#donald-trump

Donald trump is asked ""What is 2+2?"" I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2'? And I tell them, look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh, my God, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. It's terrible. It's just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll t…

Why does Donald Trump like free haircuts? Because he doesn't have toupee.

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are together in a lifeboat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. No land in sight. No ships in sight. Who survives? The American people.

Hillary & Trump goes into a bakery Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. The Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the…

When Donald Trump talks about wanting to help 'the little guy' -- -- he means he needs a prescription for viagra.

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery... Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. The Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest …

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump walk into a bar QUICK! Bar the door and burn it down!

I asked my friend if you could meet anyone living or dead, who would you choose? He said, ""Donald Trump, dead.""

I ran into Donald Trump on other day He looked pretty flat when looked in my rear view mirror.

Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump in a hot air balloon Hilary invites Donald on a bury the hatchet secret meeting before the knives come out in the run up. A little while into the trip she springs a surprise on the other President hopeful.. "" So Trump.. I would like you to say hello to our pilot, Pedro who happens to be Mexican, and my assistant, who happens to be a photographer. "" Before Donald has the chance to react the flame feeding the huge balloon keeping them in the sky starts to flicker …

Donald Trump has announced that his first action as President will be to reintroduce the Bellamy Salute, not just for the Pledge of Allegiance, but also for the National Anthem and for every Presidential Address. There'll be *Heil Toupee*.

You hold the power to save them... With all your honor and dignity, what would you do? Please don't answer without giving it serious thought. By giving an honest answer you will be able to test where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation, where you will have to make a decision one way or the other. Please scroll down slowly and consider each line - this is important for the test to work accurately. You're in Florida ... in Miami, to be exact. There is g…

Donald Trump tells a joke to Hillary Clinton It was hillaryous

How did Donald Trump earn his millions? He started with his dad's billions.

What do you call a group of polar bears that support Donald Trump? A basket of depolarbears

Donald Trump gets on a train with 3 well respected leaders of carious countries. The French President, the Columbian President, the Mexican President, and an American named Donald Trump are riding in a train discussing their country's futures. Trying to out do each other, the Columbian President takes out a kilo of 100% pure Cocaine gets a tiny spoon full, takes a sniff and throws it out the window. ""Le Dio Una Mano!"", exclaims the Columbian President. Astounded, the others in the group ask wh…

My least favorite racist joke Donald Trump

Donald Trump says he can ""protect the Constitution"" Do people really think he can stop Nic Cage?

You are stuck in a room with Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump. You have a gun with 2 bullets in it, what do you do? *Shoot myself twice*

Donald Trump was guaranteed to become president and Muslims native to America started fleeing the country, trying to find out where to head next. I don't know about the others. But for me, just to get away from Trump, Iran.

What does Donald Trump say when he's mad? There'll be hell toupee!

Blatant racial discrimination with a twist of truth. First grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. The teacher asks Sarah: ""What did you do at recess?"" Sarah says, ""I played in the sandbox."" The teacher says, ""That's good, now go to the Blackboard and if you can spell 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."" She does and gets a cookie. The teacher asks Morris what he did at recess. Morris says, ""I played with Sarah in the sandbox."" The teacher says, ""Good. If you wri…

Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, and Donald trump arrive in heaven. Saint Peter tells them that if they can prove that they really are who they say they are, they can go in. Picasso starts painting immediately, creating a master piece. Saint Peter thanks him and lets him in. He then turns to Einstein, who explains the theory of general relativity to him. Saint Peter thanks him and lets him in. He then turns to Trump, who is looking bemused, and tells him ""If you can prove who you are, I will let…

Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, and Donald Trump go to heaven. They are called before God's throne. ""Who are you, and what good did you do on earth?"", God asks Reagan. ""I am Ronald Reagan, oh Lord, and I won the Cold War"", Reagan answers. ""Very well"", God says, ""Take the seat to my right."" He then turns to Clinton and asks him the same question. ""I am Bill Clinton, oh Lord, and I balanced the budget"", Clinton answers. ""Very well"", God says, ""Take the seat to my left."" He then turns to…

Morality Test Are you as moral as you think you are? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Only you will know the results, so remember that your answer needs to be honest. THE SITUATION: You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flood…