#iraq

London weather is just like Iraq. A little bit sunni, but mostly shiite.

I just checked the weather for Iraq Looks like it's partly cloudy with a chance of bomb.

Why are the people of Saudi Arabia always behind the times? Because they live under Iraq.

President George W. Bush was once informed that 4 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. He responded, ""How many is a brazilian?""

An American soldier is deployed to Iraq... An American soldier is deployed to Iraq around 2005. One of the first things he noticed upon arrival was that women walked about 10 paces behind their husbands. He had never seen this before and asked his commanding officer why they did that. ""Iraq isn't as advanced as the US and women don't have equal rights here, they must walk behind their men as a display of subservience."" replied his CO. Ten years passed and the soldier was once again deployed to…

Poland started World War 2 like Iraq was responsible for 9/11

Sometimes a tough situation is best described... As being between Iraq and hard place.

Bush, Trump, Sanders and Clinton are all on a plane and the pilot is Biden. Suddenly Biden has a heart attack and the plane is losing altitude. Their only option is to evacuate, but there are only three parachutes. Bush yells, ""I'm Jeb Bush! I havent bomb Iraq yet! I cant let my bro and dad laugh at me!"" He took the first parachute and jumped. Trump runs screaming, ""I havent dated my daughter and watch her playboy debut, I cant die here!"" He grabbed the second parachute and jumped. Clinton p…

A soldier wakes up one morning... A soldier wakes up one morning and goes down to breakfast. He has tousled hair and deep, dark bags under his eyes. ""How did you sleep, honey?"" his mom asks. ""Like Iraq,"" he answers. ""That's great, sweetie,"" she says without looking up.

What did Trump say about the Middle East? Iran for president, then Iraq the nation.

In 2009, it cost approximately 53,000 dollars to fly a troop to Iraq, and nearly double that to fly them back. Probably because of all the extra baggage.

A soldier is at the bar when his buddy walks in. The buddy, surprised to see him, asks... Buddy: Hey how did you escape Iraq? Soldier: Iran.

True Story of Joke Told at Ft Benning, GA In class 92-1 of Infantry Officer Basic course we were in a large lecture hall in building 4 at Ft. Benning, GA. Desert Storm had just finished less than a year previously and we were one of the first classes of new infantry officers to get a look at all the cool intelligence from Iraq. We were there for an ultra-serious national security lecture. There were at least 200 young officers listening to Colonels and Generals discuss various Geo-Political issu…

I was Saddam tired last night.... I slept like Iraq...

Bush and Brazilian Casaulties of War So, Donald Rumsfeld is briefing George Bush in the Oval Office. ""Oh and finally, sir, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq today."" Bush goes pale, his jaw hanging open in stunned disbelief. He buries his face in his hands, muttering ""My God...My God"". ""Mr. President,"" says Cheney, ""we lose soldiers all the time, and it's terrible. But I've never seen you so upset. What's the matter?"" Bush looks up and says...""How many is a Brazilian?""

Im new to reddit S.O.S How did I asap Iraq.... I ran

Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq? Because he asked for Ice-es

Respecting the American flag I was talking with an Iraqi student living with my family today about the 4th of July. Me: Yeah, so you're supposed to burn the flag once it becomes too beat up. Her: Really? They do that in Iraq all the time.

What's harder to pull out of than Iraq? Bristol Palin.

I served 2 years in Iraq Until they shut down the restaurant

How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible.

Israel and the news media A CNN Reporter, BBC Reporter, and an Israeli commando were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded. The CNN Reporter said, Well, I'm an American, so I'd like one last hamburger with French fries."" The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger & fries. The reporter ate it and said ""Now, I can die."" The BBC Reporter said, I'm a reporter …

A squad of American soldiers is stationed in Iraq. When an explosive device is found by the road, their job is to guard it and make sure it doesn't go off until an expert can arrive and disarm it properly. Their job is a boring one, so a young private named Benjamin gets a clever idea. He catches a poisonous snake, names him Nate, and trains Nate to be a ""guard snake."" When they are called in to guard a bomb, Nate is released near the weapon and his presence is enough to drive off any passers …

ISIS is stuck between Iraq and a hard place.

Middle Eastern suicide hotline A man living in Iraq calls in the the suicide hotline and he says to the operator "" I'm feeling very suicidal and don't feel like living anymore"" The operator replies to him "" well sir can you drive a truck"".