#nfl

"America's Most Wanted" to return to the airwaves with an NFL edition.

NFL catch rules are absurd. "Even though it looked like he caught it, he hadn't accepted the ball into his heart. Therefore, incomplete."

The NFL has hired their first female referee. She will throw flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.

Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...

Jim Lehrer is moderating this debate with the skill of an NFL replacement referee.

These days HD is so good, when you watch an NFL game you can see the murder evidence.

I saved a ton of money on cool sports cars, vacation getaways and NFL season tickets by having children.

[camera cuts to me in crowd at NFL game holding a giant sign that says "I CAN'T BELIEVE THE HOT DOGS ARE 8 DOLLARS"]

Think of how horrible Ray Rice and the NFL had to act in order to make TMZ seem like brave investigative reporters

Ray Rice. Michael Vick. And now Adrian Peterson. Congratulations, NFL. Your woman/children/animal abuse trifecta is officially complete.

So I was telling a blonde about the teams playing the Superbowl this year I explained that the it's going to be the Giants vs. the Patriots. The blonde, seeming to be quick one, replies, ""So the Giants are New York, right?"" ""Correct!"" I say, getting my hopes up, ""And the Patriots are New England"" ""Oh,"" the blonde says, with a hint of confusion, ""I didn't know the NFL was international.""

Installing a Husband. **INSTALLING A HUSBAND** Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. ... In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversatio…

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common? They all have the same PR guy.

How is the NFL like Brokeback Mountain? The Cowboys suck!

I have 2 eyes and can't see, but millions of eyes on me. What am I? NFL Referee

The Browns' New QB The head coach of the Browns is looking for a new QB when he sees news footage of a man in Afghanistan. This man is fighting the Taliban and in the space of a few seconds, the coach sees him burst through a wooden barricade, knock down 10 armed soldiers, run 100 yards in 10 seconds, pick up a grenade laying on the ground, and throw it through an open window of an armored vehicle driving 75 yards away at 60 miles an hour, blowing it up and saving his village. The coach gets on …

What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common? Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both.

A black guy dies & finds himself at the Pearly Gates with St. Peter.... SP: Before I allow you to enter Heaven, you must tell me something truly extraordinary about your life. BG: Sheeet, no problem. I was a star NFL QB for 15 years! SP: One of many. What else? BG: I have 2 Super Bowl rings & 3 MVP trophys! SP: These things do not impress me. Uniqueness! BG: Damn....uh....well, I once made love to a white woman on a park bench during a Ku Klux Klan rally. SP: WOW! Really? Now THAT is ext…

Le'Veon Bell, Josh Gordon and Tom Brady walk into a bar To watch the first 4 weeks of the NFL season

Did you hear how Chewbacca did in his first year of the NFL? He was Wookie of the Year

The real joke is the NFL Okay, NFL fans, I can prove that the draft, and the entire league (except one team!!!) is rigged. Here's the evidence: Do you really believe that the Rams and Eagles would give up that much for unknown quarterbacks if the draft was real? I sure don't. They did it because the NFL promised them victories and records if they made this draft drama happen. They did it because the NFL will make sure these two young men are successes, unless they want them to be busts. If they …

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing? When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

I wrote a poem about the NFL It has 32 offensive lines.

Just learned NFL has female referee When she throws a flag and just looks at a player is he supposed to know what he did wrong? Will she throw a flag next season for something a player did this season?

Its only the three cats that are still undefeated in the NFL regular season The Bengals, The Panthers, and The Cheetahs!