#donald-trump

In a small plane... ... there is the pilot, a small kid, an old man, and Donald Trump. The plane starts to go down, and despite there being 4 people there are only 3 parachutes. The Pilot quickly realizing the trouble takes one parachute and jumps out of the plane. Donald Trump says to the kid and old man, ""I will make America great again, my people need me"" and he takes one and jumps out of the plane. At this stage, the old man tells the little kid,"" You take the parachute kid, you have your…

Who would win a knife fight between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton? Everyone!

Please stop saying Donald Trump is mean He can't even make an average president

Donald Trump was down in Rio at the Olympics. He wanted to see how high the Mexican pole vault team was getting.

Donald Trump is a presidential candidate I can relate to Both of us have fantasies with Trump's daughter

What's the difference between a colostomy bag and Donald Trump? A colostomy bag gets emptied once in a while where Trump is always full of shit.

Who will stop Donald Trump? The First Amendment people.

Donald Trump goes to a bar for a drink. Donald Trump goes to a bar for a drink when he noticed a Mexican looking at him. Donald wanted to spite the Mexican so he told the waiter, ""Serve everyone here with the most expensive wine that you have besides the Mexican over there."" The waiter did what he asked but the Mexican man only smiled back at Donald Trump. Annoyed Donald Trump told the waiter, ""Serve everyone with the most expensive Cognac that you have besides that Mexican over there."" Agai…

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and a young girl all board a small plane... Midway through the flight, the pilot has a stroke and the plane starts to go down. There are only three parachutes on board and the four passengers quickly discuss who of them will take them. Immediately the Donald says, ""I'm the first human orange to be nominated for president, I should be given the chance to live!"" He quickly grabs the first chute, slings it on his back, and hops out of the plane. Befo…

Why does Donald Trump watch the olympics? To see how high the mexican pole jumpers can jump.

What do you get if you jack off Donald Trump? you could say, I vank a Trump

Donald Trump has scheduled a speech at the same time as the Olympics Marathon swimming... Its always a sad sight to see so many people exposed to rivers of shit and human waste, that's why I have decided to watch the swimmers instead.

Why is Donald Trump so intent on building a wall with Mexico? To stop the workers at his construction site from running back!

Donald Trump in a submarine Soldier "" Sir! The enemy is attacking, we're under fire!"" Trump ""relax soldier... We're under water...""

Donald Trump walks into an elevator... and a gorgeous woman is inside and says, ""When the doors close, I could drop to my knees and blow you."" Trump replies, ""And what's in it for me?""

Wanted: A Hillary Clinton Joke My mom asked me for a Hillary Clinton joke after I told her a Donald Trump joke. I couldn't think of any joke. So I sent an e-mail to Hillary Clinton asking for a joke about her. As of this post, she still hasn't responded. I just hope that she didn't delete my e-mail.

The Donald Trump Song Who's got the bestest disposition? One guess -- guess who! Who never never starts an argument? (Woman: Hmmmm?) Who never shows a bit of temperament? Who's never wrong but always right? (Donald: Yeah?) Who'd never dream of starting a fight? (Donald: That so?!) Who gets stuck with all the bad press? No one... (Donald quacks angrily) but Donald Trump ! (Donald: Yeah!) PS : The funniest thing is that I didn't have to change a lot of the original Donald duck song.

What do climate change scientists and Donald Trump have in common? Each is desperately hoping the other is a hoax.

What is Donald Trump telling Independents? Orange is the new black.

Why does Donald Trump repeat everything he says in his speeches 3 times? Because you know ,Because you know ,Because you know, his fans, his fans, his fans, wouldnt understand , wouldnt understand, wouldnt understand otherwise, otherwise , otherwise

I don't understand how people aren't inspired by Donald Trump He proof literally anyone can be president

How did Donald Trump get his tonsils removed? Vladimir Putin wore a spiked condom.

I knew Donald Trump was a bro as soon as I knew his taste in music. We both love The Wall.

Why did Donald Trump buy a Wu Tang Clan shirt? Because Wu Tang sounds more cosmopolitan than Ku Klux.

Donald Trump, his publicist, and his ghostwriter walk into a bar... ""So you're alone tonight, Donnie?""