A soldier wakes up one morning... A soldier wakes up one morning and goes down to breakfast. He has tousled hair and deep, dark bags under his eyes. ""How did you sleep, honey?"" his mom asks. ""Like Iraq,"" he answers. ""That's great, sweetie,"" she says without looking up.
"Pika pika pika!" [translated] "I'm sorry, children. Your father was stolen by a Pokemon trainer who has to beat a child named Gary."
Hey General Motors, what about an electronic drum set on the steering wheel? You're welcome.
Looking for a nice, wholesome girl I can bring home to mom. She only dates nice, wholesome girls
As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"
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