#mexico

The chief of a tribe in Mexico dies. His son is now the chief. Since he never learned the ways of his forefathers to predict winters, when he gets asked what should the tribe do, he just tells them to collect firewood. He then goes to the National Weather Station in Mexico and asks them how bad winter is going to be. They tell him; ""It looks like it will be pretty bad"". Shocked, he goes back to his tribe and tells them to gather more firewood. He goes back to the weather station and asks them …

How do you find the richest man in Mexico Throw a penny and see who catches it

2 cars had a head-on collision in Mexico today.. 34 people died.

A black guy, a Jew, a Mexican, and a racist white Southerner are waiting at a bus stop... ...when all of a sudden a genie comes along. He says, ""Well, we've got some time before the bus comes so why don't I grant you all one wish."" So the Jew pipes up and says, ""My one true wish is that all of my people be able to live in peace together in Israel."" The genie snaps his fingers, and BAM! Done. Next the Mexican says, ""Really I wish that all of my people can live in prosperity in Mexico."" Agai…

Large tsunami hits Mexico - 300k were killed... ...Canada sends money, Brazilia sends food, USA sends 300k mexicans.

On the Mexican side of the US-Mexico border, there are guards. On the US side, there are trampolines.

A tourist travels through Mexico... and is looking for an authentic experience, so he seeks to buy a donkey to ride on from a small village. He finds a local man with an ass and says ""I'd like to buy your donkey for 50 bucks"". The local replies, ""Cincuenta dolares?! But he no look too good"". ""Looks fine to me"" says the gringo and pays the 50 and takes off. After five minutes on the donkey the American becomes helpless to the animal constantly falling over and running in the wrong direction…

Conservatives keep telling me to find Jesus How am I supposed to find him if they want him sent back to mexico and want a wall to keep him out?

How come there are no Olympics in Mexico? Because all of the Mexicans that can run jump and swim are already in America.

Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.

What is the difference between a 14 year old boy in the U.S. and one in Mexico? A 14 year old boy in the U.S. is a freshman and one in Mexico is a senor

Viva la A Frenchman, a Mexican, and a Texan are sitting on a bridge drinking their drinks of choice. Suddenly the Frenchman throws his bottle of wine into the air and shoots it yelling, ""viva la France!"" The Mexican follows his example and throws his bottle of Tequila up and shoots it yelling, ""viva la Mexico"" the Texan looks at the other two then looks at his bottle on Tennessee whiskey and sets is down on the bridge. The Texan then grabs the Mexican and throws him of the bridge and shoots …

What borders on silly? Mexico & Canada

There were these firefighters in Mexico that were all at the station when they receive a call. Sure enough, there's a fire at this restaurant a few blocks down. The men scramble around and try to gather everything to head to the scene. Juan calls out to Miguel, ""Don't forget Jose. We left Jose behind the last two times."" ""Alright alright,"" replies Miguel. The firefighters arrive at the scene and the restaurant is up in flames. ""Miguel, we're going to need Jose for this! Grab Jose"" ""I coul…

A laptop made in the United States is a portable device. A laptop made in Mexico is a deportable device.

The Mexican Magician There was once a famous magician in Mexico lets call him Juan, Juan wanted to move to the U.S. but didn't have the money so he tried to sneak in. While he was climbing the fence he was spotted by the border patrol, so he hid. They told him he had until the count of Three to surrender, But Juan didn't come out of hiding so the Border Patrol counted Uno..... Dos....... *poof* He disappeared without a Tres

Jesus walks into a bar The barman looks up and asks ""We don't serve wine here"" Jesus looks at him quizzically and goes to look for a Spanish translator because he had just immigrated from Mexico and English was not his first language.

A man finds a genies lamp He rubs it and out comes a genie The genie says that he will grant the man one wish The man says'I want a wall to be built along Mexico to keep the Mexicans out' The genie says no thats too expensive The man says fine we'll just put fencing The genie still doesn't agree Then the man says 'Fine, we'll make Mexico pay for the wall.......

A competition between France, England, and Mexico There was to be a contest between 3 countries to see who has the largest gorilla. France was up first, so the Prime Minister went up to the podium and told the audience, ""Our Gorilla is so big, when it raises its arms, he can touch airplanes in the sky. The crowd amazed, thinking no country could top that, was ready to hear England. The Prime Minister of England said, ""Our gorilla is so enormous, that when he raises his arms, he can touch the p…

9-1-1 Parody of ""Jingle Bells"" Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis Over the hills we go, crashing into trees! The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead, I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh! 9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead! Rudolph took a .44 and shot him in the head, oh! Barbie Doll, Barbie Doll, tried to save his life, But G.I. Joe from Mexico stabbed him with a knife!

Trump, Pena Nieto and Putin come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. ""I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total,"" says the Genie. Pena Nieto, the President of Mexico says, ""I was a miner, my dad was a miner, and my son will also mine. I want the land to be forever filled with minerals and oil in Mexico."" With a blink of the Genies eye, ""FOOM,"" the land in Mexico was forever filled to the brink with rare resources. Trump was amazed, but he already made up his mind, "…

What kind of trees watch kids in Mexico? Baby cedar

The US asked Mexico how many illegal immigrants got into America each year... Mexico said- ""Not Juan""

Mexican Drug Cartel There was a man who went by the name of Juan, who lived in Mexico with his 14 brother and his 12 sisters. Juan was involved in some pretty shady stuff, he was a distributed of product for a local gang. One day, there was a big argument between the leader and Juan, later, Juan came home he saw that all of his brothers and sisters had been slaughtered. He vowed to avenge them. Years passed and Juan finally reached his goal of becoming and undercover cop, now all he had to do wa…

Why doesn't Mexico have a good Olympic team? Because everyone who is good at running, jumping, and swimming have already made it into the U.S.