#oxford

Now that "twerking" is in the Oxford dictionary, we probably can go back to grunting and hitting things to communicate.

things I'm passionate about: The Rule of Threes, self referential humor, and the Oxford comma.

Contemplating the merits of the Oxford comma as I head down to Florida to see my parents, Donald Trump and Marco Rubio

[touching face upon receiving compliment] Glad you like it. But, it's not a teardrop tattoo. It's an Oxford comma.

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Oxford ""The materials we put into our stomach should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But... There is one thing that is the more dangerous to all us and most of us have had it, or will have it. Can anyone…

The inventor of the Oxford Comma has died. Tributes have been lead by JK Rowling, his wife and the Queen of England.

Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma walk into a bar. They both had a great time.

The Sports Mechanic Three middle-aged women are sitting on a park bench discussing their children. ""My son William studied Architecture at Cambridge. He's 25 years old now and he makes 70,000 a year at Bregmann and Hamann,"" the first woman says. ""My son Charlie read Law at Oxford. He'll be turning 23 in October and he makes 100,000 a year at Shoe Lane Chambers,"" says the second woman. ""My son Max didn't go to uni. He left school at the age of 16, as a matter of fact. He's 30 now, but he mak…

Little joke I thought up Step 1. Buy a pair of jeans. Just one perfect fitting pair. Mine are black, but very dark blue works too. Step 2. Wear the jeans around and buy matching shoes and/or boots depending on climate. Step 3. Buy some mid-price t-shirts that you think you look great in. The right width and length for your body type. Step 4. Go into club Monoco and/or J Crew and get fitted for some Oxford cotton button downs. One in white. One in blue. Make sure it fits. Pick up a white dress sh…

I never knew Godwin's law was in the English Oxford dictionary.. What a bunch of language fascists. edited: grammar Nazis

Three Universities ... Three Universities all done research into why a mans bell end is shaped the way it is. Oxford Uni spent 100,000 in 6 months and came to the conclusion it is for the pleasure of the woman. Cambridge Uni spent 250,000 in 18 months and came to the conclusion its for the pleasure of the man. Dublin Uni spent 50 pence in 5 minutes and came to the conclusion its to stop your hand flying off the end.

A group of actors performed an on stage reading of the Oxford dictionary. The audience wasn't too enthralled with a play on words.

TIL that 'gullible' has been removed from the latest edition of the Oxford English dictionary... Seriously. I swear.

I'm so bored with life, I've decided to read the Oxford English Dictionary from start to finish. I'm past caring.

What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman.

I hate recursion, irony, and the Oxford Comma.

Things I hate: lists, Oxford commas, and irony.

Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma go to a bar. They both had a great time.

Mr and Mrs Frog only had one tadpole, and they loved her so much. Both of them has to enter the work force from a young age to support their family’s. Neither of them had any further education and their life’s desire was for their only daughter to have the opportunities they didn’t and to go to university, preferability Oxford or Cambridge. They worked every hour to secure extra tuition for their daughter and extra curriculum activities. One morning there was the familiar thud of post on the …

Why did Doc Brown apply to Harvard instead of Oxford? Where he’s going, he doesn’t need Rhodes

The Professor A professor at Oxford University is retiring after a brilliant career spanning several decades. At the farewell dinner, all his fellow professors and colleagues gather to congratulate him, thank him for his service, and give rousing speeches about how great his contribution to the University and the world has been. Someone proposes a toast, and just as they begin, there's a flash of light accompanied by divine music, and ... there in front of the gathering is an Angel from heave…

I came home to an intervention put on by my ex-lovers, my mom and my dad. And this is why we need the oxford comma.

Social experiment Social researchers from Oxford devised an experiment to place three men from diverse cultures on an otherwise deserted island. They decided on one man from France, one from Germany, and one from Japan. The German was told he is in charge of shelter, the Frenchman was put in charge of meals, and the Japanese was told he was in charge of supplies. The three were left alone on the island for 6 month. When the researchers returned, the German greeted them and showed the around t…

Did you know Oxford university was founded before the Aztec Empire? That explains the sacrifices my parents had to make to pay my tuition

Three college friends, one each from the Universities of Oxford, Cambridge and Loughborough, decided to pool their funds and go to the Olympics in Barcelona. The airfare and hotel rates ate up most of their money so they didn't have enough to get into the stadium to see the events. So they stood around the gate, watching all the other people get in and then noticed that some people didn't have to pay. Whenever an athlete passed the guard with his (or her) equipment, the guard would simply nod an…