#first-nun

Two nuns are out riding their bicycles.. Two nuns are out in the countryside riding ow their bicycles. The first nun suggested that they take a shortcut. A few minutes later the second one says: ""I've never come this way before."" The first one replies: ""Oh, I guess it must be the cobblestones.""

One day there were four nuns in line for confessional. The first nun said, ""Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."" He asked how. She said ""I saw a man's private part."" He told her to wash her eyes with holy water. The second nun comes in and says, ""Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."" He asked how. ""I touched a man's private parts."" He told her to wash her hands in holy water. Then he heard the third and fourth nun fighting. He asked why they were fighting. The fourth nun said, ""I'm…

Three Nuns are walking down an alley after church. A man jumps out in a trench coat and exposes himself to them. The first Nun has a stroke. The second Nun has a stroke. But the third Nun doesn't touch him.

Three nuns die and go to heaven Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Peter says ""Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want."" The first nun says ""I want to be Sophia Loren"" and POOF she's gone. The second says ""I want to be Madonna"" and POOF she's gone. The third says ""I want to be Sara Pipalini."" St Peter looks perplexed. ""Who?"" asks St Peter ""Sara Pipa…

Three nuns sitting on a park bench ... ... A flasher comes up and opens his trench-coat in front of them, exposing himself completely. The first nun is horrified, she has a stroke, right there on the spot. The second nun is shocked, *she* has a stroke. The third nun was too offended to touch it.

Three nuns die and go to the pearly gates St. Peter stops them at the gate. ""Okay, I know you're nuns, but you all must answer a biblical question before I allow you in."" He turns to the first nun. ""Who was the first man?"" She waves her hand. ""Ooh, thats an easy one. Adam!"" ""That's correct!"" Peter says, and then trumpets blare and the gates swing open. The first nun enters. The gates close. Peter turns to the 2nd nun. ""Who was the first woman?"" The 2nd nun waves her hand. ""Ooh, thats …

Three nuns passed away and went up to Heaven. They were pleasantly surprised when Saint Peter informed them that in exchange for their many years of servitude and chastity, God Himself was going to bestow upon them each one wish... The first nun said with a blush, ""This is slightly embarrassing, but I have to admit, while I did love serving the Lord, the vow of chastity was really tough on me. May I return to Earth for a weekend of unbridled lust, with the face and body of Angelina Jolie?"" Sai…

Three nuns die and go to heaven, but all must answer one question to get in. The first nun is asked, ""Who was the first man on Earth?"" She says, ""Adam."" Lights flash and the pearly gates open. The second nun is asked, ""Who was the first woman on Earth?"" She says, ""Eve."" Lights flash and the gates open. The third nun is asked, ""What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"" Puzzled, the nun says, ""Oh my, that's a hard one."" Lights flash and the pearly gates open.

Two nuns are riding their bicycles to the Vatican First nun shouts to the other ""I've never come this way before!"" The second nun replies ""don't worry it's just the cobblestones.""

Four nuns die in a bus crash... ... they meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter welcomes the nuns. He tells them that, while he understands they devoted their lives to God, everyone is still given a chance to repent their last Sins, and gestures towards a fountain of Holy Water. The first nun pulls St. Peter aside, and says ""Forgive me, St. Peter, for I have sinned. I have gazed at the unholy parts of a man."" St. Peter is slightly taken back -- I mean, this is a nun for crying out loud!…

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench... Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.

Three Nuns die in a car crash, and find themselves at the pearly gates. St. Peter stops them, stating ""Ladies, I appreciate your position, but there's a new policy in place from upstairs. To enter unto Heaven, you must demonstrate some knowledge of The Bible."" He asks the first Nun. ""Who was the first man?"" ""Oh! Adam, of course!"" she replies. ""You're in."" To the second ""Who was the first woman?"" ""Eve!"" ""Yep, you're in."" To the third, ""What's the first thing that Eve said to Adam?"…

There are 2 nuns sitting in a bath tub... The first nun nods and says ""where's the soap"". The second nun pauses for a moment then replies with "" yes it does, doesn't it"". (If you get it well done your a champ!)

3 nuns die and go to heaven. They meet St. Peter at the golden gates. St. Peter said ""You each have to answer 1 question. If the answer is right you can enter heaven and if you answer wrong you go straight to hell."" He calls the first nun and asks ""Who did God make first?"" Very happily she answers ""Oooh that's an easy one. God made Adam"" Trumpets blast, the golden gates open and she walks in. Then St. Peter calls the second nun and asks ""Who did God make second?"" Very happily she answers…

3 nuns die in a bus crash St. Peter greets them in heaven, ""you've all lead exceptional lives resisting sin and serving the Lord. It's merely a formality, but I have to give you a short quiz before allowing you into heaven. I'll make it quick and easy."" To the first nun he asked, ""who was the first man?"" She answered, ""that's easy! Adam!"" The bells of heaven ring, the gates of heaven open, and she walks in. To the second, ""who was the first woman?"" ""That's easy! Eve!"" The bells of heav…

Two Nuns went out of their convent to do some grocery shopping They went around the town on their bicycles and had a ball of a time, since they don't usually get to roam about and the convent was soooo boring. So of course they lose track of time wandering around and exploring the town. >""Oh my! We've only ten minutes to get back!"" said the first nun. >""Follow me, I know a shortcut!"" replied the second. They whizz through a narrow alley here, and a narrow alley there, and true enough, …

Liquid Soap One morning two priests head to the showers. It isn't until they were already in the shower, that they realized they did not bring any soap. Father Bob decides he'll run back for the soap. Rather than get dressed, he peeks out into the hallway, and since no one is around, he decides to make a run for it. He gets the two bars of soap and checks the hall before heading back to the showers. All was clear, so he makes a break for it. Just as he turns the corner to the showers, he spots t…

Three nuns Three nuns were talking one day in their room. the first nun said ""did you see the rubber in Father Oharras dresser drawer?"" the second nun said ""yeah, i punched holes in it"". the third nun fainted.

Two nuns pass through a farmer's market... Walking past a fruit and vegetable stand, they stop and see a sign reading: *""Fresh cucumbers for sale.""* They asked how much the cucumbers were, to which the seller replies ""3 for 2 dollars"". The first nun accepts the offer. The second nun asks why they're purchasing three, when there's only two of them. The first answered back, ""Well, we could always eat the third one.""

3 nuns die and go to heaven. At the gates of heaven St. Peter greets them and tells them to stand in row for a short examination. To the first nun he tells. ""You have done nothing but good and served the lord well. However! You once gave a man a handjob. Not a big problem but sonce you were a nun, you were not allowed to. Here, come and wash your hands in the holy water and you will be clean to enter heaven."" Now suddenly the other nuns start to fight. Pushing and pulling happens. ""What are y…

Three nuns die... Three nuns die in a horribly unfortunate communion accident, and appear together at the pearly gates. They begin to confidently stride in and St. Peter appears and holds up his hands ""One minute ladies, but due to a recent resurgence in faith, Heaven is rapidly filling up, so the Big Guy has instituted an entrance exam to control the numbers"" The nuns begin to vehemently protest ""I know, I know,"" says St Peter, ""you dedicated your lives to God, and are all unquestionably d…

3 nuns go to heaven At the pearly gates St.Peter says ""before I let you in you most confess your sins. The first nun in line says ""I touched a man's shoulder"". St.Peter replies ""go over there to the holy water and wash your hands. Then you may go in"". The second nun starts to speak but the third nun pushes her out of the way. St.Peter asks ""why are you in such a hurry?"". The third nun replies ""I wanted to wash my mouth out before she sits in it"".

Three Nuns Get Quizzed In Heaven Three nuns die and go to heaven, but all must answer one question to get in. The first nun is asked, ""Who was the first man on Earth?"" She says, ""Adam."" Lights flash and the pearly gates open. The second nun is asked, ""Who was the first woman on Earth?"" She says, ""Eve."" Lights flash and the gates open. The third nun is asked, ""What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"" Puzzled, the nun is says, ""Hmmm, that's a hard one."" Lights flash and the pearly g…

Three nuns go to the Head Priest so they may confess their sins. The priest asks the first nun to share her sins. She replies, ""Well father, I have stayed out past curfew every night this past week. I am deeply sorry."" He replies, ""You are forgiven. Drink some holy water and pray a rosary, and God will absolve you of your sins."" Next, the second nun comes forward. She confesses: ""Father, I have been skipping the daily morning prayer in the chapel. I am also sorry."" He once again replies: "…

Three nuns waiting to get into heaven.. So three Nuns await at the pearly white gates to get into heaven. St. Peter tells them that they must each answer one question each correctly before being allowed in. St. Peter: First nun, your question is, who was the first man on the planet? First Nun: Oh that's an easy one, Adam! St. Peter: That's correct you may enter! Second Nun, your question is, who was the first woman on the planet? Second Nun: Well that was Eve of course! St. Peter: That is correc…