Donald Trump says he'll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she'll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people.

Donald Trump is basically the villain in every anime so I assume he'll be defeated by a 13-year-old boy in short pants

Donald Trump is like the "Scream" movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror.

Don't worry, Donald Trump will declare bankruptcy and start a new country.

i just woke up from a 9 year coma! hope to god The Apprentice is off TV...nothing i hate more than that Donald Trump

I'm no different than the average working guy. I have two arms, two legs and 4.2 billion dollars. ~ Donald Trump

If Donald Trump becomes president, we could finally out-crazy North Korea.

Donald Trump always looks like he's just opened a really hot oven.

what if donald trump has secretly been banksy the entire time

Wow, busy day for Donald Trump. Tomorrow he'll probably ban dogs from homes, end Star Wars, put spiders in every shower and outlaw dreaming.

The celebrity couple name for Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton is Clump.

Donald Trump was born when someone put a pinkie ring in a bag of Cheetos and left it in a lightning storm.

Breaking News: Reliable sources reveal that Donald Trump is actually Cthulu. The absurd hairdo isn't absurd at all. It hides the tentacles.

I automatically write off anything Donald Trump says because someone with that much money has no excuse for that hair.

If Donald Trump becomes president all the immigrants nd their cultures gunna leave nd white people gunna be stuck with their nasty ass food

Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone.

Hillary: if we aren't careful donald trump could be our next president. Let that sink in Clinton Aide: *opens door* Sink: sorry i'm late

Donald Trump is one of those people you would never let be the banker in a Monopoly game

Real sentence from a press release in my inbox: "Donald Trump lives, works, eats and employs people of all races and religions."

WIFE: there's a bear outside our tent ME: so W: so scare him off M: *unzips door* Donald Trump might become president *bear jumps into fire*

80% of being Donald Trump is just worrying that the wind will blow your weird combover in the wrong direction.

Y'all are gonna lose your minds when Donald Trump eats a Snickers and turns into Bernie Sanders.

Kelly Ayotte says "Donald Trump is absolutely a role model for kids." She's right, kids don't pay taxes either.

Donald Trump has Muslim friends, Rick Santorum has gay friends, Ted Cruz has imaginary friends. #GOPDebate

I feel like Donald Trump and Bill Clinton have a $1 bet that Trump can make Hillary president and Bill can make her not president.