#cleveland

Can someone please check on Cleveland? I'm concerned because they've been in the bathroom a long time.

"Google, how long will my trip to Cleveland take? "Your trip will take 5 hours" "Google, I have a child. "Your trip will take 9 hours".

Cleveland checks its makeup in the mirror, promises itself this time with LeBron won't be like before.

My father just texted that he's been kicked off the roof of a Cleveland casino for grilling hotdogs, if you ever wondered why I am this way.

The Pope, Lebron James, Donald Trump, and a 10 year old boy are flying in a airplane ... The airplane looses power and is quickly falling from the sky, they are gonna crash. Their are only three parachutes and the discussion begins about who should have them. Lebron James rambles on ""I'm the King of Cleveland! My fans need me to win the championship!"" He takes one of the parachutes and bails. Donald Trump rambles on "" I am President Elect! My people need me to make America Great Again! I am t…

What do you call a carpet cleaning company based out of Ohio? Cleveland Steamers

An awful teacher joke... Teacher: Where is your pencil, Ludlow? Ludlow: I ain't got none! Teacher: Ludlow! Where is your grammar? Ludlow: She's at her house in Cleveland. And she ain't got my pencil neither!

Today'a Cleveland game is 1-7 I didn't know the browns were playing tonight.

The Browns' New QB The head coach of the Browns is looking for a new QB when he sees news footage of a man in Afghanistan. This man is fighting the Taliban and in the space of a few seconds, the coach sees him burst through a wooden barricade, knock down 10 armed soldiers, run 100 yards in 10 seconds, pick up a grenade laying on the ground, and throw it through an open window of an armored vehicle driving 75 yards away at 60 miles an hour, blowing it up and saving his village. The coach gets on …

Karma Tyrone was having trouble in school; his teacher was always yelling at him, ""You're driving me crazy, Tyrone; can't you learn anything? One day Tyrone's mother came to school to see how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had such an unmotivated and ignorant boy in her entire teaching career. Tyrone's mom, shocked at the feedback, withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit, relocating to …

My girlfriend just told me she was moving away to either Cleveland or Tulsa... All I could think to say was, ""OH. OK.""

Steph Curry did what Lebron couldn't do Win a championship in Cleveland

Need to send a ton of junk mail My good friend moved into a new house and I want to send him as much junkmail as possible with his nickname on it. Basically we call him Romeo Crennel because he was such a bad coach when he was in Cleveland. So I want to sent a ton of mail to Romeo Crennel at my friend's address. Help me find the best way to do this!!

Tyrone and his teacher. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, ""You're driving me insane, Tyrone."" One day Tyrone's mom came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mom honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career. The mom was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit…

What is the difference between Detroit and Cleveland? 5 years.

Reddit's post limit reminds me of the Cleveland Show 1 joke every 10 minutes.

Everybody loves metaphors and similies, right? Here you go 1. Cold as ice 2. Fresh as a daisy 3. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like Maggots when you fry them in hot grease. 4. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field towards each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6.36 pm and traveling at 55 mph, and the other from Topeka at 4.22 pm at a speed of 35 mph. 5. Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access R:w…

What does Drew Carey have in his driveway? Cleveland Rocks!

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Cleveland to say hello to his friends. Giovanni said, ""Hey Luigi, how wassah de treepa?"" Luigi said, ""Everytinga wassah perfecto except for da traina ride down."" ""Whadda you mean, Luigi?"" asked Giovanni."" Well, we boarda da train at Granna Central Station. My beautiful Virginia, she packa bigga basket a food. She broughta vino, some nice cigars for me, and we were looking a fo…

Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the Captain announced, 'One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry, we have three engines left.' Thirty minutes later, the Captain announced, 'One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry, we have two engines left.' An hour later the Captain announced, 'One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't wor…

Salesman: This jug is genuine Indian pottery. Customer: But it says ""Made in Cleveland."" Salesman: Haven't you ever heard of the Cleveland Indians?

Jeb and Eudell University of Michigan athletes were driving from Ann Arbor to Cleveland. Just outside the city limits they saw a sign: ""CLEAN REST ROOMS."" By the time they got to Cleveland they'd cleaned 147 Johns.

The story of Tyrone When he was in school none of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity and clumsiness. However, no one disliked him as much as his teacher who was always telling him, "You're driving me crazy, Tyrone!" One day Tyrone's mother came to the school to check on her son, and his teacher told her that he was a disaster, always had bad grades, and was probably the dumbest kid she ever taught. Tyrone's mother was so furious she removed Tyrone from the Detroit school and t…

Chicago anxiety Bob was sitting on the plane at Cleveland waiting to fly to Chicago

Which lake is named after the Cleveland Steamer? Titicaca