UN Survey Last month, the UN conducted a global survey: # "Please give us your honest opinion about a solution to the Food Shortages in the Rest of the World." ​ The poll turned out, not unexpectedly, to be a huge flop. Why? ​ \-In Africa, participants didn't know what 'food' was. \-Russia didn't know what 'honest' meant. \-Western Europe did not know the word 'Shortage '. \-The Chinese did not know what 'opinion' was. \-The Middle East asked what 'solution' meant. \-So

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Dapple's Car Accident Once upon a frosty Canadian winter, there lived a man named Dapple. Dapple was a proud Canuck, born and raised in the heart of the Great White North. He loved the snow, the maple syrup, and of course, ice hockey. But one fateful day, his life took an unexpected turn. Dapple was driving through the snow-covered streets of Toronto when a moose, yes, a moose, darted out onto the road. In a panic, Dapple swerved his car and ended up in a spectacular collision with a snowpl

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There are four people in an airplane. They are as follows: \- The pilot (Obviously) \- The president of the USA \- The world's smartest man \- A student from a local school. ​ Suddenly, an alarm sounds. The pilot runs into the passenger cabin and says: "I don't want to alarm you, but there seems to be a problem with the engine. We're all going down!" The passengers and the pilot need to evacuate, but there's a problem: There are only three parachutes in the plane. One person has

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The Memory Man An Englishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the mountains of Nevada. He was chatting to the barman when he spotted an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” asked the man. “That’s the Memory Man.” said the barman. “He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go and try him out.” So the man goes over, and thinking he won’t know about English football, asks “Who won the 1980 FA Cup

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A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: ‘Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure. In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant; in India they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant; in Europe they didn’t know what ‘shortage’ meant; in China they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant; in the Middle East they didn’t know what ‘solution’ meant; in South America they didn’t kn

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A British spy goes undercover in America and tries to infiltrate the political ranks. To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam. Examiner: When did the USA gain independence? Spy: July 4, 1776 \- Good. How many continents are there? \- Easy peasy, seven. \- Damn, you're good. Which continent is Turkey in? \- Technically, Turkey is in two continents; Asia and Europe, since some parts of- \*gets cut off\* \-Woah, you know your geography. Let's do some history now.

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An Englishman goes on a hunting tour of the Americas. He first stops in Canada, where he shoots a large male grizzly bear In order to ease the transportion of his trophy, the Englishman cuts the bear into pieces, seperating the legs, the arms and head from the torso. He then continues his tour southward crossing the border into the USA. At the border a customs agent checks his belongings. "Sir," says the agent "You appear to have a bear's head, legs and torso among your posessions, which are

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