#leroy

When I have a daughter I'm naming her Leroy. No guy will ever say "Yo bro I hooked up with Leroy last night" how would that sound?

Teacher wants to play a game... 'Today we'll relax a little and play a spelling game. Each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then tell us what he would do for us if he were here today. All right, Jack, you can go first."" Jack stands up and says, 'My name's Jack. My father is a baker, thats B-A-K-E-R, and if he were here today, he'd bake a cake for the whole class to enjoy."" The class claps excitedly! Teacher says, 'Very good. All r…

Super-Diagnostic Machine Leroy and Roscoe are sitting around the lunch table in the break room when Roscoe starts complaining about his elbow. ""I reckon Imma hafta go down to the doc and have him check this thang out."" Leroy says, ""Naw, don't waste yur money. Wal-Mart has this new contrapshun whur you can go and put a piss sample in this here machine and it'll tell ya what's wrong with ya. Givver a shot befer you go see ya doc."" Roscoe was a bit skeptical, but decided it was worth it to save…

Works like a charm A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Well these two country boys in the next booth notice she is choking so they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops his coveralls and bends over and the second country boy starts licking his butt. The women watches these two go at it and is grossed out. She pukes all over the place, dislodging th…

A White Man, A Black Man and A Jewish Man... ...were out joyriding in a car they had stolen. They ran a red light and got slammed into by a semi. All three died. They found themselves standing before Satan, scared shitless. The Devil says, ""Fellas, it's my birthday and I'm feeling generous so I'll offer you a deal. Each of you give me $100 and I'll send you back to Earth for another chance."" The white man pops awake, brushes himself off and is looking around at the resulting chaos. Ambulances …

The 3 brothers named Leroy!!! Lol 3 girls met 3 brothers all named Leroy, they couldn't beside how to tell them apart so they came up with nicknames for each of them. They choose to name each Leroy after their favorite soda. The first girl came up with 7-up The otha two sisters asked y 7-up? Her reply bc he has 7inches and its all ways up.... The second sister choose mountain dew The otha to sisters replied y mnt dew? Her reply bc when i mount he dews... The third sister said lollipop....she sis…

Best hunting trip ever Leroy, Clem and Earl were spending a long weekend deer hunting. They got far out into the woods and had a disagreement about where they would hunt. Finally Leroy tells Clem and Earl, ""Well I got a cabin over yonder on that ridge so why don't you guys go where you want, I'll stay around my cabin and you come get me when you're ready to go back home."" They said ""OK"" and everyone went their separate ways. Monday rolls around and when Clem and Earl get to Leroy's cabin the…

A man walks up to the pearly gates... ""What brings you here, sir?"" asks St. Peter ""An incredibly long and arduous fight with the big C"" replied the man. ""The big C?"" ""Cancer"" said the man, solemly. ""Well we have a space for you in gods kingdom, please enter and enjoy unknown spoils for all eternity"" said Peter, opening the gates. Just then a old lady appeared on the expanse of white clouds before Peter. ""What brings you here, my dear?"" ""St. Peter, I lived a long, happy life, but it …

One day in bible class... A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, ""But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"" Miss replied, ""Stay out of this one, Leroy!""

3 women where having a coffee and some girl talk One of them goes: ""Girls, if you're man was to be compared to a soda brand, what would it be? Mine would be 7UP, because he's 7 hard inches, always up"" ""Well mine would be Mountain Dew since he likes to mount and do me everyday."" says the second. The last one ponders for a second in silence and then adds: ""Well I guess mine would be Jack Daniels"" ""But baby, that's not soda!"" said the other girls ""That's hard liquor!"" ""That's my Leroy!""

Little Leroy Birthday. Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. ""Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."" Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him …

Notes from the Chicago welfare office.... A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids. 'WOW."" the social worker exclaims, ""Are they all yours?"" ""Yep, they is all mine,"" the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, ""Sit down Leroy."" All the children rush to find seats. ""Well.""' says the social worker, ""Then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."" ""Well, to keep it simple, the boys is all name…

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily News in Starkville, MS. and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, ""Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."" Curtis & Leroy replied, ""well, then just give us our money back."" The farmer said, ""Can't do that. I went and spent it already."" They said, ""OK then, just bring us the dead mule."" The farmer asked, ""What in the world …

Names please A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under ""Number of children,"" she wrote ""10,"" and where it said ""List names of children,"" she wrote ""Leroy."" When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: ""Now here where it says ""List names of children,"" you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children."" ""Dey all named Leroy,"" said the black woman. ""That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want…

Welfare Joke A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under ""Number of children,"" she wrote ""10,"" and where it said ""List names of children,"" she wrote ""Leroy."" When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: ""Now here where it says 'List names of children', you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children."" ""They all named Leroy,"" said the black woman. ""That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?…

In a train... Big Leroy, the black American football player, and Rabbi Sapperstein, the Jew, are riding in a train together. It is a hot, sunny day, and there are many flies, lazily buzzing around the compartment. Suddenly, a fly lands on the Rabbi's sleeve and he brushes it off in disgust. A few moments later another fly lands, but this time on Big Leroy's leg. The giant football star moves like lightning, and grabs the fly between two of his huge black fingers. Leroy then slowly pulls off both…

Leroy A woman who has recently moved to a new area goes into the local welfare office to meet her now case worker. All is going well, her case for welfare is pretty solid, but then the worker notices something a bit off. He asks the woman, ""Excuse me ma'am, but according to this you have fourteen sons. Is this true?"" ""Mmm-hmm. They's my boys."" ""Well yes ma'am, I understand that, but why are all fourteen of them named 'Leroy.'"" ""Well that just makes it easier for me. Whenever I wants my bo…

Redneck First Aid A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country. She orders the chicken and starts to eat. Eating too fast she starts to choke on a chicken bone. Well these two hillbillies in the next booth notice she is choking so they get up and go over to help her. The first country boy drops his coveralls and bends over and the second hillbilly starts licking his butt. The women watches these two go at it and is grossed out. She pukes all over the place, dislodging the ch…

Leroy There was a man who goes to the bank and sees a woman with twelve children. He's astonished that this woman has so many children with her and so he approaches her and says, ""Wow that sure is a lot of kids are they yours?"" The woman says ""Yes all twelve are mine."" The man shocked by this replies ""What are there names."" She says ""Leroy, one e for the girls and two e's for the boys."" At this the man is really surprised and asks ""doesn't that get confusing?"" She says ""No it's great …

Leroy is in deep trouble. Calhoun, his lawyer, demands that Leroy be tried by a ""jury of his peers,"" so the prosecutor and Calhoun pick 12 black men to sit in the jury box. Immediately, Calhoun insists that the proceedings be dismissed and the charges be dropped... Because they have a hung jury.

A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve …

Leroy goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After awhile the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over to come forward to the front at the altar. Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: ""Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"" Leroy replies: ""Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."" The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the p…

An Arkansas woman is in the welfare office filling out forms. The welfare officer asks her how many children she has? ""Ten boys."" ""And their names?"" ""Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, and Leroy."" ""All named Leroy? Why would you name them all Leroy?"" ""That way, when I wants them all to come in from the yard, I just yells 'LEROY!', and when I wants them all to come to dinner, I just yells 'LEROY!'"" ""What if you just want a particular one of them to do someth…

Leroy Uncle Leroy got a job down at the Broom Factory. On his first day the straw boss (Floor supervisor)calls ol' Leroy into his little office and says, ""You the new man huh? What is yer name?"" Leroy replied ""Leroy"" The straw boss says ""I don't call anyone by first names. It breeds familiarity and that leads to breakdown in my Authority. I refer to all employees by last names; Now what is Your Last Name!"" Leroy sort of smiles and says, ""Its Darling - Leroy Darling! The Straw Boss said ""…

Three ladies all have separate boyfriends named Leroy... One evening, while sharing a few drinks at the bar, one of the ladies suggests, "Let's name our Leroys after a soda pop, because I'm tired of getting my Leroy mixed up with your Leroy, and her Leroy mixed up with your Leroy." The other two ladies agree. The first lady speaks out, "Okay then, I'm gonna name my Leroy 7-Up because he has 7 inches and it's always up!" The three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other high fives. Then,…