#terry

Made a friend today. Well, I knocked on my window when a guy walked past my house. I'll name him Terry.

Me: Okay... Time for bed. Brain: Cool. Me: Brain: Me: Brain: If you had a pterodactyl, would you name him Terry... or Perry??

Oh man, this whole time we've been trying to stop SEAWATER from gushing into our OIL. Stupid Terry was holding the diagram upside down.

[dinosaur naming committee] TERRY: and we will call the flying one the Terodactyl PTERRY: I've got a crazy idea

"Sorry I didn't reply to your email Terry, a wolf ripped my hands off... Oh these? Um, I got new hands? Gotta go!"

[at funeral] "it was so sudden" really? "yeah right in the middle of rap battle" I thought you said he died of dysentery TERRY: That's right

A woman walks into the Social Worker's office, trailed by 15 kids WOW, the social worker exclaims, Are they ALL yours? Yeah they're all mine, the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, Sit down Terry. All the children rush to find seats. Well, says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names. This one's my oldest - he is Terry. OK, and who's next? Well, this one he is Terry, also. The social worker raise…

Did you hear about the man who was found dead shortly after insulting one Mr. T Crews? He died of dissin' Terry.

Mary goes to the supermarket... Mary goes to the supermarket, needing eggs and bread. She is particularly fond of potato bread, but she can't reach it, as it is stocked on the top shelf. She sees a taller woman and asks for assistance. The other woman, happy to help, reaches up and grabs the potato bread and hands it to Mary. She thanks her, and the women are on their way. Mary then stops by to get some eggs and runs into the taller lady again. The taller lady introduces herself as Sherri, and s…

Brenda and Terry are going out for the evening, but before they do, they always put their cat outside... The taxi arrives, and just as the couple walk out of the house, the cat scoots back in. Terry returns inside to chase it out. Brenda, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explains to the taxi driver, ""My husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."" Several minutes later, an exhausted Terry arrives and climbs back into the taxi saying, ""Sorry I took so long, t…

Don't make fun of Terry If he kills you, you would die of dissin' Terry

Heisenberg's wife was unhappy... because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum. Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad.

Terry wogans head stene is to be left blankity blank

Met a girl recently. Her ex was named terry. Made a bad joke and just like the Oregon Trail my game died from dysentery.

Terry Schiavo's husband might have kept her alive if he was a vegan. Then he would have an all he can eat vegetable.

Terrible Oregon Trail Joke You are playing Oregon trail and you come across a wandering stranger. The stranger comes up to you and asks if he could join your group. You say I don't know what is your name. The stranger responds with Terry. You say no thanks Terry you can't join our group. Then Terry pulls a gun out and shoots and kills you. You die of dysentery.

If the Cholera Doesn't Get Ya... Your on the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You laugh and say ""Terry is a girls name!"" He shoots you. You have died of dissin Terry.

A Rich Man, his Chef, and his Servant... (x-post from /r/puns) There's a rich man that has an Italian chef named Antonio and a Mexican servant named Terry. The rich man requests a meat dish with an Asian kick, so the chef gets to work, but he soon notices that he has no Asian flavoring. Frantically, he sends the servant to get some sauce. As the rich man becomes increasingly impatient for his meal, the chef calls the servant and asks, ""Terry, where are you, and what sauce did you get?"" The ser…

A mother of 15 went to apply for Welfare... ""We'll need the name of each of your children ma'am"" said the man behind the counter. ""Ok, well all of the boys are named Terry with a Y and all the girls are named Terri with an I"" replied the woman. ""How do you manage to control all of them? Doesn't it get confusing with them all having the same name?"" ""Well it makes it a lot easier. When ever I need them to wake up or come inside I just yell Terry or Terri."" Explained the woman. ""What if yo…

The ginger woman at work.... The ginger woman at my work recently announced that she is pregnant by her black boyfriend. She was discussing possible baby names the other day, apparently ""Terry The Chocolate Orange"" is not tolerated and is enough to get you fired.

Silly one my dad told me in childhood So Tom and Terry are walking down a dirt road. ""Watch out Tom you're about to step in poop!"" *Crouching down ""No way, that's not poop"" ""Dude it definitely is! Just look at it"" ""I can't trust your eyes. I'll prove it"" Tom scoops up a handful and shovels it into his mouth. *Chuckling ""Would you look at that. It IS poop! Good thing I didn't step in it!""

Three fishermen Bob, Steve, and Terry are out in the boat, fishing and drinking beer. Terry stands up to pee over the side but falls overboard and sinks right to the bottom. Steve doesn't hesitate. He kicks off his shoes and dives into the water after Terry. A few moments later, he surfaces, dragging the body behind, and immediately begins mouth-to-mouth. ""Jeez,"" he gasps. ""Terry sure does have bad breath!"" ""Yeah,"" says Bob. ""And where did he get that snowmobile suit?""

Cannibals again! Three friends are trekking through an aboriginal Amazonian jungle when they are captured by cannibals. They are taken to the chief one at a time for their doom. The chief explains how the cannibal society places great value on self control and bravery in the face of pain, and if they can successfully pass a test of bravery they will be allowed to go free. Otherwise they will be eaten. The prisoners are removed to a holding area in a nearby cave and brought out one at a time. Eac…

Playing Oregon Trail. You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him, ""That's a girl's name!"" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

A man gets into a fight with his wife. (Put together terribly) They live right on the coast of California, the man gets kicked out of his house by his wife so he goes for a walk along the beach. The man suddenly stops when he hears this loud booming voice. Terry(Thats his name from now on) I see you have gotten into quite the fight with your wife, its troubling to see you so distraught because you are a very loyal husband, because you have a great relationship with me i am willing to help you. N…