#rich

I'm dreaming of getting rich like my father. Wow your dad must be a rich man. No, he too is dreaming of getting rich.

If I was rich I'd hire a guy named Matt to stand in the tub and I'd call him my "bath Matt." And I'd also do stuff for malaria and stuff.

"What's your name?" "Who's your daddy?" "Is he rich like me?" These "reset your password" questions are getting kind of weird.

Genie: Sure about this? Me: C'mon do it Genie: It's your last wis- Me: I WANNA BE RICH Genie: Alakazam! Hi Rich, I'm Genie

When I'm rich I've decided I'll buy homeless people state-of-the-art shopping carts complete w/wheel spikes for an advantage in can fights

Nothing says "I'm a shitty parent but at least I'm rich" like giving your 2 year old an iPad.

Being rich seems convenient.

[First Date] Me: I can't believe we're on a date! It's not cause my fathers rich is it? Him: No. He's very handsome too Me: CHECK PLEASE

Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, I'm really disappointed with Bill Gates.

The first thing I'm going to do when I'm rich is buy an airline flight for everyone who works at the DMV and then delay the flight forever.

According to my bank account, I'm Rich! Rich Anderson, the name of the man whose identity I stole.

My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate.

TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS EXPLAINED: 1) Rich people make money 2) It "trickles down" to offshore banks 3) Government closes libraries/hospitals

An old man an his grandson are taking a walk one crisp fall afternoon... When the old man asks his grandson what he wanted to be when he grrw up. ""I wanna be rich like you granpa!"" , responded the boy Now the old man had worked hard all his life. Started off as an employee at a small company and ended up owning it. He almost never spent his hard earned money on luxuries. He was a smart consumer, invested wisely, yadda, yadda, yadda. The old man smiled quitely at his grandson's remark. ""Now ho…

Marketing 101 A professor explained about marketing to MBA students. 1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party, you go to her and say I am rich, marry me. That's direct marketing. 2. You attend a party and your friend goes to the girl to tell her, he's rich, marry him. That's advertising. 3. The same girl at the party walks to you and says, you're rich, do you want to marry me? That's brand recognition. 4. You say I'm rich, marry me and she introduces you to her husband. That's the demand and supply…

Guy walks into a bar... ...and orders a drink. He's carrying a brown paper bag, which he sets down on the bar. The bartender asks ""What's in the bag?"" The guy says ""Wanna see?"" He reaches into the bag and pulls out a very tiny grand piano and sets it on the bar. Then he reaches back into the bag and pulls out a tiny man dressed in a tuxedo. The little man sits down at the little piano and begins playing a song. The bartender says ""That's amazing! Where'd you get that?"" The guy explains he …

Definitions of Marketing What is MARKETING ? This is how a Professor explained Marketing Concepts to a class: 1. You see a Gorgeous Girl at a party. You go up to her and say: ""I am very rich. Marry me!"" - That's Direct Marketing. 2. You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a Gorgeous Girl. One of your friends goes upto her and pointing at you says: ""He's very rich. Marry him!"" - That's Advertising. 3. You are at a party and see a Gorgeous Girl. She walks up to you and says: ""You…

One day, buzzard and rabbit were talking. The buzzard says ""Rabbit, I'm tired of the country life. This hard work is not for me. I'm going to move to the city and get rich."" So buzzard packed up his things and moved to the city. In fact, he stayed true to his word and made it big. He bought a luxurious mansion just outside of the big city. The following summer, rabbit received a letter from buzzard asking how he was and invited him to visit him in the big city. He also asked rabbit to bring wi…

A genie grant a man two wishes Genie: What is your first wish? Jeff: I want to be Rich Genie: Okey, what is your second wish? Rich: I want lots of money

Genie: what's your first wish? Mick: I wish I were Incredibly wealthy! *POOF* Genie: You were incredibly wealthy. Mick: No you imbecile, I wish I WAS RICH *POOF* Genie: You are Rich Rich: Well that backfired but... Genie: ...but a deal is a deal and you promised to use your third wish to set me fre.. Rich: I WISH GENIE WAS HUMAN!

Vampires at the bar Rich Vampire: I want a fresh blood from a healthy human! Ordinary Vampire: Ordinary blood please! Poor Vampire: Excuse me! Can you give me a hot water? I'll make tea instead. (pulls out tampon)

A Rich Man Dies and Finds Himself At Heaven's Gate Rich Man: Where am I? And who are you? St. Peter: Why I'm St. Peter, the gatekeeper of Heaven. What is your name? Rich Man: Richy Rich. St. Peter: Alright let me see here (gets out the book of life) Richy...Rich... Ah! Here we are! You seemed to have amassed a great amount of wealth in your life...oh... Richy Rich: What's wrong? St. Peter: I'm sorry but you cannot come into heaven because you were not a Christian. I'm afraid I'll have to send yo…

A money-hungry man opted to change his name And the Rich get Richard

I like my women like I like my ice cream, Rich, creamy, and in my freezer.

The Rich Man's Car Door One day, a rich man was walking out from a store, and back to his Ferrari. He reached his car and opened the door. At that very moment, another passing car smashes into his car door, ripping it off its hinges, before zooming away. Upset about the hit and run, the rich man quickly called the police. After a while, a policeman came to examine the scene. He took one look at the rich man and said. ""You know, I think you are overly materialistic. You have been so concerned ab…