#shlomo

Shlomo is upset... he's at services, practically tearing at his clothes in anguish, when the rabbi (noticing his pain) comes to him after and says ""Shlomo, everything is okay?"" With tears in his eyes, Shlomo turns to the rabbi and says ""Rebbe, you remember when my son Benjamin went to the holy land?"" ""Oh yes!"" says the rabbi. Then his face fell. ""Something happen to him? Is he okay?"" ""No, rabbi, no. But he comes back from the trip, and he tells me he is a Christian now!"" The rabbi puts…

One of my favorite somewhat inappropriate jokes. Moish walks sees Shlomo sitting by himself in a bar, drink in hand. He walks over, puts a hand on Shlomo's shoulder and says ""I'm so sorry to hear about the fire in your factory."" Shlomo gives Moish an angry look and says quietly ""Shhh you idiot! That's on Thursday!""

baptism in a nutshell So a jewish guy name shlomo wants to become christian, so he goes to the local church and asks the priest there to make him christian. so the priest starts ipping his head in the holy water and says ""your name is not shlomo it is john."" and he repeats it a bunch of times, and finally says ""you are now a christian."" ok, all fine and dandy. it's the week of easter, and ""john"" sees he cant have any meat. so he goes to the shop looking for fish instead, but doesnt find an…

A Curious Mathematical Problem Some time ago, while I was out shopping for flowers in preparation for Shavuot, a peculiar incident occurred. While correcting a stranger on a trivial matter, he produced a scrap of paper and scribbled down a simple multiplication problem. Handing it to me, and providing a few additional instructions, his actions piqued my curiosity so I complied. However, even after working out the problem with a pencil, I could not seem to grasp any meaning in the numbers that w…

A Jewish man calls the newspaper to publish an obituary notice for her wife Shlomo: Hello

Why does it take so long to play Israeli sports? Because all the replays are in shlomo.