#fridge

Why do ghosts eat more sandwiches than bears? Because there's more sandwiches in your fridge. };)

Are you thirsty? ""Would you like something to drink?"" She opened the fridge. ""We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper --"" ""Spiders?"" ""Spiders it is, then."" ""No, that wasn't--"" But she was already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders.

Whats The Diffrence Between A Fridge And A Child The fridge Doesnt Care If You Stick You're Meat In It

I have the body of an eighteen year old I keep it in the fridge

TIFU: I ate my boss' sandwich out of the work fridge! Oops. Wrong sub.

What's the difference between a fridge and a woman? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out

Three men were standing in line waiting to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, ""Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"" So the first man replies: ""Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment…

Cake or Bed CAKE OR BED A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FINE, THEN THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DO…

Tarzan sat up a tree. + loads of elephant jokes. Tarzan sat up a tree, and suddenly a herd of elephants passed by. What did Tarzan say ? Tarzan: Oi look there is a herd off elephants! But there is more! Tarzan sat up a tree, and saw a herd of elephants passing by with sunglasses. What did Tarzan say? ..... Nothing , he did not recognize them. Speaking of elephants.... How do you, put a elephant in the fridge in 3 easy moves? Give up??? Easy, open the fridge, put the elephant in and close the fri…

My girlfriend and my refrigerator So after a long day at work I come home to an empty house. I proceed to the kitchen where I find a note from my girlfriend. "" this isn't working, I'm sorry but I just can't take it, I'm going yo go live with my mother"" But then I opened the fridge the light came on and the beer was cold. What the hell was she talking about?

Why did Mary fall of her swing? Because she had no arms. How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it inside. How do you put a giraffe on a fridge? Open the door, take the elephant out and put it inside. The lion king hosted a party, what animals missed it? The giraffe because it was stuck in the fridge and the elephant because it was sick at home. A man is crossing a river by its side known to be full of aligators and suddenly falls onto it. To his great surprise no alligato…

How does an elephant hide in a strawberry patch? - She paints her toenails red. I am collecting elephant jokes, particularly these absurd ones. If you know one please post it here. Here is another. How do you know if there are two elephants in you fridge? - The door won't close.

Heavens a bit full this week.... God calls St Peter to his office and tells him that heaven is getting pretty full today and that only people with unfair or horrible deaths can be allowed in. So, St Peter returns to the Pearly Gates, stands on his podium and he calls out ""all those that died an unfair or horrible death please form an orderly line here, the rest of you. Hell is through that door"" Peter then heads to the front of the queue and asks the man ""how did you die?"" The man replies ""…

I bought some Greek yogurt today It started asking all of the other food in my fridge for money

What's blue, white and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A fridge in a denim jacket.

I like my coffee like i like my women. Ground up and in the fridge.

Little Johnny's Teacher Gives the Class a Mother's Day Assignment They were studying the meaning of various phrases. The teacher goes on to explain the meaning of the sentence *""We only have one mother.""* Okay, Little Peter, give me a brief narration that includes the phrase *""we only have one mother.""* Little Peter starts: I was sick in bed with a high fever, and then comes my mom, gives me a glass of warm milk with some aspirin, kisses me in the forehead and I thought *""We only have one m…

Where do you find a dog with no legs? In the fridge where you left it! (No offense, just a joke!)

I figured out the solution to iceis We just kick them under the fridge.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him

You're like a magnet... Your fatass is always on the fridge.

There's an omelet in the fridge. I want it. However, I can't have it... It's eggspired.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

A few riddles. **How do you know if there's an elephant in a fridge, without opening the fridge?** His shoes are right outside. ----- **How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?** First you take the elephant out, then you put the giraffe in. ----- **Two of four engines of an aeroplane are on fire and it's quickly losing altitude. How do you regain altitude?** Simple. Just throw out the fridge. ----- **A man and a woman were having a date at a beach. Their date got over abruptly. Why?** The fridg…

The struggle Guy: goes to get a drink out of the fridge, can falls and hits him on the head. Friend: Dont worry man, it was a soft drink. :v