#second-friend

Cannibalism Jungle 3 friends are walking in the jungle, they come across these 3 cannibals. The cannibals are in the way and say if the jungle people want to pass, they have to shove 10 types of fruit up there butt, if they don't they eat them. The friends agree and go out to grab there fruits. The first friend comes back with 10 apples, he gets 5 up his butt, but fails to finish and gets eaten. The Second friend comes back with 10 blueberry, gets 8 up his butt, but fails to finish because he st…

An old multi-billionaire is lying on his deathbed... And he calls his 3 best friends into the room.   ""Now look,"" he says, ""I know I won't be alive much longer, and you know I love my money. I want to prove to my family that you CAN take it with you when you go. So, to keep them from getting their greedy mitts on my money, I'm giving each of you one billion dollars of my money to keep in trust until my funeral, at which time you will place the money in my casket before they close it.…

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used. It is through this entrance that they find a secret passage way, one that is made at first to look like a dead end but is truly a turn in the hallway. They venture around this turn a…

I met up with two friends of mine. One of them asked me what did I do yesterday, and I said I watched Rashomon. But the second friend had a different story.

Three close friends were getting on in their years. They had done all sorts of crazy things over their decades together - alligator wrestling, running with the bulls, base jumping... you name it, they've been through it. At this point in their lives, each of their respective families has decided to put them into nursing homes. Seeing as how they won't have any more opportunity, they decide to have one last crazy evening, and play Russian roulette. The first friend brings the loaded gun, and anno…

Three friends have to go to the bathroom Three friends were eating at a restaurant. Suddenly all three of them have to go to the bathroom. They ask a waitress where the bathroom is and she says ""Oh, we have three brand new toilets! One is made of steel, one is made of wood, and one sings. They're right over there!"" The three friends pick one toilet at random, do their business, pay and leave. The next day the friends are at the restaurant again and one friend says ""If you guys have to go to t…

The tale of three friends There were once three friends who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the friends reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across.. However, these friends were learned in the magical arts, and so the first friend waved his broken wand and made a potato. You see, that friend was kind of stupid. So the nerdy girl, after correcting her friend on the good way cast the spell, took out her wand with attitude and made a b…

Three friends are having lunch in a cafe when... ...a couple walks into an abandoned building across the street, and they come out with a child. The first friend, a biologist, notes, ""They've reproduced."" The second friend, a statistician, remarks, ""No, don't you get it? There's 2.5 people going each way."" The third friend, a mathematician, corrects, ""You're both silly. It's blindingly simple! If someone walks in now, the building will be empty.""

Three friends were programming... The first friend said ""Hey, i'm going to Apple's dev conference."" The second friend said to the third friend ""Are you going to Apple's dev conference with him?"" and the third friend said ""Yeah, Algorithm.""

Three friends were on a deserted island... ...when they found a brass lamp. One of them rubbed the lamp, and a genie appeared. ""You have freed me, and for that I can grant you each one wish."" The first friend was really hungry, so he asked the genie to send him to an iHop. The genie snapped his fingers, and he was sent there. The second friend missed his family, so he asked the genie to send him back. The genie snapped his fingers, and the man was sent home. The third friend was quiet. The gen…

Recently marries man walking down the street A man, recently married, was walking down the street and runs into his friend. ""Hey man! How you been?"" asks the friends. The man tells his friend that he recently married to the girl of his dreams, the one. Happy to hear the good news the friend asks ""What's her name?"", ""Mary"" replied the man. Looking surprised his friend goes ""That slut?"" Thinking his wife was mistaken for another woman the man continues walking and encounters another friend…

A mathematician's party.. A mathematician one day decides he wants to have a party. He isn't very popular though and neither are his friends. He wants girls at his party but he doesnt know any so he thinks up an ingenious fail-proof plan to get girls to come & make his party one for the ages. He askes his first friend to bring -1 girl, his friend happily obliges. He then askes the second friend to bring -4 girls, he too is happy to accomodate. The mathematician's friends arrive at the party,…

Two men were out camping in the mountains... They had spent four days together and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, ""You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south. Then tonight we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire."" The second friend agrees and hikes south. That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. ""Today I hiked int…

a boy decided to tell a joke .... a little boy decided to tell a joke to his friends. he wonders how they will react. he goes to the first friend. ""hey jim!"" says the boy. ""what do you call a black pirate?"" ""i don't know."" says jim. ""a NIIG- AAAAAAR!!!!"" says the boy. he goes up to the second friend, and the same thing happens over and over. then he goes to the last friend, sara beth. ""sara beth!"" says the boy. ""what do you call a black pirate?"" sara beth looks at him and says "" a p…

Yet Another Bar Joke Three friends walk into a bar. After a round, the first of the group speaks up. "I would like to reveal to you that I am actually a wizard!" The second friend said, "Good gravy, I am a sorceror too!" The third wasn't anyone magical, but felt pressured to say that he was. The first man said, "Let's have a contest, let's try to make this bar rise into the air!" The first magician caused the bar to rise to the height of a tall mountain. The second said, "Pft, that's nothing," …

Three friends are lost in the woods... As they try to find their way out, they chance upon a beautiful house and farm. Puzzled by this house in the middle of nowhere, they decide to look inside one of the windows to see if they can get any idea of what's going on. Upon looking in, they see an old man with his eighteen young, beautiful daughters. They decide that it is at least nothing paranormal, and decide to ask for shelter for the night. So they knock on the door. Almost immediately, it open…

Three friends die and go to heaven... When they get to the gate saint peter says, "Hi, welcome to heaven. You're going to have a great time. We only have one rule in heaven, and that is to never, ever, no matter what, step on a duck." "Ducks?" "Yes, if you do, you will receive a terrible punishment. You may enter." So the friends enter heaven, and much to their suprise, there are ducks everywhere. Every square yard there were probably 2 ducks. The first friend takes the warning lightly and …

I think my wife is having an affair with a horse. Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.” His second friend says, “I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.” Paddy says, “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both his friends …

Bob dies and his 3 close friends meet at a bar. They meet to discuss what to do with Bob's ashes. The first friend says "Bob and I used to hike a lot so I think we should scatter his ashes in the mountains." The second friend says "Well Bob and I used to spend weekends fishing. I think we should put the ashes in his favourite lake." Finally his third friend says "What you guys didn't know is that Bob and I were gay lovers. I want to take Bob's ashes and put them into my homemade chilli so I…

Two men want to get drunk... But only have 10 dollars on them. The first guy turns to his friend and says, "I have an idea! Let's go to the deli and buy a salami." The friend is confused but goes along with the plan. They head to the deli, buy the salami and finally head to the bar. They start drinking beer after beer and before they can pay their tab the first guy places the salami between his legs and says, "Here, suck on the salami and they'll kick us out before we even pay!" The friend comp…

joke Two friends were walking by when they saw a poster with a joke on it. It said "Are you cold at the moment? Come to the corner, it's 90 degrees." "Wow," said the first friend. "That's acute joke." "Eh, not really." said the second friend. "Actually it's all right."

Three childhood friends sign up for the army And it's their first day, time for assignments. The drill Sergeant asks the first one. "WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?" "I like to go sailing!" he replied. "OK, YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF BOATS!" The second friend stood up for his turn, and was asked the same question. "I like to fly..." "OK YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF OUR PLANES!" The third friend came up and was once again asked what he liked to do. However, he had a stutter so all he could say was "I-…

Three friends found a Genie, and he offered them three wishes. "Three wishes each?" one of them asked. "No," the Genie replied. "Three wishes in total. You can decide how to split them, but it’s only three wishes. And you can’t wish for someone else, the wish has to be applied to yourself only." After some discussion, they all agreed that the fairest way to proceed was for each of them to make one wish. The first one wished to be immortal. The Genie nodded, but before granting the wish, the …

A man wakes up in a hospital bed right next to his friend. His friend says to him "We're currently drowning in debt because the doctors just cured your amnesia!" The friend then asks the other friend "Oh no! How are we going to ever pay the bills now?" The first friend then has an idea. "I know! Give me 100 dollars and I'll buy a bat, then I'll hit you on the head with it and we can claim your insurance." So the second friend gives the first friend 100 dollars and he leaves the room. After …

The Genie (sorry if this has been posted before) Three friends are stranded on a desert island. All they want is to go home, but no ships have passed by and they are quite alone in the middle of nowhere. One day, one of them digs a hole and, to his surprise, pulls out a lamp. "Maybe it's a magic lamp. Rub it and let's see if a genie appears!" one of the men shouts. The man who found it gently wipes the grit from the lamp and, to his astonishment, smoke pours from the spout to curl around their …