#nebraska

I'd like to personally invite Conan to bring his entire show to Nebraska. We can work out details later.

I was going to post that I'm in Nebraska but Foursquare didn't have the location "Someone shoot me in the face" listed.

A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big ""everything under one roof"" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, ""Do you have any sales experience?"" The kid says, ""Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha."" Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. ""You start tomorrow."" I'll come down after we close and see how you did."" His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. ""How many customers bo…

How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin? She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* ""I'm out...""

Why does all the corn in Iowa lean West? Because Nebraska sucks!

A man walks into a bar and orders a double Nebraska. The bartender turns around and says ""Sorry, we don't have *NE*.""

A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help I'm doing my part!

My wife is Mexican Being married to a Latina is like living in Nebraska. One minute it's hot, one minute it's cold, and you know if it goes back and forth too quickly you are in for one hell of a storm!

Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how... An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Missing a few buttons on his remote control…

Years ago Nebraskans got tired of leaning into the wind having their top soil blown away and chickens laying their eggs two and three times. Seems the wind continually came down from Canada and there was nothing between Canada and Nebraska to stop it. The farmers all got together and decided to build a fence across the North Border of the State of Nebraska. . . . the idea being to stop that cold wind. It might've worked too. The barbed wire they used was strong enough .but the real problem was…

Three college football coaches were flying across the country when their airplane crashed and all three died. They all noticed God up in the clouds sitting in a chair. God motioned for one of them to come into the clouds. God wanted to know three things: ""Who are you? What did you do? What did people think of you?"" The first coach said ""I'm Joe Paterno. I coached Penn State from 1966 to 2000. I won 300 games 19 bowl victories 2 national championships and won Coach of the Year 4 times. The …

What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? ""Nowledge.""

A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help He heard we have a lot of experts in re-posting

A New Yorker, a Nebraskan, a Georgian, and a Floridian were driving to Vegas... After a few hours in the car, the Nebraskan suddenly rolls down his window, opens his bag, and starts chucking corn out the window. "What are you doing that for?", the others exclaim. "Back in Nebraska, everywhere I look I see corn. I'm going on vacation and I don't want to see any corn for a couple weeks." The Georgian replies, "you know what? You're right; I'm sick of seeing peaches all over Georgia. I don't kn…

A Young guy from Nebraska A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How …

Nebraska joke You'll only get it if you've ever had to drive across Nebraska... So, Gen Custer and Major Reno are at the Battle of the Little Bighorn and Reno turns to Custer and says, "General I have good news and bad news." Custer says, "hmmm give me the bad news first" Reno replies, "we have 2000 Indians led by Chief Crazy Horse that are going to massacre every one of us and chop our remains into little bits." Custer: "That is bad; what's the good news?" Reno: "We won't have to cross …

Salesman of The Year Award. A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss ca…

True Story Yesterday would have been my stepfather Tom's 75th birthday. To commemorate the occasion, I give you this story. Back in 2006, I was prepping to relocate from Nebraska back to Southern California, and this meant lots of phone calls between me and my mother. One Friday evening, I called her up, and I could hear some background noise. I asked where she was... Mom: Oh, Tom and I are at El Pollo Loco. We're getting some fish tacos for dinner. (It was Lent - Ed.) Me: Y'know, I've alway…

Did you know Nebraska has the highest level of depression and extra-marital activity? It's a sad state of affairs.

(LONG) A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida .. ..and goes to a big ""everything under one roof"" department store looking for a job. The Manager says

A Young guy from Nebraska A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big ""everything under one roof"" department store looking for a job.

A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big ""everything under one roof"" department store looking for a job.

A guy from Nebraska goes to New York for the first time. He's so excited

Why did the animal shelter relocate to Nebraska? Why did the animal shelter relocate to Nebraska? So they could make corn dogs.

Why did the animal shelter relocate to Nebraska? So they could make corn dogs.