#europe

The Anti-Blonde Joke A blonde living NYC goes to a bank to get a $10,000 loan. The bank, of course, asks for collateral, so she offers up her $60,000 BMW. The bank eagerly accepts and the blonde leaves with her cash. She then hops in a cab to the airport, travels Europe for 3 weeks and returns (not having spent any of her $10,000. She goes to the bank, pays back the money plus ~$20 in interest and retrieves her car. She successfully parked her car in a secured lot for 3 weeks in NYC for $20.

An Australian joke Dave returned to Snake Gully after a brief trip to Europe. Dad said, 'Reckon you saw a lot of mighty fine things in that Europe.' 'Sure did, Dad. Cathedrals, palaces, mansions. But what impressed me most were the dunnies. They sure have got terrific dunnies. And they all flush.' 'Well, son,' said Dad, 'reckon you ought to build yourself one of those posh dunnies. But you'll have to get rid of the old shithouse first."" 'Nothing to it, Dad.' Dave took out a hand grenade that he…

if you live in Europe - you are gay. (True) A recent russian news report on tv told that there are 58 kinds of gay people in Europe. My question to you /r/jokes: How many kinds of gay people do you know?

THE best Bavarian cream pie My grandpa was stationed in Germany after the war. And when I was very small he told me about this little restaurant that served THE best Bavarian cream pie. Apparently he went there every opportunity he had. He couldn't get enough of that Bavarian cream pie - it was absolutely unreal. Well, a few years ago, my grandpa found out that he had a terminal illness, and only had a few months left to live. So, he booked a deluxe vacation cruise to Europe that would eventuall…

TIL Nickleback, tired and at their last show across Europe (in Portugal), had roadies throw things at them from within the audience during the show. The lead singer used it as an excuse to walk off stage, thus getting them out of having to perform. Just kidding. It was their fans throwing shit at them because everyone hates Nickleback even their fans.

Why isn't there many Mexicans in Europe? BeCause it's to cold, long a swim

My friend tells me he graduated from Europe with a Celsius in Engineering.

Why did Karl Marx like going to continental Europe so much? Because they did not have proper tea.

BE AFRAID IF YOU ANNOY THIS HUSBAND!! A man and woman where on their honeymoon after a long and very happy courtship. On their honeymoon, they decide to take their horses through the beautiful mountain passes of Europe. As the horses were crossing a small stream, the woman's horse mis-steps and jostles the man's wife. Once across the stream, the man dismounts, walks over to the horse, and stares into its eyes. Finally, he states, ""That's one."" The man remounts his horse and they continue their…

I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is ""the stupidest country in the world."" *Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world* [Source!] (http://www.sickipedia.org/racism/american/im-american-and-im-sick-of-people-saying-america-is-105756)

My wife and I were walking down the street. My wife and I were walking down the street when she spotted the mayor of our town. ""You should go introduce yourself"" she said. I replied ""I have known him for years why should I?"" ""You do not know the mayor!"" she exclaimed. It was then that we walked up and talked to the mayor for 10 minutes. When we walked away she said I guess you did know the mayor. About a year later my wife and I were traveling through Washington D.C. and she said ""Wouldn'…

Found this in my timeline... I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch. I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre. Now,the Yorkshire police, the National Security Bureau, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in Europe are all watching my house 24x7x365. My children are followed to sch…

The Train Carriage Compartment So, traveling by train through Europe were a Ukrainian man, a Russian soldier, an old lady, and a beautiful young woman. Naturally, there was some tension, and nobody spoke. Then the train went into a tunnel, and everything, for a moment, was pitch dark. There's the sound of a loud kiss, a slap, and when the train emerges from the carriage, the Russian soldier is nursing a very sore cheek. The old lady thinks: ""Serves him right! How dare he take advantage of that …

Geek Joke If you look at the history of Europe, you'll note that Germany has invaded France a number of times. It has been speculated that because the Franks originally came from Germany, the Germans are simply trying to get their own back. You could say the same about Italy invading France, since it was once a Roman Provence. But that would take a lot of Gaul.

It must be tough to live in Europe. There's neither land nor way..

Why does Eatern Europe always fail their test? Because they're always russian to finnish first.

Who doesn't enjoy a blonde joke A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's pr…

Dream Big A teacher asks her class, ""What do you want to be when you grow up?"" Little Johnny says ""I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day"". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to…

Taken for a Ride A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and said, ""Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."" Moving closer he slippe…

The legend of Sorry the archer. An archery contest is taking place, and all the top archers of Europe are in attendance. The final begins, and the three greatest archers must compete in shooting an apple from a little girls head. The first archer steps up. He draws, and fires an arrow right through the apple. The audience applauds, he bows and proclaims ""I am Robin Hood!"" The second archer steps up. He draws, and also hits the apple. He waves his hat at the cheering crowd, and cries out ""I am…

How do you tell a British guy that it's his turn to play ball? ""Europe""

A woman walked into a bank, A woman walked into a bank in New York and asked for the loan officer. She said that she was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5000. The bank officer told her that he will need some kind of security for such loan. So the woman handed over the keys of a new Rolls Royce car that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything was checked and the bank agreed to accept the car as security for the loan. An employee rode the car into …

The Foreign exchange Student. An architect student walks into his classroom one morning to find the professor about to make an announcement. ""Future architects, I present to you Max. He's here doing a semester abroad from Europe! Please help him feel welcome!"" The architect student took it upon himself to befriend the FES to make him feel at home. A few weeks go by and the deadline for the first sketch assignment rolls along. on the day the assignment is due, the Professor asks everyone to pul…

A Blonde Goes to the Bank A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank's president …

smart blonde joke A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank's president a…