#dublin

There's these two Irish guys... And it's St. Patty's Day, so the two are getting blasted. In their drunken stupor, they strike up a conversation. The first Irishman goes, ""Hey there Laddie, where are ya from?"" The second one replies, ""Oh me? I'm straight from Ireland!"" The first Irishman smiles brightly, ""NOOO WAAAAY! ME TOO! A round of drinks!"" The two Irishmen down their drinks and keep chatting. ""Well, where in Ireland are you from?"" ""Dublin!"" ""NOOO WAAAAY! ME TOO! A round of drink…

Remembering Brothers A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of brew and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, ""You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it so it would taste better if you bought just one at a time."" The cowboy replies, ""Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin and I'm in Texas. When we all le…

Two men sitting at a bar... Two men are sitting next to each other at the bar well into their drinking. The first man says to the bartender, in a thick Irish accent, ""Sir, another shot of your finest whiskey!"" The second man looks at the first and says, with an equally thick accent, ""Well I'll be, by chance do you come from Ireland?"" ""I do sir! A round for me and my fellow countryman!"" The bartender pours the pair a shot each. The second man looks at the first and says, ""By chance, did yo…

What's the difference between Bono and God? God doesn't walk around Dublin pretending he's Bono

What do you call a man who rides his camel backwards? Lawrence of Dublin.

Drunk Irishman Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. 'Damn' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, 'Damn, 'Damn !' He looks to the doorway and t…

An amateur group of Islamic film makers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ. It is believed to be so offensive that St Mary's church in Dublin have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, and Dorothy O'Neill from Dinlge has written a strongly worded letter. When will the madness end?

A man called Andrew moved from Cork to Dublin to open a flower shop. ... .... .... He was quite successful and through great marketing, quality product, and reasonable prices, Andrew's Flowers became the top garden shop in all Dublin. Some monks that had a stall set up nearby took notice and, since attendance at ... Read more...

Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? Because it's capital is always Dublin.

In what town lives the mathematician who can only multiply by two? Dublin.

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, "" You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy. Paddy replies, ""OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."" Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. ""Shoite"" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, ""Shoite, Shoite!"" He looks to the doorway and thinks…

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of beer and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, ""You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time."" The cowboy replies, ""Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that w…

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. Aren't ye Mrs.. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?' She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.' The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.' She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways. Some years later they met…

Baptist Cowboy A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, ""You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."" The cowboy replies, ""Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left hom…

Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. ""Aye so I have. 'Tis Friday you know so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called ""Happy Hour"" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o' those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O' course I had to go in for…

The American tourist in Dublin had been complaining a great deal about the food. ""Here"" he said to the waitress holding out a piece of meat for inspection ""do you call that pig?"" ""Which end of the fork sir?"" the waitress asked sweetly.

Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving Late Sunday evening he was found in tree by a farmer. What happened said the farmer Liam replied that his parachute failed to open well said the farmer if you had of asked the locals before you jumped they would have told you nothing opens here on a Sunday.

Three Irishmen Paddy Sean and Shamus were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. ""Come have a look over here"" says Paddy ""It's Michael O'Grady's grave God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."" ""That's nothing"" says Sean ""here's one named Patrick O'Toole. It says here that he was 95 when he died."" Just then Shamus yells out ""But here's a fella that died when he was 145 years old!"" ""What was his name?"" asks Padd…

A Scottish man an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says ''There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy.'' The Scot is not impressed and says ''That's nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five.'' At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed. The Irishman totally unimpressed says ''That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord bu…

eer booze and fun!' 'A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. 'Why of course' comes the reply. The first man then asks 'Where are you from?' 'I'm from Ireland' replies the second man. The first man responds by saying 'You don't say. I'm from Ireland too. Let's have another round to Ireland.' 'Of course' replies the second man. Curious the first man then asks 'Where in Ireland are you from?' 'Dublin' comes the reply. 'I can't believe it' says the …

Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel bar... Ryanair's Micheal O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary." Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money. "Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ir…

A letter from an Irish mother to her son *This was one of the first forwards I ever got on my old dial up, so forgive me if yous have seen it before.* Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to sen…

A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he hears a woman screaming and detects a faint smell of burning in the air. He runs down the street and around a corner and sees a huge group of people standing watching a blazing building. On the tenth floor of the building a woman, clutching a bundle to her chest, is leaning out of a window screaming for someone to save her baby. The man steps forward and calls up to the woman, "Throw down your baby and I'll catch it". "No! No!" the woman shou…

Three Irishmen Three Irishmen are walking home after a night at the pub. They're all a bit pissed, and decided to take the shortcut through the churchyard. As they pass the gravestones, one Irishman says to the others, "Look at this, boys. Ol' Patrick Flannigan lived 'til 85". Another of the men says, "Ah, that's nothing. Davie O'Toole is buried here. He lived to be 97." The third Irishman says, "Ah, they were kiddies compared to this old bastard. He lived to be 134." The others are shocked and…

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman... An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney, Australia. "The view is fantastic, the beer excellent and the food exceptional," said the Scotsman, "but I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow, there's a little bar called McTavish's. The landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink for you." "Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the b…