#mexico

Lightbulbs How many Socialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? *One, as long as it's someone else's bulb.* How many Libertarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? *None, the invisible hand of the market will screw it in.* How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? *We're pretty sure lightbulbs are just a ploy to make us give light to those people too lazy to get a job and buy their own damn bulbs.* How many Democrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? *Don't worry, w…

Why does Mexico always do so poorly in the olympics? Anyone who could run, swim or jump made it to the USA.

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, ""I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."" They throw the switch and …

An American, a French, and a Mexican are on a plane The American places his hand outside of the plane and exclaims,""We are in America!"". The others, confused, ask him how he knows this. ""I felt the Statue of Liberty."", he replies. Later, the French yells,"" We are in France!"". The American and the Mexican, perplexed, ask him how he knows. ""I touched the Eiffel Tower."" A while later, the Mexican says,""We are in Mexico"", a little annoyed. The others ask him what he felt. ""Nothing, but th…

Why is Donald Trump so intent on building a wall with Mexico? To stop the workers at his construction site from running back!

The donkey gift. Steve is not a bright man but has the best of intentions. He vacations to Mexico where he loses his passport, and get stuck in Mexico for a few months waiting to get his papers cleared up. A nice Mexican family takes him in and provides for him. When he hears the US embassy has cleared things up and he can go home the next day, he goes into town and buys a donkey and a bucket of tar. On the way back he sees a freshly cut field. He stops and begins covering the donkey in the tar.…

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy find a genie in a bottle. The genie asks each of them what they wish for. The mexican says, ""My wish is for all my mexicans in America to be back in Mexico, drinking beer on the beach!"" Poof, his wish is granted. The black guy says, ""my wish is for my fellow Africans living in America to all be transported back to Africa where we can be happy and safe!"" Poof, his wish is also granted. The genie turns to the white guy and asks him what his wish is. ""We…

Why hasn't Mexico got an Olympic team? Because the ones who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S

The quickest way to immigrate to America... Is on a one way ticket to Mexico.

A Mexican, a Black Man, and a Redneck... They're walking down the road when they stumble across a genie lamp. They agree to split the wishes equally. They rub the lamp, and the genie comes out. ""I am prepared to give 3 wishes, and 3 wishes only..."" The genie says. ""So who's going first?"" The black man shouts, ""ME! I AM! ME!"" The genie says; ""Okay, what would you like?"" The black man says; ""I want me and all my people back in Africa, the cradle of civilisation, where we can live in peace…

Mexico is starting to build a wall They're worried about the Americans crossing the border when Trump is elected.

I love the smell of blown out matches... Chile vs Mexico was a real treat!

Did you hear Mexico agreed to help Donald Trump build his wall? They've gotta keep all those Americans out once Donald gets elected. Sorry, super liberal grandpa told me this one on Father's day. Couldn't help but share.

What would you call Jesus if he was born in Mexico? The Chosen Juan.

Why is school in Mexico a lot harder? Because they have a lot of ese's

Loooong, but maybe worth it. A woman is pregnant in her teens...finally gives birth to two healthy twin boys. She's young, and destitute, and knows she can't take care of them or provide for them, and after a bit of soul searching she makes the heartbreaking decision to give the two boys up for adoption. Over the years she kept track of the twins; one was adopted by a well-to-do family in Dubai. They named him Amahl; they own an exporting conglomerate and her son would never want for anything, a…

What do you call a Mexican child? An paragraph, because he's not a full ese yet. How do you count all the people in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street Who's the richest person in Mexico? The person who picks the penny up

Donald Trump wants to build a wall between USA and Mexico... It's okay, we have tunnels.

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the states.

Happy Cinco De Mayo For me Sinko de Mayo is truly a day to celebrate. Few people have come to know the ""true"" story of the origin of Sinko de Mayo. It is my pleasure to set the record straight. A little known fact is that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have be…

If Trump wins, why should you move to Mexico instead of Canada? Because there'll be an actual wall keeping you from Trump

A tall Mexican is riding his bike across the border when stopped by border patrol... The officer stopped him asked him a few questions. Officer: Are you smuggling anything into the country? Tall Mexican: Ches. The officer searched him and did not find any cheese. After a few more questions the tall Mexican was bussed back to Mexico. The next week the same thing happened. Officer: Are you smuggling anything into the country? Tall Mexican: Ches. Again the officer did not find any cheese, drugs, or…

I made a joke at the US-Mexico border jajajajajajahahahaha

Three Mexicans named Juan arrive at the border and see the sign ""**No Trespassing**"". Very disappointed, they don't know what to do. Violating the sign will mean trouble later on with law; they could be deported back to Mexico. Having spent so much time and effort, going back at this point is also not a good option. They stand there scratching their head for hours, but nothing comes. Then there was a fellow among them who was quick witted. He said: no problem, let us all form a line and go Jua…

A reporter asked Donald Trump ""What is your greatest weakness?"" ""You see that is the problem with america. They always ask me what is America's weakness? Believe me, I will make america not weak again. I will make america great. Believe me. We dont have to think about weakness. China is weak. Mexico is weak. But we are not weak, we are strong. Trust me. Im not a politician. Politicians are liars. Im not a liar. You see america is weak right now because these politicians make america weak. But…