#mexico

Three Mexicans arrive at the border and see the sign ""No Trespassing"". Very disappointed, they don't know what to do. Violating the sign will mean trouble later on with law; they could be deported back to Mexico. Going back at this point is also not a good option. They stand there for hours for help for nothing comes. Then there was a fellow among them who is quick witted. He said: let us all form a line and go Juan by Juan.

Another best farting joke i've EVER heard.. There was a Mexican, a American and a Japanese pilot. They were taking turns flying over each of ther countries so they were flying over Kapan and the Japanese guy drops an apple on his country and the other two ask why he did that and he said ""Because I love my country!"" So they went on to Mexico and the Mexican drops an orange on his country so the other two asked why he did that and he said ""Because I love my country"" So they went on to America …

There is an American, a German, and a Mexican. They are in all in a boat. The boat is about to sink. Each of them have to throw things out to make the boat lighter. The German throws out 4 cases of beer and says, ""We have a lot of bear in Germany so we don't need these!"" The Mexican throws out 5 cases of burritos and says, ""We have a lot of burritos in Mexico so we don't need these!"" The American grabs the Mexican and throws him out. The German asks why he threw the Mexican out. And the Amer…

My girlfriend needs an abortion.... And Mexico is gonna pay for it.

What will be written on the gates of Donald Trump's wall between Mexico and the US? Arbeit macht Frei.

A man walked into a cafe in Mexico... ""Hello!"" he says to a squeamish waiter. ""Do you have any Mexican Jews?"" ""Hmm... let me check in the back"" the waiter replied. That's when the condom broke.

What do you do if your lawnmower stops working? Deport him back to Mexico

The obligatory ""cattle guard"" joke for the next president Stolen from [Snopes](http://www.snopes.com/politics/humor/cattleguards.asp) For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the ""guards,"" probably because they fear getting their…

The only way that Mexico will build and pay for the wall... ..is after Trump runs the economy into the ground and Mexico has to keep the illegal job-seeking Americans out.

Donald Trump and a Mexican find a genie's lamp They rub the lamp and the genie that appears tells them they can have three wishes, two for the person who found the lamp and one for his companion. Trump, of course, claims that he found the lamp and proceeds to make his wishes. Trump: First, I want all Mexicans kicked out of the United States. Every single one. Genie: It is done. Trump: And secondly, I want a wall all the way around the United States. 200 feet tall and made of concrete. On the bor…

Trump's first 30 days in office Day 1: ISIS surrenders, admitting America is just too great now to fight Day 2 Global warming stops Day 3: Mexico volunteers to build the wall using illegal Mexican refugee child as labor Day 4: Solves Israeli Palestinian conflict by moving Palestinian to Indian reservations Day 5: Replaces Obamacare with a terrific new system Day 6: Announce unemployment is now 0% Day 7: Rest Day 8: Has meeting with God to discuss the whole Muslin issue Day 9: Announced the last …

Remember when... ... the General Motors jobs were in Flint, and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico. And now...

Why doesn't mexico have an olympic team? ...because everyone who can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border

An American anthropology professor is lecturing on how to recognize the dominant features of a culture. ""It's quite simple,"" she says. ""Just look for the things to which, or for which, people make great sacrifices. In medieval Italy, look at how much money the people gave to the Catholic Church in their devotion to Jesus and the Virgin Mary. In pre-Columbian Mexico, look at the sacifice of humans on the Aztec altars of their gods. Even in modern India, look at the outrageous burdens placed on…

The state of New Mexico.. When they named the state of New Mexico were they degrading the state or honoring Mexico? it seemed funnier when I first said it. is this how it always happens?

The Panther's defense is so impenetrable... That Trump wants Mexico to pay their salary

""The Four Businessmen"" Four businessmen walk onto a train: one from China, one from France, one from Mexico, and one from the United States. They all sit together in a room with an open window and begin unpacking their lunches. The Frenchman eats half of his croissant and tosses the remainder of it out the window. The others ask ""Why did you do that?"" And the Frenchman says ""I have enough of those where I come from."" The Chinaman eats half of an eggroll and tosses the remainder of it out t…

Bird pokemon must live in mexico because today a local pointed at me and said pinche joto. (The j has an h sound dummy)

What if Superman landed in Mexico instead of Kansas? He'd be an illegal alien.

Trump, King Salman and El Chapo Donald Trump, King Salman and El Chapo meet on top of the trump tower in Chicago to brag to each other how rich they are. King Salman brought a barrel with him and Trump was afraid he was going to make it explode, so he asks: ""What are you going to do with that?"". The King answers: ""This is a barrel of oil, I have enough of it in my country anyway, when I throuw this off the building, I wouldn't even miss it."" So he throws his barrel of oil off the building. T…

Communist rally In Cuba the communist leaders decide to have a rally to boost moral. So they invite all the people of Havana to the center square of town. One of the party leaders steps up to the podium to declare ""Great people of Cuba with everyones hard work we have produced enough sugar cane that we struck a trade agreement and most of it we will trade for lumber from Mexico."" The crowd cheered and some of the people began to say lumber that's great we can start to build new homes, schools …

What do you call three cars overtaking you in Mexico? Tres-passers.

An American, a Brit and a Mexican are on a plane The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: ""We have so much tea in England we can just throw them out!"". The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining ""We have so many peppers in Mexico, we can just throw them out!"". The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the plane. ""Why did you do that?!"" exclaimed the Brit. The American turned around. ""He killed my wife.""

What do you call horse hay from Mexico Jose

I bet you didn't know... I bet you didn't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's Mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank. The peo…