#graham

[boardroom] "Now hear me out. They're Teenage.." Ok "Mutant.." I like where this is going "Ninja.." Noun me, Graham! "Turtles" You're fired

Converting Units: 1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi 2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton 3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope 4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond 5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram 6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong 7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling 8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon 9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megah…

my dad suggested i sign up to be a organ donor he's a man after my own heart -masai graham

Graham has withdrawn from the Republican nomination race. Some people worry that he'll send his voters to Trump. All three of them.

A verse of unit puns The Units Verse by Kevin Ahern Two thousand pounds of Chinese soup Will make a restaurant run In Beijing, China order it In units of Won ton Religious leaders measure clout From Nome to Amsterdam By how much clout they have with God The units - billi-grams Is the ratio of circumference To diameter my, my Of homes in northern latitudes Known as Eskimo pi? Four fifty three graham crackers is An awful lot to bake Into dessert when prepping up A really good pound cake The units …

A little pun that I think I made up, I can't remember, there's just been so many damn puns I've seen I stole a few of the large trucks that were tasked with transporting the crackers you use to make smores with. It was graham theft auto

Useful Metric Equivalents * 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone * 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles * 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds * 52 = 1 decacards * 1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn * 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche * 435.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake * 10 rations = 1 decoration * 10 millipede = 1 centipede * 3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent * 10 monologues = 5 dialogues * 2 monograms = 1 diagram * 8 nickels = 2 paradigms Edit - formatting

New weights and measures 1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi 2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton 3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope 4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond 5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram 6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong 7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling 8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon 9. 1,000…

Lindsey Graham gets new suit On a Senate trip to Japan, Lindsey Graham picked up some silk to have a custom suit made. At a top notch tailor shop in South Carolina, the tailor said with the material, he could make a single breasted suit. Graham decided to wait, took the material to a tailor in New York who told him he could make a double breasted suit, a vest, and an extra pair of pants. He asked, "How can you do so much more with this material than the tailor in South Carolina?" "Well, sen…

What do you call white grand parents? Graham-crackers... "wokka wokka"

Wanna hear my campfire jokes? They're straight fire Wanna hear s'more? I deal crackers by the graham