#adam

Women are like electrons Always trying to latch onto some Adam for a free ride

Adam says to Eve... ""I wear the plants in this relationship!""

How do you know adam and eve weren't black ? Ever try to take a rib from a nigger ?

Religion class One day in religion class the teacher asked the question ""what is God's sons name?"". Billy stabbed Sally with a thumb tack and sally jumped up and said ""Jesus!"". The teacher asked another question, ""who is the father?"" Billy stabbed sally again and Sally jumped up and said, ""God!"" The teacher asked another question, ""what did eve say to adam after they had their third baby?"" Sally jumped up and said, ""if you stick that thing in me again i will break it in half!""

At the beginning of time, God came to apologize to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden He told them, ""guys I am sorry to tell you I have almost run out of abilities I can grant my creations. The cheetah I gave speed, the chameleon got the ability to change it's color. After visiting all my creations, I now only have two gifts left to give away"" ""What are these?"", Adam asked. ""The first gift is the ability to pee while standing.."" ""I WANT THAT ONE!"", Adam screamed. The gift was granted and…

Three nuns die... Three nuns die in a horribly unfortunate communion accident, and appear together at the pearly gates. They begin to confidently stride in and St. Peter appears and holds up his hands ""One minute ladies, but due to a recent resurgence in faith, Heaven is rapidly filling up, so the Big Guy has instituted an entrance exam to control the numbers"" The nuns begin to vehemently protest ""I know, I know,"" says St Peter, ""you dedicated your lives to God, and are all unquestionably d…

How do we know God likes condoms? Because Adam was ribbed for Eve's pleasure

Ask Doggy and Friends! Doggy: Hello! Welcome to ""our"" Reddit! I'm Doggy, and I'm one of the hosts of this subreddit. I'm a dog... ...well, I'm a human with a canine name. I can talk to animals because I lived in the pound for a few years. And you can ask me stuff about me and the others, like Chase, Firefighter, Adam, and more. Oh, and of course, me.

Suzy is sleeping in Sunday school when... The teacher asks the class: Who created the heavens and the earth? Little boy behind Suzy pokes her with a pencil. ""Good God"", Suzy exclaimed. ""Very good Suzy. Now who can tell me who saved us from our sins?"" the teacher asked. Little Johnny pokes Suzy again. ""Jesus Christ!"" she shouts. ""Very good Suzy. I'm glad you're answering so strongly. Now, what did Eve day to Adam after their last child?"" the teacher asked hoping to stump her students. Lit…

Little april in Sunday school! Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and …

What was the first thing Eve said to Adam after eating the forbidden fruit? Does this fig leaf make my butt look big?

'God didn't create Adam and Winston', Says Tenn. Republican Does that mean Adam and Steve have broken up?!

Adam hates going out for a meal with God. He always steals his ribs.

After God created Adam... Adam had been in the Garden for a long time, he started to feel alone. So, Adam went to God and said, ""This Garden is amazing, but I'm starting to get a little lonely; is there anyone that you can send to keep me company?"" God answered, ""I have the perfect person. She will help you with almost everything. She'll clean, cook, wash your clothes, be your friend, and even rub your feet after a long day. She really is perfect in every way!"" Adam said, ""That sounds great…

Adam loves being on earth but he is a little lonely ""Dear God, I am so lonely."" God responds, ""Well, Adam, you're in luck. I've created another being that perfectly suits you. This being is kind, and will cater to your every need. If you are hungry, this being will prepare you a delicious meal. If you seek pleasure, this being will pleasure you until you are totally pacified."" Adam's eyes are wide. ""But there is a price. "" How much?, Adam asks. ""It costs an arm and a leg."" ""Eh.... what …

God finds Adam in the Garden of Eden.. God asks him, ""Where is Eve?"" ""She's down in the river."" said Adam ""WHAT?! Get her out of there! Do you have any idea how long will take me to get the smell off the fish?!""

A boy asks about the creation of humanity. ""Hey Dad, where did humans come from?"" Dad answers, ""Well, God created Adam and Eve, and from there came humanity."" Then the boy goes to his mom and asks, ""Hey Mom, where did humans come from?"" Mom answers, ""Well, we evolved from monkeys, and we eventually became the humans we are today."" The boy went back to his dad and said, ""You lied to me. You said that God created humans, but mom said that we came from apes and monkeys."" Dad replied, ""I …

Child have ask question that father and mother both have given wrong answer A child asked his father, ""How were people born?"" So his father said, ""Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."" The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, ""We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."" The child ran back to his father and said, ""You lied to me!"" His father replied, ""No, your mom was talking about he…

Three nuns die and end up at the gates of Heaven. St Peter says that before they can enter, they must first each answer a question. To the first he asks ""who were the first humans?"" She says ""Adam and Eve"" and he lets her in. To the second he asks ""where did they live?"" She says ""In the garden of Eden"" and she too is admitted. Then he asks the third, ""what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"" She replies ""My goodness that's a hard one"" - and he opens the gate and lets her in.

So God says to Adam in the garden of Eden... ...what's wrong my son? I'm very sad and lonely God, I wish I had a companion. So god says: I will make you the perfect companion; she will always be faithful, beautiful, will never get fat, will always be there for you, will never talk back to you and always obey you. Adam says: That's amazing God, sounds like the perfect companion. What's the catch? Son I will need one of you balls to make her. Adam thinks long and hard...after several minutes he as…

That's a hard one... On their way home from church, three little old women were in a horrible car crash. When they made it up to heaven St. Peter was waiting for them at the pearly gates. Before letting them in St. Peter told them that they hadn't lived the best life, as they had just recently started going to church to try and make up for it and told them that they had to answer a single question to get into heaven. St. Peter asked the first woman what was the name of the angel of death and she…

Another three nuns die in a car crash St. Peter confronts them at the gates of heaven. ""Sisters, welcome! You are devote, except for that bingo hall incident."" The sisters hold their heads low in silent acknowledgment. Peter continues, ""So, you must be held accountable for your transgression. I will give you a test of Bible knowledge, but because your lives were... mostly... guilt free, it will be an easy one."" The nuns nod in agreement. To the first, ""who was the first man?"" ""That's easy…

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary did…

Three nuns waiting to get into heaven.. So three Nuns await at the pearly white gates to get into heaven. St. Peter tells them that they must each answer one question each correctly before being allowed in. St. Peter: First nun, your question is, who was the first man on the planet? First Nun: Oh that's an easy one, Adam! St. Peter: That's correct you may enter! Second Nun, your question is, who was the first woman on the planet? Second Nun: Well that was Eve of course! St. Peter: That is correc…

Wake Mr Jones One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. ""Reverend,"" she said, ""I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"" ""I have an idea,"" said the minister. ""Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."" In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed of…