#adam

Only is Adam and Eve were Chinese they would've probably ate the snake instead of the forbidden fruit.

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil. Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?' When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. 'God Almighty!' shouted Susie. The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.. A little later the Nun asked Su…

A little girl goes to her father... (long) ""Dad, where do we come from?"" The father replies, ""Well, a long time ago, God decided that he would create Adam, and then a wife for him Eve, to live here on earth. He allowed them to live here and have children and we come from them."" The girl, seemingly perplexed, then goes to her mother. ""Mom, where do we come from?"" The mother says, "" Well, I guess you're not too young for this, a long time ago, there were a species of apes that evolved over …

It is near the end of time, and Heaven is getting full... Three friends who die approach the gate to Heaven. God: Only those who can answer my questions correctly may enter. All three friends begin to feel anxious. God: Who was the first man on Earth? Friend 1: oh that's easy, Adam. And so the gates opened and allowed him in. God: who was the first woman on Earth? Friend 2: oh that's easy, Eve. And so the gates opened and allowed him in. Friend 3 is now feeling more confident seeing as these que…

There was a computer dating back to Adam and Eve.. It was an apple, and a very bad one at that. It only took one byte for everything to crash.

The Garden of Eden [Poem] In the Garden of Eden, as everyone knows, Lives Adam and Eve without any clothes. In this garden were two little leaves. One covered Adam and one covered Eve. As the story goes on, never the less to say, Along came the wind and blew the leaves away. At the sight Adam did stare, There was Eve's treasure all covered with hair. And wonder came into Eve's eyes, As Adam's thing started to rise. They found a spot, which suited them best, A nice big tree where they began to re…

A child asked his father, ""How were people born?"" So his father said, ""Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies,and so on."" The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, ""We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."" The child ran back to his father and said, ""You lied to me!"" His father replied, ""No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.""

Little Jhony, April and Teacher Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ""Tell me, April, who created the universe?"" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ""GOD ALMIGHTY!"" shouted April and the teacher said, ""Very good"" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, ""Who is our Lord and…

Three Nuns and Saint Peter Three little nuns were tragically killed in a car crash this past weekend. Being devout followers of the faith, their souls floated up to heaven. The three see the Pearly Gates and begin to approach the massive structure only to be stopped by Saint Peter. Saint Peter explains, ""The Boss set a new rule, in order to get into heaven, you must correctly answer a question relating to the Bible, or you will be banished to the flaming depths of hell for all eternity!"" The n…

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!

Three nuns die and go to the pearly gates St. Peter stops them at the gate. ""Okay, I know you're nuns, but you all must answer a biblical question before I allow you in."" He turns to the first nun. ""Who was the first man?"" She waves her hand. ""Ooh, thats an easy one. Adam!"" ""That's correct!"" Peter says, and then trumpets blare and the gates swing open. The first nun enters. The gates close. Peter turns to the 2nd nun. ""Who was the first woman?"" The 2nd nun waves her hand. ""Ooh, thats …

Adam and God discus women Adam says to God, ""God, why did you make women so soft?"" God says, ""So that you will like them."" Adam says, ""God, why did you make women so warm and cuddly?"" God says, ""So that you will like them. ""Adam says to God, ""But, God, why did you make them so stupid?"" God says, ""So that they will like you.""

What did Adam say when he broke up with Eve? I'm turning over a new leaf.

The first computer can be traced back as far as Adam and Eve It was an Apple with extremely limited memory: just one bite. Then everything crashed.

A boy and a girl were in church. The teacher was asking them questions. ""Who is the central figure of christianity?"" She asks. The boy poked the girl with a sharp pencil to be funny. ""Jesus Christ!"" The girl yelled. ""Very good. Now who who created life on earth?"" She asked. The boy poked her again. ""God!"" The girl yelled, even louder this time. ""Wow! You know your facts! But how about this one. What did Eve say to Adam after they had their 22nd baby?"" AGAIN, the boy poked her with the …

A boy pokes a girl with a pin at church The church priest asks the girl a question ""who is our lord and savior?"" *the boy stabs her with the pin* she yells ""JESUS CHRIST"" the priest says ""good good, who created us"" *the boy stabs her again* she yells ""GOD ALMIGHTY"" the priest says ""good good, now, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 42nd child?"" *he stabs her again* the girl screams ""IF YOU PUT THAT THING IN MY ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!"" The priest f…

Mr. Jones falls asleep in church. Mr. Jones keeps falling asleep in church, and Mrs. Jones is not to happy with this. So one day she makes an appointment with the pastor and sits down with him to discuss it. She says to him, ""pastor I am getting tired of Mr. Jones falling asleep during church there has got to be something we can do about it?"" The pastor thinks and replies ""yes I have an idea leave it up to me I will give you the signal and you take this hat pin and poke him when I give you th…

Adam is sitting in the Garden of Eden So Adam is sitting in the Garden of Eden and he says, ""God, I see that all of the other animals that you have created in this truly perfect world have a companion, a partner, someone to be with, share life with, and to love. Why is it that I am alone?"" God pauses for a moment, and says ""You know Adam, I'll work on that. Be patient, my son, I shall return to you in a week's time."" God labors for a week as only a being of such incredible omnipotence can la…

Once upon a time there was a tractor enthusiast named Adam. Adam absolutely adored tractors, drove them around his field and on the roads when it was quiet. He owned a huge variety and would occasionally enter them in shows. One day, Adam was getting ready to take one of his most prized tractors to an exhibition. In preparation for this he decided to give it an almighty clean. As he was cleaning the exhaust however, something malfunctioned and the tractor covered Adam in exhaust fumes. Adam was …

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve? Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!

In the Garden of Eden... In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore? A hole in it.

I wish I were Adam. For if I cracked a joke, nobody would say, ""I've heard that before.""

Adam saw a boy putting 2 flour beetles in a small box, pushing the beetles against each other... Adam: hey kid, what are you doing with the beetles? Kid: trying to get them to fight. Adam: why would you do that to them? Kid: to see which is the better of 2 weevils.

A young man went shopping for his girlfriend's birthday present... A young man went shopping for his girlfriend's birthday present in company with his girlfriend's sister. He chose an expensive pair of beige gloves and the sister bought a pair of white panties. Unfortunately in the process of wrapping, the gifts became mixed up with the result that the parcel from the boy contained the panties. Inside was a note, which read: Dear Alison, I chose these because I noticed you're not in the habit of…

Kid, ""Mom, Dad, I'm in love with a gopher from a funny animal video."" Parent, ""The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Allen! Allen! Allen! Steve!""