#japan

Charlie the Street Car Conductor Long joke that is passed down in my family So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated …

A Japanese businessman hails a taxi... As they go along the highway, a car zooms past by. "Oooh," exclaims the businessman, "that's a Toyota. Made in Japan, very fast!" Moments later, another car speeds ahead. "Ahhhhh," exclaims the businessman again, "a Nissan! Made in Japan too, also very fast!" Then once more, another car rushes ahead. "Oooooh," exclaims the businessman, "a Mitsubishi! Made in Japan and very fast again!" Then they reach their destination. "Why bi…

Phrase of the day An American businessman is in Japan for an important contract. Feeling stressed out, he goes to a brothel and finds a cute, young girl. Although shy at first, soon she starts moaning and panting, and keeps on screaming "Soko janai! Soko janai!". While he couldn't speak or understand Japanese, the man is glad to know that he managed to please her so much. The next day, he strikes the deal, and is invited to play golf with his Japanese associates. On the hardest hole of the …

My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night." Mexico was on, we had burritos. Japan was on, we had sushi. USA was on, we had burgers. Italy was on, we had pizza. Tuesday is England, so we're going out.

Old jokes about Russians ..from Soviet times... from Lithuania. Few Days after Jurij Gagarin went to space and was the first human who ever made it into space, in a small village a man is visiting his neighbour. "Jonai ! Did you read that ? The Russians now went into Space!" his neighbour got big eyes, happiness came over his face and he asked back: "Really ? All of them !? " -------- ------------------------------------------------------------------ Few years after occupation the Russi…

Feel like a woman On a flight to Japan, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of relationships in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've …

Billy was obsessed with tractors. Billy was obsessed with tractors. He grew up on a farm and ever since the very first moment he laid eyes on a tractor he thought they were the most beautiful things he'd ever seen. His parents would take him for rides through the fields on their tractor and started buying him toy tractors to play with. As he grew up he drew pictures of tractors all the time, and collected photos of rare tractors to put up in his bedroom. He bought tractor magazines and joined t…

In his first trip to Japan, the businessman... ...is very nervous about meeting his wealthiest client, Mr. Nakagawa, whom he will be playing golf with the day after he arrives in the country. He takes a cab from the airport to his hotel and heads to the bar to drink his nerves away. Over the course of countless cups of sake, he meets a lovely young Japanese girl and ends up bringing her back to his room for a wild evening of fun. He wakes up the next morning, refreshed and full of confidence, …

American Businessman's First Visit to Japan A successful American businessman heads to Japan to meet with a big supplier. Naturally, the Japanese are going to set him up with a good time and loads of entertainment. The first night, they go to Karaoke and a gorgeous young Karaoke hostess is sent back to the man's hotel room to entertain him further. Despite her willingness, she still wants everything done with the lights off. As he is going at it, she is crying out "Oshimigaso, Oshimigaso", …

Down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a street car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one da…

Is There a Santa Claus? An Engineer's Perspective Author’s note: All numerical values, calculations and estimates are, of course, indubitably accurate. The first and foremost thing to take into account to properly begin the proof is the number of children Santa Claus must visit each Christmas. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) and other non-Christ…

A Jewish Samurai [Long] Once upon a time there was a competition in Japan to decide who would be the new head samurai. There were 3 contestants, A Jewish Samurai, and Christian Samurai, and a Muslim Samurai. The emperor of Japan says to the Muslim Samurai to go first, so, The Muslim Samurai spots a bee and slices it clean in half. Next, the emperor asks the Christian Samurai to go. The Christian Samurai spots another bee and slices the bee's wings clean off. Finally, The emperor asks the Jewish…

An American, a Japanese, and a Chinese man are lost in a desert... The three of them find a bottle in the sand and a genie appears. The genie says to them that he'll grant each of them three wishes. The American says "I wish for alot of money". The genie grants his first wish. "I wish for even more money" The genie grants the wish again. "I want to use my third wish to go home". The genie teleports him back to America. The Japanese man says "I want a beautiful girlfriend". The genie grants hi…

An American, a Japanese and a Russian scientist are chilling in the park Suddenly, the American just starts talking about a seemingly random topic that had nothing to do with their conversation. After a few minutes, he turns towards the Japanese and the Russian and says: 'Oh sorry guys, this is the newest technology in the US. It was my wife calling me. See, I have this minuscule device in my ear that both allows me to hear her and speak to her.' The Japanese and the Russian nod, both of them…

Australia is doing phenomenally on the Olympic medal tally considering our population #1. USA: 318.9 million #2. China: 1.357 billion #3. Japan: 173.3 million #4. Australia: 48 as of last census

The Japanese designed a detective-robot able to catch thieves easily They tried it out in three countries. In Japan, the robots caught 100 thieves in five minutes. In the US, the robots caught 200 thieves in five minutes. In Albania, five minutes were enough for the robots to be stolen.

An American man travels to Japan on business... ...and on his first night he visits a bar in Tokyo to experience the local nightlife. He meets an enchanting woman, and after several rounds of drinks and flirting, she accompanies him back to his hotel. They commence copulation, and in the throws of passion, the woman screams out "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" The man, pleased with himself for appeasing his lover's desires, finishes and rolls over to sleep. The next morning, he meets a prosp…

Three people from the UK, the US, and Japan are stranded on a deserted island Three people from the UK, the US, and Japan are stranded on a deserted island with no rescue in sight. The Brit suggests dividing tasks: "I'll handle building, the American can take care of food, and the Japanese will handle supplies." After a few hours, the Brit finishes building a house, the American prepares a great dinner, but the Japanese is nowhere to be found. As they search, the Japanese suddenly jumps out fro…

In Japan, what do you say to your mom when she cooks for you? I love umami !!

Tattoo A man wanted to get a tattoo. The only issue was, the tattoo was an devilishly intricate design. He went to his local tattoo parlor, only to get turned away as the artist was not skilled enough. He tried again in a busy parlor in the middle of a nearby city, only to be told it was too difficult once again. Dejected, the man set out on a quest to find a tattoo artist skilled enough to make his tattoo for him. He searched all across the United States, to no avail. He moved to the UK, then…

Lindsey Graham gets new suit On a Senate trip to Japan, Lindsey Graham picked up some silk to have a custom suit made. At a top notch tailor shop in South Carolina, the tailor said with the material, he could make a single breasted suit. Graham decided to wait, took the material to a tailor in New York who told him he could make a double breasted suit, a vest, and an extra pair of pants. He asked, "How can you do so much more with this material than the tailor in South Carolina?" "Well, sen…

I went to Japan recently, and did not see a single ninja there. Impressive!

Imaginary Friend. I once had an invisible friend from Japan. My mum said it was just my imagine Asian..

Social experiment Social researchers from Oxford devised an experiment to place three men from diverse cultures on an otherwise deserted island. They decided on one man from France, one from Germany, and one from Japan. The German was told he is in charge of shelter, the Frenchman was put in charge of meals, and the Japanese was told he was in charge of supplies. The three were left alone on the island for 6 month. When the researchers returned, the German greeted them and showed the around t…

Why is obesity not a problem in Japan? Because the last time they had a fat man there. Several thousand people died.