#florida

New sales job! A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big ""everything

The good salesman A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big ""everything under one roof"" department store looking for a job.

I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger. It was good

Ron an elderly man in Florida...

So I just heard there is a disease killing off the Alligator population in Florida. They all got Gatorades.

George, are you high?","No mom. The smell is incense, my eyes are red from browsing reddit for hours and I'm just keeping that unicorn here until Tim comes back from Florida.

George, are you high? No mom. The smell is incense, my eyes are red from browsing reddit for hours, and I'm just keeping that unicorn here until Tim comes back from Florida.

What do you call Central Florida? The DMZ. Disney Militarized Zone.

How Can You Tell It's Fall In Florida? When the color of the license plates start to change.

What do a Florida hurricane, a Kansas tornado, and an Arkansas divorce have in common? Some poor sap's gonna lose a trailer.

Sarah Palin's chief adviser burst excitedly into her office one morning. "Governor," he beamed. "Some great news at last. Have you seen today's newspapers?" "I saw that there was a sale on at Bloomingdale's." "No, even better than that. According to a new post-election survey, people want you to run for President in 2012." The news was music to her ears. She stood up proudly and announced: "You mean I am the chosen one, the woman of the people? You say that thousands of Republicans have been ple…

Florida I just had to fly down to Florida. But it was half business, half pleasure. I had to put my mother in a nursing home. Dave Attell You Know You're From Florida When . . . The four seasons are: almost summer, summer, not summer but still hot, and February. You're on first-name terms with the hurricane lists. You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites. Most of your neighbours are so old they referred to John McCain as "young man". You have a drawer full of bathing…

A local florist just went out of business, but it was his own fault. He kept getting his orders mixed up. One woman received flowers sent by her husband, who was at a business meeting in Florida. She was perplexed by the message on her card: "Our deepest sympathy." But she was not nearly as surprised as the woman whose husband had just passed away. Her card read, "Hotter here than I expected. Too bad you didn't come too."

Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building -- a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says,"Sophie, you know I'm shy. Why don't you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely." Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says, "Excuse me, mister. I hope I'm not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely." "O…

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida old age home. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening, there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?” After some ‘careful consideration,’ she answered, “Yes, I will.” The meal ended and …

A flea had oiled up his little flea legs and his little flea arms, had spread out his blanket, and was proceeding to soak up the Miami sun when who should stumble by on the beach but an old flea friend of his. "Oscar, what happened to you?", asked the flea, because Oscar looked terrible, wrapped up in a blanket, his nose running, his eyes red, and his teeth chattering. "I got a ride down here in some guy's mustache and he came down here by motorcycle. I nearly froze my nuts off," wheezed Oscar. …

A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" "That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight!"

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had told their new wives what their household duties were to be. The first man had married a woman from Tennessee. He bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done. The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning…

Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida. As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying, “Disney World Left!” After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said “Oh well!” and started driving back home.