#fridge

Want To Mess With Someone? Mail Them Pickles Step 1: You decide to anonymously mail a pickle to any rabble rouser of your choice. Step 2: Click ""Buy Now"" (using Paypal), and fill in the billing address of your victim. Step 3: The Wizard puts a pickle in an envelope with a handwritten, mystifying message and sends it off. Each package comes with a pickle, a picture of a pickle dressed as a wizard, the handwritten note. If you want your own custom note, write it in the comments section of Paypal…

How do you put elephant in the fridge? - Answer is open the door and just put the elephant in the fridge.

My last roommate was vegan This happened two years ago. We were having a bbq before a game and he prepared some veggie burgers and I made some meat burgers. He mushed his veggie burgers up real good and it actually looked like meat after we cooked them. We put the leftovers in the fridge and went to the game. When we got back I was a little bit drunk and was hungry so I opened the fridge and grabbed what I thought was the left over meat burgers. It was a mis steak.

Three men are walking to the gates of heaven together. They had a long walk ahead of them, so they decided to discuss the ways the had died. The first man began, ""Well, I was cleaning the windows outside the apartment building I work at when, all of the sudden, the mechanism holding me up snapped! Luckily I caught hold of a window ledge, but then I felt two hard stomps smash both my hands of the ledge. Thankfully I wasn't too high up because I managed to hit the ground without any serious injur…

Food and Country Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food. I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece. Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour. I found Iraq of pork chops but there was Norway I could eat them all. The Romanian ingredients where some Belize pepper and a Canada best soup I could ever find. Can you Bolivia it? I Cyprus the urge of buying some Fiji Water. I H…

Three men walk up to the gates of heaven together. They had a long walk ahead of them, so they decided to discuss the ways the had died. The first man began, ""Well, I was cleaning the windows outside the apartment building I work at when, all of the sudden, the mechanism holding me up snapped! Luckily I caught hold of a window ledge, but then I felt two hard stomps smash both my hands of the ledge. Thankfully I wasn't too high up because I managed to hit the ground without any serious injuries.…

My fridge should be called Kraft... cos it's full of sliced singles, individually wrapped in plastic.

What's blue and white, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A fridge with a denim jacket on.

What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? The fridge don't fart when you pull meat out of it.

I love long romantic walks... ...to the fridge.

Jerry (Man pukes in plastic bag) Man:I made breakfast, let's put it in the fridge (Puts it in toilet tank) Man:Time for bed (Crawls in to tub)

Recently reconciled with my brother after a long conflict. I apologised for slashing his tires, and he regretted breaking some of my home appliances. But hey, it's all water under the fridge now.

What's the difference between a baby and a fridge? The fridge doesn't cry when you put your meat in it

My roommate's accidental joke My roommate is Indian, so every week his mother would bring him some Indian food. This time we chowed down on chicken curry, but left a good amount of [naan](http://www.culinaryadventuresinthekitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/naan4.jpg) in the fridge. My roommate then said ""I will tell my mother to bring more curry because we've got naan (none)."" After I reminded him of this ""witty"" joke he has made, we all facepalmed.

The Parrot Joke. !Okay, so, this single fellow in his mid forties has a parrot. He just recently acquired his new feathered friend at the local aviary. However recently the creature has been acting strange. It swears endlessly all day. The man does not swear around the bird and can't understand where it picked up such fowl speech. After a party hosted at his house gets ruined by the birds filthy mouth the man has had enough! After his friends leave the man picks the bird up and yells ""why are y…

What happens when you put an elephant in the fridge? Dad asks little Johnny ""I don't know dad"" responds a perplexed Johnny. ""It gets cold"" Dad responds with a smirk. Little Johnny looks annoyed and tries to protest but is hit with the next question ""What happens when you put a giraffe in the fridge?"" Johnny tries to think knowing what a troll of a dad he has. He shrugs and says ""It gets cold?"" ""No, you dumbo, How can you put the giraffe in the fridge while the elephant is still in there…

Bad days One day god was talking to st peter. ""We do not have enough souls in heaven. So from here on out if anyone was having a bad day before they died let them in"". St peter nodded before returning back to the gates. He sees the first person and asks about their day. It was horrible, I come home and i know my wife was cheating. I ran outside and saw the bastard hanging from the balcony rail. So i kick his fingers and watched him fall. He lived so picked up the fridge and threw it at him. In…

An old man visits the doctors office for his regular checkup The doctor asks him how things are going. The guy says ""Doc, things are great - in fact, I'd say miraculous! You know how I used to have trouble seeing, right? Well now, whenever I want to go to the bathroom, I open the door, and the light magically opens! And when I'm done, I close the door, and the light magically closes - it's amazing! I feel great - better than ever before!"" The doctor is impressed, but concerned, so once the guy…

How to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich You take what need. If you're hungry and need all the slices, take all the slices. The jam is in the fridge but the peanut butter is in the shelf on your left. No I mean counter table on your left. And if you need a spoon....... There are no spoons.

College Jesus Jesus opens the fridge, one of his roommates asks: ""is it wine yet"". Jesus says no it says 'still water'

Different Wavelengths The female brain works on a different tangent than male. Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about life. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her, ""Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state, I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive. I'd much rather die!"" My wife got up from the sofa with a real look of ad…

My all time favourite joke. Apologies to 99% of you. What's big and white and sits in a tree? A fridge. What's big and white and blue and sits in a tree? A fridge wearing jeans.

What's the difference between a gay guy and my refrigerator? My fridge doesn't shit on me when I pull my meat out of it!

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.... Gold

Two gallons of milk sat within a fridge One was spoiled and the other was chocolate. Where did the spoiled milk sit? On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit? In the back.