#jesus-christ

Jesus Christ was supposed to be named Franklin.... Until Mary stubbed her toe.

So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice ... There's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance. The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?" The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!" The Pope exclaims, "Every couple of years?? What!!?? We're still waiting for his second coming!" The alien replies, "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?" The Pope is flabbergasted, "What does chocolate have to do with anything…

Where? A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today? “ Steven raised his hand and said, “He's in heaven. “ Mary was called on and answered, “He's in my heart. “ Little Johnny, waving his hand furiou…

Jesus christ walks into a hotel and puts a few nails on the counter "Hey can you put me up for the night?"

Grandma is eighty-eight and drives her own car... She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy i…

Yo mama joke I thought of it Yo mama is so fat and old that she’s still eating from the last supper. Edit : Jesus Christ this blew up. Didn’t know so many of you had to release yo mamas from your system.

A man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I took the Lord's name in vain while golfing." "I understand, my son," the priest says. "I play the game as well, and it can be frustrating. What happened?" "Well," the man says, "I hit my drive on the fifteenth green and it sliced to the right, into the trees." "Was that when you did it?" The priest asked. "No, the ball bounced off a tree and onto the green," the man continued. "But it bounced into a …

A little kid asks his parents: "Mom! Dad! Where's grandma?" Mom: "Oh, honey. Don't you remember? Grandma's no longer with us. She's in heaven" The kid asks "Heaven? Where's heaven?" Daddy replies "Up in the sky, son" Kid: "How did she get there?" Mom: "She fell of her balcony, on the second floor" Kid: "Jesus Christ, the rebound was huge!"

Jesus Christ walks into a bar... He spots a Russian man with a glass of water. He asks "My son, are you a believer?" The Russian replies "No." Jesus waves his hands and behold! The glass is changed to wine. "Well my son, do you believe now?" The Russian frowns and shakes his head. The next day, Jesus comes into the bar and sees the same man. "My son, are you a believer yet?" The Russian replies "No." With a wave of his hands, Jesus again changes it to a glass of wine. "Well m…

A Jew, Muslim and Christian are in a bar A Jew, Muslim and Christian are in a bar. They are arguing about which religion is the best at recruiting new followers. In the end they all decide to each go into the woods over the week and find a bear. They are then to try and convert that bear to their religion. A week goes by and they all meet up again to discuss their results. “Well,” says the Muslim “I found my bear and read to him from the Quran and the teachings of Muhammad. He is currently plan…

Jesus didn't like your chocolate? Aliens have arrived on earth. We arrange a huge extravagant event with all the world leaders in attendance. The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?" The aliens say, "Do we ever? Awesome guy! He wwings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!" The Pope exclaims, "Every couple of years? What!!?? We're still waiting for his second coming!" The alien replies, "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?" The Pope is dumbfounded, "What does chocolate h…

I walked into a bar And ordered 10 shots of vodka at the bar and started doing shot after shot until I got 6 in and the bartender said 'Jeez buddy, are you having problems?' to which I replied "You wouldn't want what I got.". He asked what I had and I said "About 35 cents" He kicked me out promptly afterwards So I was walking down the sidewalk kinda buzzed and stumbled into two priests. They apologized and I replied "I'mje -hiccup- Jesus Christ". They looked at each other and said "no no …

Religion I went to an Inter-Religion Integration Seminar. The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!” I smiled and told him I was not paralysed. The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today! I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me. The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!” I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wron…

Maybe Jesus didn't like your chocolate? So aliens come to earth and they're Sooo nice. There's a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance. The Pope asks, "Do you know of Jesus Christ?" The aliens say, "Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!" The Pope exclaims, "Every couple of years?? What!!?? We're still waiting for his second coming!" The alien replies, "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?" The Pope is flabbergasted, "What d…

A man dies and goes to heaven. As he sits in a chair Jesus Christ takes a seat in front of him.

Why is Jesus Christ the worst perosn to play first person shooters with? He takes three days to respawn

Jesus Christ was featured on a recent episode of Hoarders Apparently

(Original) What do Jesus Christ and Communism have in common? They both fed 5

Jesus Christ turned water into wine and got worshiped by millions. I turned weed into cookies and now I have to wash dishes at an Olive Garden to pay rent.

The real Jesus Christ Three drunks are sitting in a bar in Amsterdam and start bragging. The first drunk says:""I am Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ goes up to heaven... He walks up an old man and says ""Excuse me but I'm looking for my father.

A catholic school teacher was teaching a lesson one morning and asked his students where Jesus was. ""Yes Susie"" he said as he called on Susie whose hand was raised. ""He's in heaven!"" She shouted with pride. He called on Steven who said ""He was in his heart"" The only boy left with his hand raised with had the most unusual answer ""He's in my bathroom!"" Everyone had a puzzled look on his/her face. ""Yeah!"" Said the boy.. ""My father bangs on the door every morning saying 'Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ is dying on the cross his disciples are gathered around

Jesus Christ walks into a motel and drops a handful of nails on the counter. He asks Can you put me up for the night ?

Why is Jesus Christ so buff? Crossfit