#mercedes-benz

Short Story on Wit A GUJARATI having no children, no money, no home and a blind mother. Prays sincerely to God for improving his life style. God is very pleased with his prayer, and............ Grants him one wish........... Just one!!!!!!!!!!!! The Gujarati says OK God, thanks, my one and only wish is- 'I want my Mom to SEE my wife putting, Rupees twenty million worth of diamond around on my Child's neck, in my Mercedes Benz parked near the swimming pool of our new 5 acre bungalow in Beverly Hi…

Why was the Mercedes Benz on sales? Because they've removed 6 rows of yellow LED strips...

I crashed my family's car I've always wanted to see how a Mercedes-Benz.

Man to very beautiful airhostess:- ""What's your name?"" Air hostess:- ""Eva Benz.."" Man :- ""Lovely name...any relation to Mercedes Benz?"" Air hostess:- (smiling) ""maintenance cost is same"" :D

A German joke (I tried to translate a German joke into English. For the full effect try to read it in an East German accent. Just try your best imitation of a German accent and make it sound shitty on purpose.) After the fall of the Berlin wall an East German decides to visit West Germany for the first time. He is amazed by how different everything is and decides to take a cab to explore everything. He enters the Mercedes cab and they drive off. He notices the Mercedes-Benz hood ornament, but do…

A woman gets hit by a car... looks like she got to see how the Mercedes Benz

Did you hear about the guy who crashed his car into a tree? He wanted to see how much his Mercedes Benz

What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6? Mercedes Benz...

So a police officer is called out to the scene where a Mercedes is wrapped around a tree, He said ""Well, I guess that's the way the Mercedes Benz""

Southern Charm Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, ""When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."" The lady from the South commented, ""Well, bless your hea…

A Blonde Goes to the Bank A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank's president …

smart blonde joke A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank's president a…

If you want to change your life significantly just walk to the Mercedes-Benz 600 standing at the junction, take a brick and throw it into the windshield.

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, ""When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."" The lady from the South commented, ""Well, isn't that precious?"" The first wom…

Blondes are getting clever. A blond walks into a bank in New York City and asks for a loan. She is going on a two week long businesstip arround Europe and needs a loan on $800. The banker says that the bank needs some kind of security for the loan. The blonde hands over the keys for her brand new Mercedes, which is parked right outside of the bank. The banker says this will work just fine as security for the loan and accepts the car keys. The banker and his co-workers laughes at the blonde si…

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz? The porcupine's pricks are on the outside.

An old group of friends go golfing... Bill, Bob, Jim and Troy are on the golf course and are discussing how well their sons have been doing in life before teeing off. Bill has to leave to go to the bathroom while the others get ready to tee off on the first hole. They start bragging about their sons.... Bob says to the guys, 'my son has been doing so well in the contsructuon business that he decided to build his best friend a brand a new house, and he gave it to him for free!' Jim says, 'oh…

[Long] Four old buddies meet up at a bar to reminisce... One of them has to use the bathroom, so he excuses himself from the bar. While he's gone the other 3 guys start talking about their sons. The first guy says, "Well I was a little worried about my son. After high school he didn't seem to have any ambition. I made him get a job raking leaves for a big real estate company, and one day while he was at work he started talking to a couple that stopped by a house on a whim. Well, he sold them t…

Can a Toyota stretch? No, but a Mercedes-Benz

Southern Charm Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that pr…

Buddy of mine got a brand new Mercedes Benz for his Wife Damn good trade if you ask me.

Speeding? A pensioner drove his brand new Mercedes Benz to 100 mph. Looking in his rear view mirror, he sees a cop behind him, signaling to pull over. He floored it to 140 , then 150, then 155, and 160…Suddenly he thought, "Shit man, I'm too old for this nonsense !" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the cop to catch up with him. The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes. And guess what, today is Friday and I'm takin…

Finally a smart blonde joke A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan. The bank…

An American politician and a Russian politician are having dinner They are eating at the American politician's house in suburban Virginia. A 6 bedroom house with a 2 Mercedes Benz at the front. And a 500 square foot garden. The Russian politician remarked how nice his house was and how he was able to afford it. The American politician said: "see that highway over there? It was meant to have 4 lanes instead of three" A few months later the Russian politician invited the American over to his d…