#rich

A shepherd is relaxing after a long day, when a businessman comes by... A shepherd is relaxing after a long day, when a businessman comes by. He's sat on the grass, chewing on a straw, watching his sheep roam around under the last rays of the setting sun. A jeep leaving behind clouds of dust stops before him, and off gets a businessman clad in an expensive suit and leather shoes with a camera on his hands. The businessman starts snapping pictures of the surrounding area and, once he's finished, …

A blonde is standing near a fence. A guy is walking through the countryside along a trail, when he sees a blonde woman standing near a fence. He walks up to her and asks why shes just standing there. The blonde woman gestures at the nearby field and says ""All of this belongs to me"". She turns and points down the path the man was about to continue walking down and says ""that path ALSO belongs to me, just to me, no-one else but me"". The man gives a disgusted sigh, thinking ""Stuck up Rich bitc…

I'm one step away from being rich All I need now is money

An excerpt from ""So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish"" (Adams Chp20). A brief story about biscuits. ""I was about twenty minutes early. I'd got the time of the train wrong. I suppose it is equally possible,"" he added after a moment's reflection, ""that British Rail had got the time of the train wrong. Hadn't occurred to me before."" ""Get on with it."" Fenchurch laughed. ""So I bought a newspaper, to do the crossword, and went to the buffet to get a cup of coffee."" ""You do the crossword?"" …

A Rich man sent a medicine shipment to Somalia Once it reached the Airport inspection, Customs rejected it and sent it back; the instructions on the medicines said : after meal

I wish i was like my coffee. Rich and strong.

Rich people and poor people One day, a financially successful enough father decides to take his son to the countryside to show him how poor some people may happen to be in contrast to them, who live in a nice house in the suburbs of a big city. Like this, his son could understand the value of things, and how lucky he is. So they went to the countryside and spent one day and one night in a simple countryside home. On the road back home, the father asked his son: ""So, what did you think of this l…

Friendship Merit!!!! =>Boy: Hi =>Girl: What? =>Boy: How are you? =>Girl: Do I know you? =>Boy: I'm rich =>Girl: Hi, I am Nani, I'm 20, nice to meet you! =>Boy: no no, ""Rich"" is my name =>Girl: sorry I don't talk to boys

A man walks into a talent scout's office... ... with his dog on a leash. He says to the talent scout, ""this is Rover, my talking dog. He's going to make us rich!"" Skeptical, the talent scout says ""oh yeah? Prove it."" ""not a problem"" says the man. ""Rover, what is the texture of sandpaper?"" ""Ruff!"" replies the dog. The talent scout is not amused. ""Sir, I am very busy. If you are simply going to waste my time..."" The man cuts him off. ""No, let me show you again! Rover, what do you find…

I'm Rich with a capital R! But my colleagues know me by my legal name, Richard.

A Rich Man, his Chef, and his Servant... (x-post from /r/puns) There's a rich man that has an Italian chef named Antonio and a Mexican servant named Terry. The rich man requests a meat dish with an Asian kick, so the chef gets to work, but he soon notices that he has no Asian flavoring. Frantically, he sends the servant to get some sauce. As the rich man becomes increasingly impatient for his meal, the chef calls the servant and asks, ""Terry, where are you, and what sauce did you get?"" The ser…

The Biscuit Thief ""This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person is me. I had gone to catch a train, This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was about twenty minutes early. I'd got the time of the train wrong. I suppose it is at least equally possible,"" he added after a moment's reflection, ""that British Rail had got the time of the train wrong. Hadn't occurred to me before."" ""Get on with it."" Fenchurch laughed. ""So I bought a newspaper, to do the crossword, and went t…

Rich person joke What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have 100 dead babies in my garage

Being rich is like being pregnant Everyone is happy for you, but no one asks how many times you were screwed to get there.

Romans were rich, Romans had feasts! But for the love of god stay away from their priests!

Rich Man and the Ranch A rich man owns a multi-million dollar ranch in Puerto Rico. One day, his ranch supervisor, Paco, calls him on the phone. ""Yes, Paco, what is it?"" says the Rich Man. ""Well, Senor, I have some bad news. Your prize thoroughbred, he has died."" ""My thoroughbred? I was going to make millions off that horse! I'd retired him to stud! How did he die?"" ""He died from exhaustion, Senor,"" Paco sheepishly replied. ""Exhaustion?"" screamed the Rich Man, ""he was retired! How did…

Bubba n' Buford Bubba n' Buford were sittin' on their porch one afternoon drinkin' beer n' bein' entertained by the bug zapper when this semi haulin' sod comes over the hill n' passes in front of their trailer. Bubba declares, ""When we get rich I'm gonna do that!"". Buford, asks ""Do what?"". Bubba looks at Buford like he's a idiot n' says, ""Well duh, send our grass out to get it cut like them folks!"".

Q: How do you tickle a Rich Girl? A: Gucci... Gucci... Gucci.. Q: How does a Rich Girl fart? A: Pradaaaa...!! Q: How does a Rich Girl Sneeze A: Jimmy Choo.. Jimmy Choo... Q: How does a rich girl laugh? A: Rolex on d floor laughing Q: How does a rich girl exclaim? A: Omega! ... Read more...

Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.

RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS: 1. WON'T BEAT ME UP 2. WON'T RUN AWAY 3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications. Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, ""Who are you a…

A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve …

Hoss met his close friend Rich for guidance, and narrated to him that he recently met the girl of his dreams. He asked Richard advise as to how should he proceed now! The wise Rich said, ""Well, send her roses, and on the name card invite her for a home-cooked meal."" Hoss liked the idea, so he followed Rich's advice and invited the woman. Next day after the dinner Rich called Hoss and asked him how did the home-cooked dinner go. Hoss cried, ""It flopped."" Rich asked, ""Why? Didn't the girl com…

Rich Banker A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone-call. Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?” The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?” “Um, no,” mumbled the director. “Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband died, leaving her br…

Rich Man and the Ranch A rich man owns a multi-million dollar ranch in Puerto Rico. One day, his ranch supervisor, Paco, calls him on the phone. "Yes, Paco, what is it?" says the Rich Man. "Well, Señor, I have some bad news. Your prize thoroughbred, he has died." "My thoroughbred? I was going to make millions off that horse! I'd retired him to stud! How did he die?" "He died from exhaustion, Señor," Paco sheepishly replied. "Exhaustion?" screamed the Rich Man, "he was retired! How did he ge…

A Rich man and a Miner An elderly man walks into a bar holding hands with a beautiful young woman. He is obviously a man of great wealth, as his watch is decked in diamonds and his suit is of Italian make. As the pair sits down, the bartender says “I’m sorry sir, but we don’t serve minors here,” nodding towards the woman. The man retorts “Now hold on just a minute. How would you know if she’s a minor? You haven’t even asked for her ID!” The bartender shrugs and says “she’s clearly a gold dig…