#adams

Watching CNN for news is like watching "Patch Adams" for medical advice.

Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding

A scientist who studies Adam's apples is called a guyneckologist.

If God really made Eve from Adam's rib bone. Then women are really men and we're all gay. Discuss.

"There's a horse in my leg?! Why are you taking out my Adam's Apple? What's wrong with my nose?"- Guy from 'Operation'

God: *making Eve from Adam's rib* Adam: That's a weird way to make people God: Lol wait till you see how she does it

Adam's new wife Adam had been in the garden of Eden for several years without someone to share his life with. One day, he asked God for a companion. God said to him, ""I can give you a wife that will be everything you could dream of. Humble and submissive, she will make your life nothing but pleasurable. However, to make her I'll need an arm and a leg."" Adam says, ""Aw what, that sucks! What can I get for a rib?""

Letter from Scout Camp Dear Mom, Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away.. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened. Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would have found Ada…

Adam's Rib Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, ""What is wrong with you?"" Adam said, ""Lord, I don't have anyone to talk to."" God said, ""Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a 'woman'. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will alwa…

The Garden of Eden [Poem] In the Garden of Eden, as everyone knows, Lives Adam and Eve without any clothes. In this garden were two little leaves. One covered Adam and one covered Eve. As the story goes on, never the less to say, Along came the wind and blew the leaves away. At the sight Adam did stare, There was Eve's treasure all covered with hair. And wonder came into Eve's eyes, As Adam's thing started to rise. They found a spot, which suited them best, A nice big tree where they began to re…

The oldest profession found There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they got to discussing which was the oldest profession. The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world. The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most ce…

Letter home from summer camp Dear Mum & Dad, Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened. Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great. We never would…

Who was the world's first carpenter? Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand.

Why do Christian figureheads not like science? Because it's about two Adams bonding.

Adam loves being on earth but he is a little lonely ""Dear God, I am so lonely."" God responds, ""Well, Adam, you're in luck. I've created another being that perfectly suits you. This being is kind, and will cater to your every need. If you are hungry, this being will prepare you a delicious meal. If you seek pleasure, this being will pleasure you until you are totally pacified."" Adam's eyes are wide. ""But there is a price. "" How much?, Adam asks. ""It costs an arm and a leg."" ""Eh.... what …

When The Pope talks about politicians working together Representatives of different professions in a Christian country were debating which profession is the oldest. The medical doctor said: What was the first thing that God did with humans? He performed an operation he made Eve with Adam's rib. The medical profession is the oldest.' No, that is not true,' the architect said. The first thing he did was to build the world out of chaos. That's what architects do creating order out of chaos. We ar…

The Oldest Profession A lawyer, engineer and physician are debating the oldest profession over drinks. ""Medicine is the oldest,"" declared the doctor, ""because in Genesis God surgically removed Adam's rib to create Eve."" ""That's true,"" agreed the Engineer sitting down her beer, ""but even earlier God created the universe out if chaos, and that's engineering."" ""And who"" asked the lawyer, casually knocking over the engineers drink, ""do you think created all the chaos?""

Who was the worlds first capenter? Eve, she made Adam's banana stand.

Q: who was the world's first carpenter? A: Eve, she made Adam's banana stand!

The Oldest Profession A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their arguments, they went all the way back to the Garden of Eden. The doctor said, ""The medical profession is clearly the oldest because Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was an incredible surgical feat."" The architect did not agree. He said, ""But if you look at the Garden itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out…

A computer scientist, a surgeon, and a civil engineer joke A computer scientist, a surgeon, and a civil engineer were gathered at the pub. The surgeon boasts, Surgery is the oldest technology in the world. It's in the Bible. God removed Adam's rib while he slept. This is clear evidence that surgery pre-dates all other technological endevors. Without so much as a beat, the civil engineer says that before that, God formed the Earth, the stars, and everything from nothing but chaos. He created rive…

The day before Rosh Hashanah... can be called adam's eve.

Adam and Eve Did you know Eve was the first carpenter? She made Adam's banana stand.

Little Adam wonders Little Adam asks his mother...""hey mom, is god man or a woman?"" Mother replies: ""God is both, man and woman"" A bit confused Adams wonders: ""ok, but is God black or white?"" Mother replies: ""God is both, black and white"" Adam responds: ""what is God then... Michael Jackson?""

Suite 103 **There is no TL;DR to this joke. You have to read the whole thing in order to fully comprehend the joke.** The scotch wasn't going down easily today, but that didn't make pouring some more any more difficult for Adam. The phone call he had received three days earlier kept replaying in his mind over and over again. She was out of town for a press conference. ""I can't not go, honey. I was the lead designer for the prototype. Who else is going to announce and describe its features?"" Ad…