#florida

New sales job! A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota." Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got thr…

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter... They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with the wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. Howev…

Two old ladies sitting in a doctor's office in Florida... The one says to the other, "I can't see, I can't hear anything and I can barely walk. Thank God I can still drive."

Two drunks Two drunks were drinking on the roof of their trailer late one night in Texas. The first drunk looks up at the night sky and says to the other "The moon is so big, I been wonderin... Whad'ya think is closer, the Moon, or Florida?" The second drunk gives his friend an amused look. "You can't be serious.." He slurs The first drunk looks back at his friend in confused anticipation "Well?" he asks. The second drunk then rolls his eyes and laughs. "Well.. Think about it. Can you see Fl…

Best Salesman Ever! A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The young guy says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota." Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got thr…

Mama's Bible Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers. One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to Florida . The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mama." The second said, "And I had a large theater built in the house." The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth said, "You know how Mam…

The Ultimate Computer The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer Company's production line. One day, a guided school tour arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo. "This," he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it. Would anyone like to try?" Little Johnny quickly stepped forward and asked, "Where is my father?" There was the soft hum of powerful electronic gear going to the task. Pane…

A Young guy from Nebraska A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How …

A 17-year-old boy, who works part-time at Pizza Hut, pulls up to his house in a stunning Porsche. His parents are immediately suspicious, knowing there's no way his after-school job could have paid for such an expensive car. "Where did you get that car?" they shout, astonished. "I bought it today," the boy replies calmly. "With what money?" his mom demands. "We know how much a Porsche costs, and there's no way you can afford it!" The boy shrugs. "It’s used, and I got a great deal. I only pai…

A 17 year old Pizza Hut worker parks a stunning Porsche in front of his house... “Where did you get that car?” his parents exclaim in shock. “I bought it today,” the teen responds calmly. “With what money?” his mother demands. “We know how much a Porsche costs, and there’s no way you could afford it!” “Well, it’s used, and I got a great deal,” the boy explains. “I only paid 20 dollars for it.” “Who would sell a car like that for 20 dollars?!” “The lady up the street,” …

An old blues musician visits a beach in Florida. He comes across a man building the most beautiful musical instruments with the sand. Guitars, violins, cellos, all exquisitely detailed. The blues musician says to him "Make me a harp". So the guy builds him one with a tall, beautiful piller, an incredible soundboard and 47 strings, all impossibly made from sand. "No, no! You misunderstood. A *mouth* harp!" says the blues musician. "Oh, you'll need to go to California for that" "What do you m…

Donald and Melania live in the same house in Florida, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Donald wishes that all the other people in Florida were hot women. Melania looks disgusted, thinks for a minute and wishes for a motor cycle helmet. Donald's second wish is that everyone in the neighboring states were hot women too. Melania smiles and wishes for a motorcycle. Donald’s final wish is that all the other people in the cou…

The Rabbi’s Final Lesson One afternoon, a synagogue’s Senior Rabbi invited the Assistant Rabbi in for a chat. “Nu? As you know, 53 years I’ve led this Holy Congregation. Next week, I’ll retiring. Before I move to Florida and you never hear from me again, do you have any last questions? Are there any great words of wisdom or final lessons that I can impart on you?” The Assistant Rabbi squirmed in his seat nervously before answering. “Um, yeah. It’s kinda embarrassing but there’s one thing.…

A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up to park in front of the house in a beautiful Porsche. Naturally, his parents know that there’s no way he earned enough with his after-school job to buy such a car. “Where did you get that car?” his mom and dad screamed in shock. “I bought it today,” replied the teen calmly. “With what money young man?” his mom demands. “We know how much a Porsche costs and you cannot afford it!” “Well, it’s used and I got a good deal” says the boy, …

Two blondes are walking and one asks, “ which is closer, the moon or Florida?” And the other responds, “duh... ... can you see Florida ?

Salesman of The Year Award. A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss ca…

After Trump’s NFT announcement… He was called a charlatan. He denied it, saying he lives in Florida.

Two blondes are sitting out looking at the night sky "What's closer," said one blonde to the other "the moon or Florida?" "The moon! Can you see Florida!?"

Hooters Two men grow up together as friends. After college, one moves to Ohio, and the other moves to Colorado. They agree to meet every 10 years in Florida to play some golf and catch up with each other. At age 35 they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch. One asks, "Where do you want to go?" The other replies, "Hooters." "Why Hooters?" "They have waitresses with beautiful bosoms, tight shorts, and pretty legs." "Sounds great." At age 45, they meet and play …

Grandma is eighty-eight and drives her own car... She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy i…

Following the advice of his doctor, Mr. Johnson moved to Florida. When he arrived in his new Florida home, Mr. Johnson met his next door neighbour. His new neighbor was a man around his age, but he had a full head of hair and appeared to be very strong. "Hello," Mr. Johnson said to his new neighbour. "Is Florida as healthy as my doctor says it is?" "Let me tell you something," said the neighbour. "When I first arrived here, I was completely bald, and I was so weak that I had to be lifted out …

What’s the difference between Florida and the Lost City of Atlantis? A few hours.

What’s considered trashy if you’re poor but class if you’re rich? Florida

In 1959, the Florida panhandle was hit with a devastating hurricane... In 1959, the Florida panhandle was hit with a devastating hurricane. Many of the buildings and homes in Destin were damaged. The "Gulfarium", which had opened a few years earlier, was largely undamaged. Their diesel generators were meant for the numerous fish and marine mammals, but could easily handle a larger load. So a tent city was set up in their parking lot for displaced families. A fish supplier in Pensacola was asked…

A couple of counterfeiters made a mistake one time and ended up with a batch of $15 bills One of them says "We gotta get rid of these things. We'll go to Florida. I know a little town there. They're so dumb they won't know a thing." So off they go. Soon they arrive at a gas station and buy some gas. The guy at the counter looks a little simpleminded. "Hey can you break a 15 dollar bill for me," one of them says. "Oh, sure, no problem," the cashier says. The counterfeiters grin at each other…