A Russian, a French and a German tourist walk through New Guinea... ...when, suddenly, a cannibal tribe emerges from the jungle and attacks them. They're caught and brought to the village, where the tribe's chief walks out. ""Ah,"" he says, ""nice to meet you! Now, we'll eat you, of course, that's our tradition, but it's nothing personal, I don't want you to think of us badly. So, you'll all get one wish before we begin."" The Frenchman looks around and says ""Well, if I have to die, let me spend the last hour with some of the prettiest girls from your tribe."" ""Of course,"" the chief says. ""Many seem to like you, no problem."" An hour later, the tired but satisfied Frenchman leaves a hut and promptly gets slaughtered. The German sighs. ""Give me all the beer and sausages you have,"" he says. ""I won't die hungry."" The chief arranges a hearty meal, and the German fills himself up, then gets gagged and tossed onto a bonfire. The Russian, who all the time has been staring daggers at the chief, points to his own chin and says. ""See this? Hit!"" The chief, taken aback, says, ""But..."" ""No buts!"" the Russian yells. ""My wish! Do it! Hit!"" The chief shrugs and smacks the Russian in the jaw. The Russian inhales angrily, takes out an AK-47 out of his backpack, and massacres the entire tribe. The German manages to roll off the bonfire; barely alive, he looks at the Russian and whispers... ""You had this gun... all the time... and you didn't do anything? Why?!?"" The Russian proudly puts his chin up and exclaims: ""Because Russia is never aggressor!""