#first-nun

Four nuns die and appear at the pearly gates. Four nuns are in a car on a road trip but die in a car accident on the way. They arrive at the pearly gates in heaven, where St. Peter says "I'm sure you ladies were all good since you're nuns, but you still gotta confess your sins and come clean before I can let you in" as he takes out a bucket of water. St. Peter asks the first nun "what are you sins?" And the nun confesses that she gave a someone handjob once. "Which hand?" "My left hand" "…

Heard this at bible camp some years ago Three nuns are praying to God one day, and God actually answers back. He says "I'm going to ask each of you a question and if you answer correctly you will go to heaven." So he asks the first nun, "who was the first man on earth?" She thinks for a minute and answers, "Adam." Bells and chimes ring and she goes up to heaven. Then he asks the second nun, "who was the first woman on earth?" She thinks for minute and answers, "Eve." Bells and chimes ring and s…

Three Nuns cross the road... They get hit by a bus, die and go to heaven. They reach the pearly gates and St. Peter is there waiting for them. As they line up, St. Peter says "Right ladies, in order for you to get into heaven you must answer a question each." The Nuns nod and agree. St. Peter turns to the first Nun and asks "Who was the first man on earth?" the first nun replies "That's easy, Adam!" "Correct, collect your wings and halo and come on in" St. Peter turns to the second nun and a…

Nuns in heaven A large monastery burns down and all the nuns suddenly appear before St. Peter at the pearly gates. They form a line so they can be admitted one by one. The first nun approaches Peter and after giving her name, the Patron Saint asks one question "Sister have you ever broken your vow of celibacy or been impure in any way?" "No," she replies "although I did once accidentally see a young monk as he was changing his robes." "Very well" says Peter "wash your eyes with this holy water …

Marcus and Yacov, two Hasidic Jews, went to Pincus the tailor for new suits. "Pincus," Yacov said, "the last time we came to you for new suits, we told you we wanted black suits. The suits you made were not black. They were sort of dark grey maybe, but not black, We need new suits, and this time we want black suits, from the darkest cloth there is." Pincus reached behind for a bolt of cloth and he said, "See this cloth? It is from this fabric that I make the habits for nuns. In all the world,"…

Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a flasher revealed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun couldn't reach.

3 nuns are at the pearly gates... St Peter greets them saying "Sisters of the faith! I have some bad news. Due to the current state of the world, there is a lineup to get into heaven. But since you devoted your lives to the Lord, I have a special surprise for you! You all get to go back to Earth until we can get you in past the gates! And the best part is, because you lived a life of sacrifice and poverty, we will let you return as any famous or rich person you want! Isn't that great?!" He loo…

Two nuns were out walking in the woods When two thugs jumped out from behind a bush and started raping the nuns, the first nun started praying to God, asking him to forgive the men as they knew not what they were doing, the second nun turned to the first and told her, yours might not know what he is doing but mine sure does.

Three Nuns die and go to heaven. Three Nuns die and go to heaven, but in order to enter, they must prove their faith by answering one question each. The first nun was asked "Who was the first man on earth?" The nun replies "Obviously it was Adam" The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open. The first nun walks through. The second nun was asked "Who was the first woman on earth?" "Easy" says the second nun "It was Eve" The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open. The se…

3 nuns die and go to heaven 3 nuns die and go to heaven. They meet St. Peter at the golden gates. St. Peter said “You each have to answer 1 question. If the answer is right you can enter heaven and if you answer wrong you go straight to hell.” He calls the first nun and asks “Who did God make first?” Very happily she answers “Oooh that’s an easy one. God made Adam” Trumpets blast, the golden gates open and she walks in. Then St. Peter calls the second nun and asks “Who did God make second?”…

Three nuns are met by a flasher. So three nuns are walking together after morning services, when a pervert in a trenchcoat jumps out of some bushes and flashes them. The first nun, she had a stroke. The second nun also had a stroke. The third nun didn't touch him.

NSFW You're in..... Three Nuns at Pearly Gates. So three nuns simultaneously die and go to the gates of St. Peter. Whilst there, St. Peter approaches the nuns and says: "I'm sorry girls, but heaven's getting pretty full now. There's this new policy that I have to ask you guys a religious-trivia question before i can let you in". The nuns agree. So St. Peter approaches the first: "What was the name of the first Man?" The 1st nun rep…

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven... Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone and do anything you want." The first nun says, "I want-a to be Taylor Swift" and *poof!* she's gone. The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and *poof!* she's gone. The third says, "I want-a to be Alberto Pipalini." St. Peter looks perpl…

3 nuns 3 nuns die and go to heaven. St Peter meets them and the pearly gates of heaven. He says to the nuns “hello ladies, I know you have lived your lives with a complete devotion to god, but it’s mandatory that I ask you each a question before you can enter”. The nuns all look at each other and then in agreement, they nod their approval. St Peter asks the first nun “Who was the first man ?” “Adam” she replied. Lightning flashes, angels with great golden horns sound, the colors of hea…

Two Nuns (it’s my cake day!) Two nuns were in back of the convent smoking cigarettes, when one said 'It's bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the cigarette butts so that Mother Superior doesn't find them.' The second nun said, 'I've found a marvelous invention called the condom, which works really well for this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all late…

4 nuns died and went to heaven The angel infront of the gate asked the first nun "have you held a phallus" and the nun said "accidentally I touched the tip once" and the angel said "wash your finger tips in that basin of holy water and your sins would be cleared", the angel asked the 2nd nun the same question and the 2nd nun said "I once held one in my palm for a brief second" and the angel said "wash your palm in that basin of holywater and your sins will be cleared, the 4th nun came in rushi…

A bloke walks into a bar And there are two Nuns playing darts. He offers to do the scoring. The first Nun hits a treble twenty with her first and second darts and double twenty with her third. The man shouts out "One hundred and sixty." The second Nun goes to throw and hits a treble twenty, a single twenty and the third dart hits the wire and rebounds straight into the Nuns eye, killing her instantly! The bloke shouts out One Nun dead and eighty."

Three nuns die in a car crash They ascend to heaven and are met at the pearly gates by Saint Peter. “Before you can enter Heaven you must each answer a question to prove your piety.” He turns to the first nun and asks “How many commandments did God give to Moses?” The nun says “Oh, that’s easy, 10!” Ba Bada Bah! The trumpets blare and the pearly gate swings open. St Peter turns to the second nun, “Name the four evangelists.” “Ha, that’s simple, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John!” Ba Bada Bah! Th…

Three nuns die and come before St. Peter at the pearly gates. Peter welcomes them and says that they need to answer a biblical question to be admitted into Heaven. He says to the first nun, “Who was the first man?” The nun replies, “Why that would be Adam”. St Peter pushes a button and ding-ding-ding, the gates open and she goes in. Bong-bong-bong and the gates close. St. Peter says to the second nun, “Who was the first woman”. She answers, “I know, it was Eve”. St Peter pushes a button and din…

Two nuns were cleaning the church... The first nun says

Four nuns walk into a church to confess their sins to a priest They all line up single file. The first nun says

3 little old nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher flashes them the first nun has a stroke

Two nuns in an alleyway Two nuns were walking down an alleyway when a flasher jumps out. The first nun had a stroke but the second couldn't reach.

A Group of Nuns A group of nuns suddenly die and find themselves standing in front of St. Peter in Heaven. St. Peter says to the first nun

A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter. He asks the first nun