#google

I'm so glad I found Twitter...I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!

Why are people still using a dictionary? I just type the words into Google and see if it corrects me.

Encyclopedias are just ghetto Google.

I an expert on everything as long as I have google within reach and I don't like you enough to want to prove you wrong.

"It wasn't always easy growing up. Sometimes we had to wait .04 seconds for 9 million Google results to load." - 2044 Presidential candidate

An 8 year old just asked me why people in electric cars don't get electrocuted when it rains and now we're checking Google

Google won't replace librarians. The internet is like giving someone a fire hose when all they asked for was a glass of water.

Okay, Beverly Hills plastic surgeons. Seems like it might be time for you to Google "normal human mouth" photos.

Marijuana does have an adverse effect on my spelling skills. It's to the point that Google even knows when I'm high.

I see Google have dropped that internet specs thing then? "Google Glass" I know what glass is, Catherine.

Finally finished carving GOOGLE EARTH CAN SUCK IT - plus a rude emoticon - into the face of a massive cliff. Now... we wait.

When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shit.

*Santa's Google search* cheap labor cheap labor not kids magic cheap labor elf for sale bulk labor laws by country north pole group travel

"What are you typing? Let me guess. Oh wait, stop right there, I know what it is. It's not that? Okay wait.. I know it, I know it!" -Google.

Google Moon is NOT what I thought it would be. *pulls up pants

My wife and I do this cute thing where she sends me pics of kitchen towels she can't decide on buying and I google my life expectancy.

Google just threw a drink in my face I deserved it I have no business asking those questions

You send yourself a message through time. "Invest in google" it says. You don't have money in the past either. Nothing Changes

"Was that lightning?" No... they're taking pictures for google earth.

Your Google Self-Driving car should be taken away if you don't let your dog sit in the driver's seat while you hold a map riding shotgun.

i have come to the conclusion that Google must be female, as she has the answer to everything!

[escorted out of google hq with armful of snakes at 9:02am on my 1st day] WELL MAYBE U SHOULDA CLARIFIED WAT U MEANT BY "PYTHON PROGRAMMER"

Scared the hell out of a stranger by sayin' "good morning" to 'em. That's a thing people used to do. Google it

Read an article that said Google is making us dumber. whatever, I've always used Google and I'm super [googles synonym for smart] able.

A big upside to marriage is never having to take time to google shit, your spouse already knows everything.