#wales

My half-brothers had a Hungarian dad and an Eskimo dad. My dad was from Wales. Our dinner table was like the U.N...only with slapping.

Fat Girls Last night I was having some wings and beer with a coworker after work. There were these two pretty, but kinda fat girls drinking at the bar and being loud. They had what I could have sworn was a Scottish accent. I'm a big fan of girls from the UK, so I struck up a conversation. I asked them, ""So... you two ladies are from Scotland?"" I could see immediately that I had offended them. The brunette scowled and said, hotly, ""WALES!"" I apologized and said, ""I'm sorry. Are you two whale…

Recycling is important... I went to the bar last night. I saw two rather large ladies having a great time. They seemed to be speaking in an Irish accent. I sauntered over and asked them ""Are you ladies from Ireland?"" They responded, ""It's Wales, you idiot!"" I apologized immediately and said ""Are you whales from Ireland?"" I don't remember much after that. I woke up as a marine biologist!

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk....... Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Wales for quite cheap. So, they brought the cow over from Wales . It was absolutely wonderful and it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They later bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow wo…

Once upon a time in a bar I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, ""Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"" One of them snarled at me, ""It's Wales, dumbo!"" So I corrected myself, ""Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?"" That's about as far as I remember.

Countries I can't believe Japan have not attacked: Wales

British Royalty! Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on. That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, ""Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me!"" Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge. ""Harder!"" yelled Camilla, ""Harder."" Charles yel…

Classic An Englishman and an Irish man walk into a bar... ...they were watching Wales get through to the semi final.

A few years ago I was at the pub. Sitting at the end of the bar were two large middle-aged women speaking in what I thought were thick English accents. Being new to the area and friendly, I say ""Oh! Are you two ladies from England?"" The one closest to me gets a look of disgust and with a super bitchy tone says ""Actually, it's Wales"". So I reply ""Oh, I'm sorry. Are you two whales from England?""

It's easier to take Wales out of the EU... ...than it is to take a Welshman out of the ewe.

An American man walks into a bar... An American man walks into a bar and grabs a seat. While ordering a pint, he can't help but overhear an obnoxiously loud but indiscernible conversation from three massively large ladies down the bar. The man calls out to them,, ""Hey babes, are you from Scotland?"" Quite rudely, one lady interjects while inhaling her fish and chips,nmnm, ""It's Wales, you jackass!"" Embarrassed, the man replies, ""My deepest apologies, Whales, are you fom Scotland?""

Doctor and rabbit Doctor: You're obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You're quite ugly, too. Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years? Do you smoke? No. Do you eat too much? No. Do you go to bed late? No. Do you have affairs with promiscuous women? No. Then why would you want to live more than 100 years? Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood. Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name's day Your Holiness! - Pope: But tod…

So I'm in a bar.. So, I'm in a bar and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me. I say, ""Cool accents, are you two ladies from Scotland?"" One of them yells, ""It's Wales, you idiot!"" So I say, ""Ok, are you two Whales from Scotland?"" I don't remember much after that.

So I was at this little pub in Great Britain..... I notice these two women, both cute but a bit chubby. I approached the girls and asked ""Are you two ladies from Scotland""?, to which the heftier one replied ""It's Wales you idiot""! Taken a bit aback by this, I replied ""Oh, sorry. Are you two Whales from Scotland""?

Grandpa's joke last night. Two heavy set women are talking by the bar. The bartender says ""You ladies have a lovely accent. Are you from Scotland?"" One of them women goes ""No, Wales."" The bartender replied ""Are you whales from Scotland?"" Then grandpa precedes to explain the joke about them being whales. We were in my younger brothers school for a basketball game and everyone was in earshot.

I was in a bar Saturday night, and had a few drinks. I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, ""Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"" One of them screamed, ""It's Wales you idiot!"" So, I immediately apologized and said, ""Sorry, are you two whales from Ireland?"" That's all I remember.

One time I approached two big girls at a bar I noticed thieve got strong accents, so I ask ""Are you two from Scotland?"" One turns and shouts ""Its wales you idiot!"" ""oh Sorry!"" I say, ""Are you two whales from Scotland?""

ambulance in welsh i was in wales once and i saw a accident, i ran to him and said ' are you ok?' he then replaid 'atikhrtvyjj yugkn lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll' (apparently that 'get the ambulance' in welsh)

What do people say when they hear about the assassin from Wales? Welsh-hitman!

I went to the pub the other night. There were three rather hefty ladies having a rowdy good time. Their accent appeared to be Scottish so I approached and asked, ""Hello ladies, are you three lassies from Scotland?"" One of them angrily screeched, ""It's Wales you bloody idiot, Wales!"" So I apologized and replied, ""I'm terribly sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"" PS: Probably an oldie but I just heard it recently.

[NSFW] Following on from the condoms joke ... ... the first time I worked in Wales I was in the bar of the pub I was sleeping at and getting on quite well with the locals, something many Englishmen will know can be hard to do if you don't know someone there. One old boy decided, without any prompting, to instruct me on the best ways to make love to a sheep. He said that the two things you could not do without, apart from a good looking sheep, were a dry stone wall and a pair of Wellington boots.…

A Teacher in Wales got arrested They found a pencil, a ruler and a geometry set square. Allegedly he was part of the Al-gebra network and purchased ""weapons of math instruction""

I was in a bar the other night... ...and overheard three very hefty women talking. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, ""Hello, ladies are you from Scotland?"" One of them angrily screeched, ""It's Wales you bloody idiot, Wales!"" So I apologized and replied, ""I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"" And that is the last ting I remember.

I was in bed with my two girlfriends this morning.. How do you start a rave in Africa? Pencil. Am i doing this right? ( sorry for bad English I'm from Wales)

So this guy went to Wales to work on a sheep farm. A couple of days later, he got really lonely. So, he'd heard the legends, and figured ""When in Rome...."" So he got himself a sheep. And shagged it. While leading the sheep back to its pen, he saw a bunch of the other guys looking at him, pointing fingers and laughing. Shoot! Maybe the legends weren't true after all. One of the locals came up and said, between peals of laughter, ""You.....hahah...had to pick the ugly one, didn't you?""