#president-obama

Australia's smartest man An airplane was about to crash.. There were five passengers on board, but only four parachutes. The first passenger said, “I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can’t afford to die.” So he took the first parachute and left the plane. The second passenger, Tony Abbot said, “I am the Prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest man in Australian history, so Australia’s people don’t want me to die.” He took the second parachute and jumped…

Bob knows a lot of people Bob's a factory worker, and one day, the boss is showing a bunch of Japanese investors around the factory. One of them sees Bob, and they promptly exchange handshakes and start talking like long lost friends. Afterwards, Bobs boss asks him what that was about. Bob just replies 'oh, I know him from a few years back, I actually know a lot of important people.' His boss is sceptic, but Bob replies: 'Tell you what, name anyone you can think off, I bet you that they know…

President Obama has a meeting with the President of China to discuss debt... President Obama has a meeting with Xi Jinping to discuss the debt the US owes to China. He arrives at the Chinese presidential mansion with Joe Biden, but they find there is work going on in the garden and lots of mud everywhere. So they have to roll up their trouser legs and step carefully to enter. They sit down to wait for President Xi, but Biden notices they still have their trousers rolled up. So he whispers: "M…

Barack Obama, the Pope, Hilary Clinton and a boy scout are on a plane... The plane is about to crash when they realize there are only 3 parachutes. The first passenger, President Obama said “I am the president of the United States, as much as it will haunt me for the rest of my life, I must insist I take a parachute. I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people and the strongest military in the world.” The others agree and the president grabs a bag and jumps out…

Everybody knows Bubba Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Alth…

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Obama. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America." President Obama says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you, I will do." The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, and Blacks, and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't u…

Donald Trump walks up to President Obama... He asks, "Obama my man, how did you manage to put together such a wonderful team? Tell me your secret." Obama smiles and replies, "Well, the first thing that you have to do, Mr Trump, is to surround yourself with intelligent people." "Well how do I do that?" asks Trump. "Simple," Obama replies. "The way I do it, I always ask them one simple question." He turns around and yells, "Joe! Get in here!" Joe Biden saunters into the the room. "Joe," Obama…

President Obama is doing his morning exercises... ...and jogging around the White House grounds when one of the Secret Service agents suggests he should see how fast he can circle the White House ten times. After all, it is a presidential tradition to try it at least once, and being moderately athletic, he figured he'd make pretty good time. So he stands at the south portico with the agent, who counts him down. "3...2...1...go!" President Obama takes off. He paces himself, not wanting to exha…

When Trump visited the White House before his presidency... He asked then president Obama how he managed to run two successful terms. "Simple", Obama replied, "Just get an intelligent wife" "How do I know my wife is intelligent?" Trump asked. "Just ask her intelligent questions and if she answers correctly, then you know she is intelligent". Obama then called Michelle and asked "Darling, your parents have a child, the child is neither your sister nor your brother, who is the child?" "The c…

When Trump visited the White House before his presidency... He asked then president Obama how he managed to run two successful terms.

President Obama and the old man 😃

President Obama is doing his morning exercises... ...and jogging around the White House grounds when one of the Secret Service agents suggests he should see how fast he can circle the White House ten times. After all

Donald Trump walks up to President Obama... He asks

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Obama. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says

President Obama has a meeting with the President of China to discuss debt... President Obama has a meeting with Xi Jinping to discuss the debt the US owes to China. He arrives at the Chinese presidential mansion with Joe Biden

President Obama visits the Pentagon... President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology.

[Civil servant joke] President Obama wants to know who's better: the CIA the US Marine Corps

President Obama visits the Pentagon... President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. Which would you like to try first?" Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear."

Does Obama have the authority to give away the Internet?,"When asked to comment, President Obama responded ""Yes ICANN""

How many clones of president Obama does it take to change a lightbulb? What a stupid question: Obama won't change jack shit.

Who is trusted more than President Obama? Tom Brady

How did president Obama win the election? he ran for president

What's the difference between President Obama and a bucket of shit? The shit's in a bucket !

Does Obama have the authority to give away the Internet? When asked to comment, President Obama responded "Yes, ICANN"

Why did President Obama get two terms? Because every black man gets a longer sentence