#pattys

Wear green for St Patty's Day! You don't wanna get punched! -You mean pinched [flashback to the 6 people I punched earlier] It's pinched?

CHEF: You're fired ME: Is it cause I call beef patty's "beef patricias?" CHEF: Yes ME: Can I have some Switzerland cheese bef- CHEF: GET OUT

I got really drunk on St. Patty's Day last year and took the bus home. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before

St Patty's Day Joke A young boy walks up to his grandfather and says ""grandpa, can I have $5 for a guinea pig?"" The grandfather looks at his grandson and says ""here's $10, get yourself a nice Irish girl.""

Irish I could say I came up with these St. Patty's Day jokes What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? -A rash of good luck. Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland? - He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? -Regular rocks are too heavy. How did the Irish Jig get started? -Too much to drink and not enough restrooms! What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control his wife? - A bachelor. ""I married an Irishman on St. Pat…

I almost forgot to wish a happy St. Patty's day to... ...Barack O'Bama Got this from Neil deGrasse Tyson's Twitter.

There's these two Irish guys... And it's St. Patty's Day, so the two are getting blasted. In their drunken stupor, they strike up a conversation. The first Irishman goes, ""Hey there Laddie, where are ya from?"" The second one replies, ""Oh me? I'm straight from Ireland!"" The first Irishman smiles brightly, ""NOOO WAAAAY! ME TOO! A round of drinks!"" The two Irishmen down their drinks and keep chatting. ""Well, where in Ireland are you from?"" ""Dublin!"" ""NOOO WAAAAY! ME TOO! A round of drink…

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's day and Martin Luther King day? Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Paddy's. Edit- Paddy's not patty's