#mexico

The Panhandlers Jose and Carlos are panhandlers. They panhandle in different areas of town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3 dollars every day. Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend. Carlos says to Jose "I work just as long and hard as you do, but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?" Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say"? Carlos sign…

Jose visits America. Jose came to America from Mexico and wanted to go a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience. "What happened?" asked his family. "Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the …

REQUEST: Racist "White" jokes, please. I know DOZENS of Racist Jokes. But only a couple (not very good) Racist White Jokes. For example: Did you hear about the 2 house fire in Mexico? Thousands died. Why do Mexican's drive low-riders? So they can pick strawberries from their car. A man walks into a Bar with a Parrot on his shoulder. The Bartender says: "Wow, that's awesome! Where can I get one?" The Parrot Replies: "Africa! There's millions of them!" Seriously though: I love Black People. …

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says no. The doctor says: - There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs. The doctor says: - What's so funny? She answers: -I'm imagining how they make condoms.

An American businessman . . . . . . travels to Mexico on a company-paid trip for a little R&R. One of the nights he and his co-workers hit the local bar, where he order the tilapa fish tacos, and the man swears these are the best tacos he's ever had in his life. He gets an idea and demands to see the chef, who turns out to be a middle-aged local with no understanding of English. While one of his friends translates, the businessman explains his idea. "These tacos are the best I've ever had. You…

Today is the day Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the car…

Happy May Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was …

A Texan, Donald Trump, and a New Mexican are walking along when they stumble upon a gold lamp... They all immediately grab for it, and each get a hand on it. As they each struggle to take it from the other two, a genie pops out. The genie says, "You have woken me from my slumber, and I shall give you three wishes. Since you each have a hand on the lamp, you will get one wish a piece." The Donald Trump goes first. He says, "I want all the Mexicans permanently out of the United States and back…

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy find a genie A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy find a genie in a bottle. The genie asks each of them what they wish for. The mexican says, "My wish is for all my mexicans in America to be back in Mexico, drinking beer on the beach!" Poof, his wish is granted. The black guy says, "my wish is for my fellow Africans living in America to all be transported back to Africa where we can be happy and safe!" Poof, his wish is also granted. The genie turns to…

Three Men Are Walking On A Beach A white guy, a black guy, and a mexican are all walking along a beach when they stumble across a magic lamp. The men agree that each of them get one wish before rubbing the lamp. The black guy rubs the lamp and out pops a genie and asks the famous three wish line. The black man wishes for all black people to have a wonderful life in Africa as they do in America. The genie snaps his fingers and all the African Americans ship off to Africa. The Mexican guy…

Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics? Because every mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

Mexico was pretty livid when Donald Trump announced his plan to build a wall along the southern border of the United States... ...But once it's erected and complete, I'm sure they'll manage to get over it.

Who's Going to Pay For the Wall? Mexico Mexic Mexi Mex Me

Did you know Johnny Cash really loved salsa? Few people know that before he was famous, the late Johnny Cash tried a chip full of salsa served backstage in Possumneck, Mississippi that changed his life. It was spicy and tangy and smoky and so good that he just couldn't get it off of his mind. Unfortunately, there was no jar, no label. Now, there have been rumors that Johnny had kind of an addictive personality. He would sometimes disappear for days on end. People attributed it to drugs or alco…

Mayonnaise Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was …

Why didn't Jesus play hockey? Because soccer is more popular in Mexico

Little known fact about the Titanic. In 1912, Hellman's Mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment to be delivered to Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the ill fated ships next port of call after it's stop in New York City. This would have been the single largest shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we all know, it went down in the North Atlantic with the mighty ship. The Mexican people loved Mayonnaise so much and t…

What`s the difference between a tea cup and a peecup? A tea cup is a kind of cup they drink out of in England. A peecup is a kind of truck they drive in Mexico.

Steve dies and goes to Heaven, where St Peter informs him that he'll have to share apartment with someone else. "You see, it's getting a bit crowded up here", St Peter explains. "What kind of roommate will I get?" Steve asks. "A gentleman from 14th century Mexico." "Medieval Mexico?!" Steve exclaims. "But I'm from 21st century Britain! We'll have nothing in common!" "I'm sure you'll find something to talk about if you try", says St Peter. So Steve is shown to his heavenly home and is intro…

The trip to ... hell? To celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary, John and his wife are planning a trip to Mexico. Everything should be perfect. John leaves a few days earlier to get everything ready. At night he writes an email to his wife, but enters a wrong address and the message ends up at the widow of a recently deceased priest instead. The next morning, the widow's son finds his mother passed out in front of her computer. It says: "My dearest wife, I have just arrived. E…

Mexico Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. “You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico.” The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at wor…

Inflation in the US is so bad right now that… - My friend received a predeclined credit card in the mail. - CEO's are now playing miniature golf. - Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. - McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. - Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. - Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. - A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico. - A picture is now only worth 200 words. - The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas …

A man named Jose has just moved from Mexico to the US and he wants to do something very American so he decides to go to a baseball game.

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can jump

My uncle in Mexico is pretty upset about Trump's border wall... But he'll get over it.