#guinea

Guinea pigs aren't real pets. You buy them when your kids are begging for a dog, but you want to make them sad instead.

Dating Tips 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Please. I am 36 and live with 2 guinea pigs.

[creation] GOD: You all have a divine purpose HORSE: I will plow man's field COW: I will give man milk GUINEA PIG: I will test man's shampoo

Wild horses could easily drag me away. In fact, a pair of determined guinea pigs could probably give me a run for my money.

the guy who named eggplants, pineapples, and Guinea pigs is all the same guy

Kids are back to school & all I do is worry about their guinea pig. Is she lonely? Bored? Silly? I should probably hold her. I need a life.

I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me; mistakenly as it were because I have the nerves of a guinea pig and puke when I cry.

want to go to a pet store and pet the guinea pigs. let me see those baked potatos stat. i want to hear the noise they make

Guinea Pig When I was five years old, my teacher asked me if I wanted to take the school guinea pig home. Seven months later, I arrived in the African republic of Guinea.

A husband and wife go into a pet store... The husband tells his wife that for her birthday present, the wife can pick out any animal in the store. She takes her time looking at all the different cats, dogs, guinea pigs etc., and isn't particularly fond of any of them. She eventually sees this large frog in the far corner of the store and immediately falls in love with it and tells her husband, ""I have to have this frog."" So the husband and wife bring it up to the cashier. Before cashing them o…

A guy volunteers to take his wife's childbirth pains... As the expectant couple gets to the delivery room, the doctor tells them about an experimental machine that can transfer part of the pain of childbirth from the mother to the father. The husband volunteers to be a guinea pig and gets strapped in. ""How much do you want to try?"" asks the doctor. ""Let's go with 50%,"" says the man. After a few minutes, the doc asks the wife how she's doing. She says the pain is far less than her last delive…

An alternate international joke... An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Ce…

A Russian, a French and a German tourist walk through New Guinea... ...when, suddenly, a cannibal tribe emerges from the jungle and attacks them. They're caught and brought to the village, where the tribe's chief walks out. ""Ah,"" he says, ""nice to meet you! Now, we'll eat you, of course, that's our tradition, but it's nothing personal, I don't want you to think of us badly. So, you'll all get one wish before we begin."" The Frenchman looks around and says ""Well, if I have to die, let me spen…

An Afgan, ...an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chil…

What is a drug? A drug is a substance which when injected into a guinea pig produces a scientific paper.

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilea…

St Patty's Day Joke A young boy walks up to his grandfather and says ""grandpa, can I have $5 for a guinea pig?"" The grandfather looks at his grandson and says ""here's $10, get yourself a nice Irish girl.""

What do you call an anorexic Guinea pig? A skinny pig.

Why don't I take my guinea pigs on walksies It's hard on my cavies

What doctors really thinking? - This should be taken care of right away."" I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. - ""Welllllll, what have we here...?"" He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue. - ""Let me check your medical history."" I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you. - ""We have some good news and some bad news."" The good news is, I'm going to buy that …

American girls A kid asked his Dad if he could have $10 for a guinea pig. His Dad says, ""All I have is $5, why don't you find yourself a nice American girl.""

The Most Ethnically-Diverse Joke Ever Told An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Apache, an Argentinean, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian…

ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is …

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chile…

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian..... .... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian…