3 nuns are at the pearly gates... St Peter greets them saying "Sisters of the faith! I have some bad news. Due to the current state of the world, there is a lineup to get into heaven. But since you devoted your lives to the Lord, I have a special surprise for you! You all get to go back to Earth until we can get you in past the gates! And the best part is, because you lived a life of sacrifice and poverty, we will let you return as any famous or rich person you want! Isn't that great?!" He looks to the first nun, "Who would you like to be?" "I want to be Madonna, in 1987. She could really dance!" POOF! She is sent down below. "And you?" St. Peter says, looking at the second nun. "I want to be Oprah. She has a good heart, and more money than I can spend I'm sure!" POOF! She's on her way. "And you?" he says, looking at the final nun. In her thick Italian accent, she struggles with the words, "Alberto Peepalini" St Peter looks confused, and begins to search through his scrolls. Nowhere does he find this Alberto character. "Sister, are you sure you have the name right? I can't find a record of him..." "Yes! I can prove it!" she says, handing a newspaper clipping to St Peter. The headline reads: "Alberta Pipeline: laid by 800 men in 6 months!"