#fridge

Three engineers were trying to make smarthome devices (from a friend) Three engineers and a manager are sitting around some appliances to help make them smarthome compatible. The first engineer turns his attention to the refrigerator, ""We should connect this fridge to the internet and make it tell you when food is going bad, I will need an Intel i7 if we want this to constantly notify you."" the manager thought for a while and finally grumbled, ""ok, we could fit that into the budget"" The seco…

My wife's legs are like the peanut butter I left in the fridge. Won't spread.

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question? TEACHER: Yes! STUDENT: How do you put an elephant inside a fridge? TEACHER: I don't know. STUDENT: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question! TEACHER: Ok, ask. STUDENT: How to put a donkey inside the fridge? TEACHER: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. STUDENT: No sir, You just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in. TEACHER: Ooh...ok!! STUDENT: Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the …

Dude you're like my fridge... Super cool. (Best used when a friend is bragging about themselves)

Last night I thought I heard the spring onions singing Bee Gees songs in my fridge. When I opened the door I realised it was just the chives talking.

The Loop Of Bricks How do you get 500 bricks out of a plane? -Open the door and throw them all out! What three steps do you take to fit an Elephant in a fridge? -Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge! What four steps do you take to fit a Giraffe in a fridge? -Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge! The lion was holding a birthday party, and all the animals arrived but one. Which one? -The giraffe, it was still in the fridge! Sarah needs to cross a river infested by hun…

I like my women like I like my butter In a box, in a fridge.

I went to a witch... I went to a witch because I wanted relationship advice. The witch told me to get 3 ounces of garlic, 10 ounces of vinegar, and a Lamb. I asked if a sacrifice was required from me to remedy my relationship problems. The witch looked me straight in the eyes, laughed and said, ""Put that lamb in the fridge, you're gonna be eating alone for a very long time!""

Shlomo is upset... he's at services, practically tearing at his clothes in anguish, when the rabbi (noticing his pain) comes to him after and says ""Shlomo, everything is okay?"" With tears in his eyes, Shlomo turns to the rabbi and says ""Rebbe, you remember when my son Benjamin went to the holy land?"" ""Oh yes!"" says the rabbi. Then his face fell. ""Something happen to him? Is he okay?"" ""No, rabbi, no. But he comes back from the trip, and he tells me he is a Christian now!"" The rabbi puts…

Reddit is a lot like my fridge. I check it constantly, even though I know nothing has changed.

Two Chefs get in an argument, And they split the kitchen right down the middle. One Chef has the oven and fridge on his side, and the other has the freezer, a spice rack, and a microwave on his. So the first Chef looks at the other and says ""What are you gonna do? You can't cook anything in a microwave, you're finished."" The second Chef looks over and tells him ""I have thyme on my side.""

A bunch of scientists got together one day for a barbecue... ...and were cooking up sausages, but they were one short. They looked in the cooler, the fridge, everywhere they could think to look, but science still has yet to find the missing link.

Man opens a fridge and sees a rabbit... He says ""What are you doing there, rabbit?"" Rabbit replies ""This is a westinghouse, isn't it?""

Whats big and white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A fridge.

A bunch of bad jokes. Why does a man carry a brick with him in a plane? To throw it out. How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You open the door and put the elephant in. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You open the door, get the elephant out and put the giraffe in the fridge. How do you die by doing nothing? By getting hit with the brick from the first joke.

""What's on the inside is what counts..."" My sister, while opening the fridge.

In our fridge there is condensed milk, evaporated milk, vanilla and eggs. So I put a sticker on it saying, ""Warning: Highly Flannable.""

If a woman ever charges you with a knife in the kitchen, remain calm and open the fridge. Take out mayonnaise, cheese, and ham. Natural instincts will kick in and she will make you a sandwich instead.

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used. It is through this entrance that they find a secret passage way, one that is made at first to look like a dead end but is truly a turn in the hallway. They venture around this turn a…

Walked past the fridge today and heard some onions singing the Bee Gees... ...turns out it was just some Ch-ch-ch-chivvveesss talking.

Why Does The Bride Wear White? So That The Dishwasher Matches The Fridge.

There was a piece of cake in the fridge with a note on it that said, ""Don't eat me."" Now there's an empty plate and a note, ""I don't take orders from a cake.""

My fridge exploded. . . And there are pieces of de-brie everywhere.

Why is the fridge shaking so much? It's running just fine. Probrably because it's so turned on!

Two guys show up in heaven at the same time... Two guys show up in Heaven at the same time. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy tells him that he died of a heart attack. ""How did that happen?"" asks the first guy. ""Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife with another man. But when I searched the house, I couldn't find anybody. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot."" ""Geez,"" says the fir…