#yorkshire

Can someone explain this joke? I'm assuming it requires some Spanish knowledge. A Yorkshire couple go to the Costa Brava for a holiday, but on arrival, the wife says ""I won't be able to make gravy with your dinner, love - I've forgotten the Bisto"" The husband says, ""Don't worry, there's an English couple staying in the next apartment, I'll see if they have any"" So he knocks on the door of the next apartment, and says to the man"" 'Allo, 'hast any Bisto"" To which the man replies ""Piss off, …

Those thrifty Yorkshire lads The couple had been happily married for 50 years. The husband contacted the newspaper regarding an obituary. When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion,""How Much?!!!"" He reluctantly produced his wallet. ""I want summat simple,"" he explained,""my Gladys was a good-hearted and hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wunt ave wanted to be owt swanky'. ""Perhaps a small poem,"" suggested the woman at the desk. ""Nay,"" he said, ""she wunt ave wa…

Police in Yorkshire have discovered a new method of taking Ecstasy, where users dab it into their mouths... E by gum

Stereotypes OK Google, How to deep fry yorkshire terrier? -Chinese People OK Google, How to cook meth? -White People OK Google, How to free my lil' homie Capone? -Black People OK Google, How to avoid deportation? -Mexican People OK Google, How to apply deodorant? -Indian People

A woman and her puppy take a taxi ride. Since it's not her first language, she converses here and there with the cabbie in broken English all the while petting her small Yorkshire terrier, Peter. Finally arriving at her destination, the cabbie speaks up: ""That'll be $24.50."" The woman sets her dog on the seat next to her and pulls out her wallet, retrieving both a twenty and a five dollar bill before handing it to the man. ""You have change?"" The cabbie is obviously a little upset at the woma…

Found this in my timeline... I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch. I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre. Now,the Yorkshire police, the National Security Bureau, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in Europe are all watching my house 24x7x365. My children are followed to sch…

I don't know why everyone is suddenly talking about Twerking... My mate from Yorkshire has been doing it for years. As he says, it's how he gets t'money t'pay t'bills.

Best read in a Yorkshire accent. An old lady dies, and her husband has to decide an epitaph for her gravestone. Since she had been devoutly religious, giving her life to God, he asked for the inscription ""She was Thine"". At the funeral, he noticed the inscription was wrong, it said ""She was Thin"". He told the stonemason he'd missed the ""e"" off, and he promised to fix it. When the man returned to lay flowers a few days later, he saw the new inscription: ""Eee, She was Thin""

Found this in my timeline... I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch. I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre. Now,the Yorkshire police, the National Security Bureau, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in Europe are all watching my house 24x7x365. My children are followed to school…

"Doctor, doctor!" "I've roast beef in one ear, Yorkshire pudding in the other ear and gravy all down my legs!" Doctor: "Hmmm. I don't think you're eating properly."

Why don't people from Yorkshire use deodorant? Because they have no pits.

A man stole a joint of beef from a supermarket. As he ran out with the beef under his arm, a security guard spotted him and shouted: "What are you doing with that?" The thief shouted back: "Roast potatoes, carrots and Yorkshire pudding."