#first-nun

Three Nuns Dies and Go To Heaven..... Saint Peter meets them at the gate and says ""I am going to ask each of you a question, if you get it right you can enter Heaven; but if you get it wrong you are going to Hell!"". He then turns to the first nun, a really smart brunette and says ""Who was the first man God put on Earth?""...Immediately she answered ""Adam"" so he opens the gate and lets her into Heaven. He then turns to the second nun, an average intelligence redhead and says ""Who was the fi…

Three nuns die in a car crash and next thing they know they look up to see St Peter, greeting them at the pearly gates. He looks at the first nun and tells her he is going to ask her a question regarding her religous beliefs, and if she answers correctly, she will be welcomed into heaven. He asks, ""what was the name of the first man on earth?"" She quickly answers ""Adam."" The pearly gates open up and St. Peter says, ""welcome to heaven my child."" The second nun steps up and again St. Peter h…

the soap dispensing priest Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it , not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers. He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide , he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on …

A priest goes to take a shower late at night..... After going in he realizes that there is no soap and remembers he has soap in his room.And Goes To Get Soap Without Getting Dressed. He Grabs Two Bars Of Soap In His Hands From His Room And Heads Back To The Shower. He Gets Halfway Down The Hall Suddenly He Sees Three Nuns Coming His Way. He Find No Place To Hide Than He Stands Against The Wall And Freezes Like He is A Statue. The Nuns Stop And Comment: ""How Original This Statue Is Looking."" Th…

Three nuns are in a hefty discussion about what it is that men have between their legs. The first says: ""I've been told that they have a hump of flesh there"" ""No, no, no, that can't be"" says the second, ""My mother always told me they have a stick there"" ""Ah, you are both ignorant"", replies the third, ""men definitely have a little bird down there"" One day brother Fransiscus is visiting from another monastery and the nuns decide to put their theories to the test. The first nun walks up, …

Judgment day of 3 nuns 3 nuns die and go to afterlife for judgment. The angel who is supposed to judge them points out the holy water and says: ""You'll be allowed to enter to heaven if you wash the body parts you have sinned with using this holy water."" The nuns get into a row in front of the holy water. First nun goes and washes her hands then leaves. Just before second nun uses the holy water, third nun rushes up and gargles. Angel gets curious and asks why she did that. Third nun answers: "…

Two Nuns ride back to the convent. They were riding bicycles and one nun says to the other ""I know a short cut, follow me"" The other one says ""Ive never come this way before"" The first nun looks at her and smiles ""Oh yeah girl, that's the cobblestone. ""

A bus full of nuns crashes... A bus full of nuns crashes and kills everyone inside. Now their spirits are all in line waiting to get into heaven. At the front of the line there is an angel who let's them in. as the first nun in line approaches the angel, he says ""do you have any sins to confess before I let you into heaven?"" the nun replies ""no"", she gets in. The second nun gets to the angel and he asks again ""do you have any sins to confess before I let you into heaven?"" she answers ""Umm…

Three nuns are walking through a park A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes them. Such was the shock that the first nun had a stroke, then the second nun had a stroke but the third nun just couldn't bring herself to touch it.

I admit I suffer from ""Penguin Lust"" Nuns in their habits just really turn me on. Their vow of chastity is like a challenge. My friends know this about me so it was not much of a surprise that after a night of intense, blackout drinking, I ended up waking up in front of a convent, with my pants mysteriously missing. I heard one of the sisters approaching and I pretended to be asleep. I was incredibly aroused and when the poor girl saw me, she had a stroke. I continued to pretend to sleep when …

So there are three nuns walking down the street and a streaker runs by... The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third, the third nun doesn't touch him.

Three nuns die and go to heaven... ...where St. Peter greets them and informs them that in order to get into heaven, they must answer a question apeice. The first nun, who happens to be a novice nun, goes first. ""For you,"" says Peter, ""an easy question, because of your short time as a nun. Who were the first two people?"" ""That's easy,"" replies the nun excitedly. ""Adam and Eve."" ""Congratulations,"" says Peter, ""You're in."" He beckons the second nun forward. The second nun has been with…

Three Nuns at Pearly Gates. So three nuns simultaneously die and go to the gates of St. Peter. Whilst there, St. Peter approaches the nuns and says: ""I'm sorry girls, but heaven's getting pretty full now. There's this new policy that I have to ask you guys a religious-trivia question before i can let you in"". The nuns agree. So St. Peter approaches the first: ""What was the name of the first Man?"" The 1st nun replies: ""Adam."" Peter: ""Right, you're in."" The first nun then appears on the ot…

Nuns In Heaven So three nuns simultaneously die and go to the gates of St. Peter. Whilst there, St. Peter approaches the nuns and says: ""I'm sorry girls, but heaven's getting pretty full now. There's this new policy that I have to ask you guys a religious-trivia question before i can let you in"". The nuns agree. So St. Peter approaches the first: ""What was the name of the first Man?"" The 1st nun replies: ""Adam."" Peter: ""Right, you're in."" The first nun then appears on the other side of t…

Three nuns are sitting on a park bench... ...when a man in a trenchcoat walks up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun has a stroke. The third nun couldn't reach.

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, 'Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be. The first nun says, 'I want to be Sophia Loren and *poof* she's gone. The second says, 'I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone. The third says, 'I want to be Sara Pipalini..' St. Peter looks perplexed. 'Who?' he ask 'Sara Pipalini,' replies the nun. St. Peter shak…

Three nuns die in a car accident. They arrive at the pearly gates... ...and St. Peter greets them, "welcome to heaven sisters! Before I let you in I have to ask you each a question that you must answer to be accepted into heaven." The first nun steps up, and St. Peter asks, "who is the son of god?" The nun says, "that's easy. Jesus." The gates open, and she strolls into heaven. The second one steps up. "Who is Jesus' mother?" She answers, "Mary," and the gates open. The third nun steps up…

Two nuns on a bike ride in Philadelphia Two nuns are on a bide ride through Philadelphia, the first nun says to the second, "Make a right turn here, I know a short cut". After a few minutes the second nun says, "I've never come this way before". The first replies, "I know, it's the cobblestones"

Two Irish nuns are on a boat to the US... Two Irish nuns are on a boat to the US, when the first nun says, "You know, I've heard they eat dogs in America." "I've heard the same thing," says the second. After some discussion, the two nuns decide that they will try some dog in order to start immersing themselves in American cultural customs. When they get off the boat, they find their way to a hot dog stand on the corner, ask for two dogs, and sit down to eat this new food. The first nun unwr…

2 nuns take a shortcut 2 nuns are riding bicycles through the Vatican and they decide to take a shortcut down a cobblestone street. The first nun says to the second, "I've never come this way before." The second nun replies to the first, "Nor have I. It must be the cobblestones."

Three nuns are sitting in the park... ...when a man comes up and flashes them. The first nun has a second stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third couldn't quite reach it.

Three nuns die and get to the gate of heaven... ..guarded by st. Petrus. He says: in order to enter the gates of heaven, each of you have to answer a question to prove your knowledge about the holy father and his reign. So he asks the first nun: who was he first man on earth? She answers: oh, that's an easy one! It was adam. And the angels sing and the doors open and she enters into heaven. So st. Petrus asks the second nun: who was the first woman on earth? She answers: oh, thats an easy on…

Three nuns died... ...and found themselves standing before St. Peter at the gates of heaven. "Before I can let you in," said Peter, "you'll each have to answer one question." The first nun stepped forward and Peter asked, "What was the name of the first man?" "Adam," answered the nun. And immediately bells began ringing and lights started flashing, and the gates opened up and she entered into heaven. The second nun stepped forward. "What was the name of the first woman?" St. Peter asked.…

2 nuns were smoking when it started to rain... The first nun takes out a condom and cuts off the end and slides it over her cigarette and continues smoking. The second nun notices that it is keeping the first nuns cigarette dry and asks "where'd you get that?" "From the Pharmacy" replied the first nun. So the second nun heads down to the pharmacy and asks the clerk for a pack of condoms. "What size do you need" asked the clerk. The nun replied - "Large enough to fit a Camel"

A nun wakes up one morning And as she's walking down the hallway to the convent kitchen the first door after hers opens up and another nun exits and says "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" As the first nun continues down the hallway this keeps happening. "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" By the end of the hallway, and 15 times later the first nun is LIVID, and marches straight…