#antonio

All I want to know is why Antonio Banderas' hair has been wet for 20 years.

A Rich Man, his Chef, and his Servant... (x-post from /r/puns) There's a rich man that has an Italian chef named Antonio and a Mexican servant named Terry. The rich man requests a meat dish with an Asian kick, so the chef gets to work, but he soon notices that he has no Asian flavoring. Frantically, he sends the servant to get some sauce. As the rich man becomes increasingly impatient for his meal, the chef calls the servant and asks, ""Terry, where are you, and what sauce did you get?"" The ser…

Music nerd's joke. Bach (a father of 20) was bragging to Vivaldi (a priest). Bach: You know, I have 20 children. Vivaldi: Yeah, I know. Bach: I've written chorales, oratorios, concertos. I've codified the tonal system. I've invented a way of tuning harpsichords and organs so that they can play in a multitude of keys without having to be retuned between key changes. Vivaldi: Yeah, I heard. Well, Johann was going on and on about himself when, suddenly, he fell into a ditch. Bach: O help me, Antoni…

REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL. NAME______________________________ GANG NAME_________________________ 1) Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold? 2) Rufus pimps 3 hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus' $800 per day crack habit? 3) Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make…

Two Italians, Luigi and Antonio, met on the street. "Hey, Antonio!" shouted Luigi. "Where you been for the past two weeks? No one seen you around." "Dona talk to me, Luigi. I been inna jail." "Jail!" exclaimed Luigi. "Why you been inna jail?" "Wella, Luigi," explained Antonio, "I was lying onna dis beach, and the cops come arrest me and throw me inna jail." "But dey dona throw you inna jail just for lying onna beach." "Yeah," said Antonio, "but dis beach was screamin' and akickin' and a yellin'!…