#second-nun

The Two Nuns and the Blind man. There were once two nuns taking a bath together when all of a sudden they hear a knock at the door. ""Who is it?"" yells out one of the nuns. ""It's me, the blind man."" replies the man at the door. ""Ok, come on up."" calls the second nun. A short moment later, they heard the footsteps up the staircase and soon the door to the bathroom opened. ""Oh, hello Sisters. I like your new towels. Now where do you want the blinds?"" Bu dum tss

One day there were four nuns in line for confessional. The first nun said, ""Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."" He asked how. She said ""I saw a man's private part."" He told her to wash her eyes with holy water. The second nun comes in and says, ""Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."" He asked how. ""I touched a man's private parts."" He told her to wash her hands in holy water. Then he heard the third and fourth nun fighting. He asked why they were fighting. The fourth nun said, ""I'm…

Three Nuns are walking down an alley after church. A man jumps out in a trench coat and exposes himself to them. The first Nun has a stroke. The second Nun has a stroke. But the third Nun doesn't touch him.

Three nuns sitting on a park bench ... ... A flasher comes up and opens his trench-coat in front of them, exposing himself completely. The first nun is horrified, she has a stroke, right there on the spot. The second nun is shocked, *she* has a stroke. The third nun was too offended to touch it.

Three nuns passed away and went up to Heaven. They were pleasantly surprised when Saint Peter informed them that in exchange for their many years of servitude and chastity, God Himself was going to bestow upon them each one wish... The first nun said with a blush, ""This is slightly embarrassing, but I have to admit, while I did love serving the Lord, the vow of chastity was really tough on me. May I return to Earth for a weekend of unbridled lust, with the face and body of Angelina Jolie?"" Sai…

Three nuns die and go to heaven, but all must answer one question to get in. The first nun is asked, ""Who was the first man on Earth?"" She says, ""Adam."" Lights flash and the pearly gates open. The second nun is asked, ""Who was the first woman on Earth?"" She says, ""Eve."" Lights flash and the gates open. The third nun is asked, ""What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"" Puzzled, the nun says, ""Oh my, that's a hard one."" Lights flash and the pearly gates open.

Two nuns are riding their bicycles to the Vatican First nun shouts to the other ""I've never come this way before!"" The second nun replies ""don't worry it's just the cobblestones.""

Four nuns die in a bus crash... ... they meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter welcomes the nuns. He tells them that, while he understands they devoted their lives to God, everyone is still given a chance to repent their last Sins, and gestures towards a fountain of Holy Water. The first nun pulls St. Peter aside, and says ""Forgive me, St. Peter, for I have sinned. I have gazed at the unholy parts of a man."" St. Peter is slightly taken back -- I mean, this is a nun for crying out loud!…

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench... Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.

There are 2 nuns sitting in a bath tub... The first nun nods and says ""where's the soap"". The second nun pauses for a moment then replies with "" yes it does, doesn't it"". (If you get it well done your a champ!)

3 nuns die and go to heaven. They meet St. Peter at the golden gates. St. Peter said ""You each have to answer 1 question. If the answer is right you can enter heaven and if you answer wrong you go straight to hell."" He calls the first nun and asks ""Who did God make first?"" Very happily she answers ""Oooh that's an easy one. God made Adam"" Trumpets blast, the golden gates open and she walks in. Then St. Peter calls the second nun and asks ""Who did God make second?"" Very happily she answers…

3 nuns decided that well.... they did not want to be nuns anymore. One day 3 nuns got together and the 1st nun says ""Man it sure is boring being a nun. I think I'm going to leave the convent."" Both of the other nuns agree and they go to the head nun(sister jude) to let her know that they did not want to be nuns anymore. The 1st nun says,"" Sister Jude I wish to not be a nun anymore."" Then sister jude says, ""Ok, go commit a mortal sin and then talk to me.'"" After an hour the nun comes back t…

Liquid Soap One morning two priests head to the showers. It isn't until they were already in the shower, that they realized they did not bring any soap. Father Bob decides he'll run back for the soap. Rather than get dressed, he peeks out into the hallway, and since no one is around, he decides to make a run for it. He gets the two bars of soap and checks the hall before heading back to the showers. All was clear, so he makes a break for it. Just as he turns the corner to the showers, he spots t…

Three nuns Three nuns were talking one day in their room. the first nun said ""did you see the rubber in Father Oharras dresser drawer?"" the second nun said ""yeah, i punched holes in it"". the third nun fainted.

Two nuns pass through a farmer's market... Walking past a fruit and vegetable stand, they stop and see a sign reading: *""Fresh cucumbers for sale.""* They asked how much the cucumbers were, to which the seller replies ""3 for 2 dollars"". The first nun accepts the offer. The second nun asks why they're purchasing three, when there's only two of them. The first answered back, ""Well, we could always eat the third one.""

Three nuns die... Three nuns die in a horribly unfortunate communion accident, and appear together at the pearly gates. They begin to confidently stride in and St. Peter appears and holds up his hands ""One minute ladies, but due to a recent resurgence in faith, Heaven is rapidly filling up, so the Big Guy has instituted an entrance exam to control the numbers"" The nuns begin to vehemently protest ""I know, I know,"" says St Peter, ""you dedicated your lives to God, and are all unquestionably d…

3 nuns go to heaven At the pearly gates St.Peter says ""before I let you in you most confess your sins. The first nun in line says ""I touched a man's shoulder"". St.Peter replies ""go over there to the holy water and wash your hands. Then you may go in"". The second nun starts to speak but the third nun pushes her out of the way. St.Peter asks ""why are you in such a hurry?"". The third nun replies ""I wanted to wash my mouth out before she sits in it"".

Three Nuns Get Quizzed In Heaven Three nuns die and go to heaven, but all must answer one question to get in. The first nun is asked, ""Who was the first man on Earth?"" She says, ""Adam."" Lights flash and the pearly gates open. The second nun is asked, ""Who was the first woman on Earth?"" She says, ""Eve."" Lights flash and the gates open. The third nun is asked, ""What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"" Puzzled, the nun is says, ""Hmmm, that's a hard one."" Lights flash and the pearly g…

Three nuns go to the Head Priest so they may confess their sins. The priest asks the first nun to share her sins. She replies, ""Well father, I have stayed out past curfew every night this past week. I am deeply sorry."" He replies, ""You are forgiven. Drink some holy water and pray a rosary, and God will absolve you of your sins."" Next, the second nun comes forward. She confesses: ""Father, I have been skipping the daily morning prayer in the chapel. I am also sorry."" He once again replies: "…

Three nuns waiting to get into heaven.. So three Nuns await at the pearly white gates to get into heaven. St. Peter tells them that they must each answer one question each correctly before being allowed in. St. Peter: First nun, your question is, who was the first man on the planet? First Nun: Oh that's an easy one, Adam! St. Peter: That's correct you may enter! Second Nun, your question is, who was the first woman on the planet? Second Nun: Well that was Eve of course! St. Peter: That is correc…

Two nuns ride their bicycles to the monastery. The older nun suggested a detour through an old little street. After they arrived, the second nun exclaimed: ""I never came this way!"" The first one smiles and explains: ""It's the cobblestones.""

Three Nuns Dies and Go To Heaven..... Saint Peter meets them at the gate and says ""I am going to ask each of you a question, if you get it right you can enter Heaven; but if you get it wrong you are going to Hell!"". He then turns to the first nun, a really smart brunette and says ""Who was the first man God put on Earth?""...Immediately she answered ""Adam"" so he opens the gate and lets her into Heaven. He then turns to the second nun, an average intelligence redhead and says ""Who was the fi…

Three nuns die in a car crash and next thing they know they look up to see St Peter, greeting them at the pearly gates. He looks at the first nun and tells her he is going to ask her a question regarding her religous beliefs, and if she answers correctly, she will be welcomed into heaven. He asks, ""what was the name of the first man on earth?"" She quickly answers ""Adam."" The pearly gates open up and St. Peter says, ""welcome to heaven my child."" The second nun steps up and again St. Peter h…

the soap dispensing priest Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it , not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide , he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on …

A priest goes to take a shower late at night..... After going in he realizes that there is no soap and remembers he has soap in his room.And Goes To Get Soap Without Getting Dressed. He Grabs Two Bars Of Soap In His Hands From His Room And Heads Back To The Shower. He Gets Halfway Down The Hall Suddenly He Sees Three Nuns Coming His Way. He Find No Place To Hide Than He Stands Against The Wall And Freezes Like He is A Statue. The Nuns Stop And Comment: ""How Original This Statue Is Looking."" Th…