#mexico

That's one. As a child my grandfather would tell me story of his great great grandfather's Ignacio crossing the desert in Mexico. He and his wife rode in a covered wagon pulled by donkeys. A few hours into the journey one of the donkeys tripped, and he said, ""That's one."" Few hours go by and the donkey trips again, and he says, ""That's two."" Hours go by and again the donkey trips. Ignacio says ""That's three."" He pulls out his gun, shoots, and kills the donkey. At this point his wife starts…

Which Warner Brothers character asks a lot of questions down in Mexico? *Porque* Pig (Came to me a few minutes ago. Search revealed a similar joke was made [here](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/36ae8e/what_do_you_call_a_questionable_porcine/) last week. I ger-ga-ga-ger-guess ger-ga-ga-great minds think alike.)

Mother adopts Mexican twins A mother and her husband adopted two twins from Mexico. Their names were Juan and Jamal. They lived a happy good life until the boys grew up to be 18 and decided to move out. After they moved away the husband heard the wife crying and he asked what was wrong. She said ""My two babies just left for the first time and one said he would never visit again"" the husband is completely shocked so asks what one will visit the wife says ""Juan will visit"" ""oh that's a relief…

John Smith started the day early having set his alarmclock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am .. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG) He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA) After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIW…

A mexican, a black guy, and a white guy... There are three guys. One spik, one nigger and one white guy. They walk along the beach, they see this pot, they rub it, genie comes out. Genie says, you know, ""You wish for anything you want."" So, he asks the spik what he wants, and he goes, uh, uh, ""I want, uh, all my people in America to be happy and free and in Mexico."" And so, genie - Poof! And, all of them are in Mexico. And then he asks the nigger- ""What do you want?"" And he goes, um, uh, "…

A man was going for a holiday to Acapulco, Mexico... But since he does not speak any Spanish, he is a bit worried if he will be alright. He talks to an old friend about his worries and the friend tells him ""Don't worry! Spanish is not so hard to speak. Many words are similar to english, so if you just speak slowly enough, I'm sure they will understand."" Assured, the man goes on holiday and arrives at his hotel. He goes up to the reception desk and the clerk greets him: ""Hola, senor."" The man…

An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: ""We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining ""We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. ""Why did you do that?!"" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. ""He killed my wife.""

The father's code On his deathbed, the father gave his son a piece of paper, Ben quickly grab the paper and reads it. ""3.70 =13.20"" exclaimed the young man, ""what is this father?"", knowing that his father spends his time discovering the secrets on earth, he quickly assume that this is a code of his last discovery. After his father dies, Ben spent most of his life solving the equation. He becomes a great mathemathician, historian and a well-known archeologist but in spite of his success in li…

Today is Cinco de Mayo For me Cinco de Mayo is truly a day to celebrate. Few people have come to know the ""true"" story of the origin of Cinco de Mayo. It is my pleasure to set the record straight. A little known fact is that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have…

Since a lot of people think Cinco de Mayo is commemorating Mexican Independence... Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the ""Titanic"" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City. Mexicans were crazy about the stuff. The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate(""desperados"") at the loss.…

Have you heard about the new Orphanage they're building in Baja Cali, Mexico? They're calling it 'No Mames'

A White, Mexican, and a African American find a gene lamp... They all rub the lamp, the gene appears and says ""you each get one wish"" ; all three men begin thinking and the Mexican goes first and says ""I wish for all my people to be happy and free back in Mexico"" and then poof all the Mexicans are back in Mexico. Then the African American decides to go second and he wishes ""for all his people to be happy and free back in Africa"" then poof they're all back in Africa. Finally it's the white …

Why doesn't Mexico have any good athletes? Because anybody who can run, jump, and swim is already in America

A black man, a mexican, and a white man find a magic lamp Naturally, a genie comes out. The genie gives each of them one wish, starting with the black man. He tells the genie ""Genie, my people all miss Africa and would like to go back and see it one time. I wish all my people in America were back in Africa."" And then the genie sent all the blacks to Africa. The Mexican says ""Genie, I feel the same. My people miss their families and the cooking from Mexico, so I wish all of my people in Americ…

Why doesn't Mexico live up to it's full potential in the Olympics? Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in America.

Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the olympic games? All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America.

I met my grandmother in Mexico She looked familia.

There was a four-car reck in Mexico today... 93 people died

Mexican Olympic Team Why doesn't Mexico send a team to the Summer Olympics? Because all the one that can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.

TIFU by crashing my car into a shop X-post from r/tifu Okay, so a little backstory. I'm a bit of an entrepreneur, and recently moved down to Mexico after purchasing a chain of 5 convenience stores (TAB, if you ever wanna look us up. I promise we're good) up near the Texas border, all pretty much aligned on this one stretch of almost entirely empty road near the suburbs, miles from any other shop, and the only place the factory workers will go. My drive from our home takes me round a blind corner…

When he was writing Gravity's Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon lived alone in a tiny motel room in a border town in Mexico, the only decoration a small statue of a pig on his barren, scarred desk. I guess you might say he was Pynchon pennies.

how to perform artificial insemination in mexico about 10 guys jack off onto the floor, and then they let the flies do the rest.

New air jordans What do you call the new air jordans in mexico The air juan 11sd

How to play ""Future You"" FUTURE YOU How to play ""Future You"" (You'll have to be over 25 to play this game) Go to a play park, or a fair ground or a school or anywhere you might find children. Find a child who looks enough like you. Go up to that child when they're alone and say ""I am you from the future, those people are not your parents, I'm sorry but your real parents were dead long ago... Now listen carefully, you need to become me. Become the super spy the world needs! You have to get t…

Bungee Jumping Two guys in America are bungee jumping on a bridge, they meet at the top and say, ""hey this is fun, I bet you they never heard about this in Mexico."" A few months go by and the two have set up a bungee jumping business, ready to start testing it out. There is a big crowd at the bottom of the bridge, all are curious. One of them puts on the bungee gear and the other stays at the top to catch him. The guys testing jumps and comes back up with a few bruises, the guy at the top fail…