#ron

My neighbor Ron is mad at me just because my book 'The Many Lawn Care Mistakes of My Neighbor Ron' is a hit with both critics and readers.

Ron on Facebook says he hopes to be stuck on a dessert island, so naturally I commented "that sounds delicious".

Teacher wants to play a game... 'Today we'll relax a little and play a spelling game. Each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then tell us what he would do for us if he were here today. All right, Jack, you can go first."" Jack stands up and says, 'My name's Jack. My father is a baker, thats B-A-K-E-R, and if he were here today, he'd bake a cake for the whole class to enjoy."" The class claps excitedly! Teacher says, 'Very good. All r…

What's green and falls up? [yemaste](http://www.reddit.com/user/yemaste) posted this 6 months ago, but I just watched that episode of Party Down where Ron says it. I googled the joke but [this post](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/d1zae/whats_green_and_falls_up/) was the first on the list and no one had a decent answer. Come on, punchlines!!!

I know why my name is Cameron. Father: You know why I named you Cameron? Me:Why Father: cause I came ron

ADVICE FROM RON - A RETIRED HUSBAND It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with he…

What did ron say when he got Hermione pregnant? Fetus deletus

i have a question for ron gaul why was my wife screaming your name last night?

A guy goes to a boxing match. (long ...but worth it) His favorite fighter, Ruby Ron, is fighting for the title and this guy has bet a lot of money on Ron winning. The fight begins and the fighters start jabbing, bobbing and weaving, and feeling each other out. Then somebody sitting behind the guy hollers out ""hey Jimmy!"" He turns his head to see who was yelling at him. While he's looking backward he hears the crowd roar. He looks back at the ring and realizes Ruby Ron has knocked down his oppo…

L. Ron Hubbard's brothers These come to mind as I drive. L. Ron Hubbard's . . . . . . corporate swindler brother--Enron Hubbard . . . foolish brother--Moron Hubbard . . . oil executive brother--Chevron Hubbard . . . political candidate brother--Electron Hubbard . . . scientist brother--Neutron Hubbard . . . small-measurement specialist brother--Micron Hubbard . . . mechanized replica brother--Animatron Hubbard . . . agricultural researcher brother--Acceleron Hubbard . . . particle accelerating b…

If you don't get my Harry Potter references, there is something siriusly ron with you

My Old Teammate Ron. So when I was in high school we had a standout basketball player (Ron) who was destined to be in the NBA in his life. As a sophomore, he was 6'7"" 230, super athletic and was a star in any sport he played, but he loved basketball the most. One night he was out celebrating after a win and his buddy was driving drunk and wrecked. Ron wasn't wearing his seat belt and was thrown from the vehicle. He suffered a lot of serious injuries, but what was devastating was that they had t…

Ron visits Harry Ron: Ring ring. Harry: Who's there? Ron: It's Ron! Harry: Ron who? Ron: Harry, it's me! Ron Weasley! The Door: I think his perception of identity is suffering. Harry: Nobody asked you, dumb bell door! The Door: See.

A junkie walks into a gay bar,..... he goes straight to the bathroom and starts banging ron.

Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today. ""I'll do anything for 3 points"" he said when questioned.

The 3 Spies There are 3 Spies that get captured. One spy is French, one is German and the other is Italian. Their captors come into the cell and grab the French spy and tie his hands behind a chair in the next room. They torture him for 2 hours before he answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets. The captors throw the French spy back into the cell and grab the German spy. They tie his hands behind the chair as well and torture him for 4 hours before he tells them what they want to k…

Rupert Grint bursts into the room, "Mum, I just got a part in the Harry Potter movie!" "Serious?" "No, Ron."

Police stop old man. Ron Chestna 89 years of age was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night . Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Ron replied, "That would be my wife."

Ron was pulled over at 2 am by a police officer. The cop asked him where he was going at this time of night. Ron answered, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the body, particularly while behind the wheel of an automobile." The cop raised an eyebrow. "Who's giving a lecture like that at this hour?" Ron answered, "My wife." (Credit: unknown, not mine)

A Brilliant Old Man and Skinny Dipping Ladies Ron an elderly man in Florida

Ron an elderly man in Florida...

What's green and falls up? posted this 6 months ago, but I just watched that episode of Party Down where Ron says it. I googled the joke but was the first on the list and no one had a decent answer. Come on, punchlines!!!

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. “Ray, what noise does a cow make?” “It goes moo.” “Peyton, what noise does a cat make?” “It goes meow.” “Dwayne, what sound does a lamb make?” “It goes baaa.” “Ron, what sound does a mouse make?” “Errr.., it goes.. click!”

Jon and Ron are brothers. Their teacher told them to write an essay about Dog. After checking the essays, the teacher said, “Why both essays are same?” Ron: “Sir, our pet dog is same!”

Teacher: “Why is sea water salty?” Student: “Maybe a ship of salt sank a long time ago!” 3358. Teacher: “Ron, your handwriting is very bad. You will suffer in the future.” Ron: “Don’t worry Sir. I will be a typist!”