#hilary

Before leaving for the convention center on Election night, Hilary told Bill: ""Tonight, for the first time in history, America will finally have two presidents sleeping with each other""... When she got home, Bill was already eagerly waiting in bed, and he said: ""Is Trump on his way or should I drive to his place?""

I challenge someone to say something including the word ""Trump"" or ""Hilary"" without sounding biased in any way. Hang on... Did I just...

As a Hilary supporter in Colorado, I'm still happy with the outcome of the election. Since proposition 106 passed I can legally kill myself now that trump won.

Donald - Knock knock Hilary- Who's there? Donald - Interrupting Donald Trump Hilary - Interrupting Don--- Donald - WRONG!

Hilary Clinton goes to a psychic. The soothsayer tells her, ""Your husband will die a horrible violent death."" Hilary asks, ""Will I be acquitted?""

Sort of racist joke (sorry) Why will Hilary win the election? Because only the white people that didn't go to college will vote for Trump. All the other people that didn't go to college will vote for Hillary.

I hope Hilary gets elected. So taxpayers can save 23% on paying the presidential salary.

The Pope and Hilary Clinton were on the same stage at the Yankee Stadium in front of a giant crowd... The Pope leans towards Hilary and says, ""Do you know with one wave of my hand I can make this entire crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"" Hilary said, "" I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand...show me!"" So the Pope backhanded her off the stage. The crowd roa…

Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump in a hot air balloon Hilary invites Donald on a bury the hatchet secret meeting before the knives come out in the run up. A little while into the trip she springs a surprise on the other President hopeful.. "" So Trump.. I would like you to say hello to our pilot, Pedro who happens to be Mexican, and my assistant, who happens to be a photographer. "" Before Donald has the chance to react the flame feeding the huge balloon keeping them in the sky starts to flicker …

If Hilary and Trump are stranded on a raft in the ocean, who survives? America. America survives.

Seriously Funny 7 12 '16 Today's Amazon Prime Day or Christmas in July where you can get on-line deals on hundreds of items you didn't know you needed! Trump's considering Newt Gingrich for V.P. Good thinking. Nobody would ever assassinate Trump if it'd make Newt the President! Dietitians claim brighter colored food is better for you. That's it, I'm switching to Fruity Pebbles and Kool-aid for a healthier breakfast! Today's Inspirational Thought; Death is just God finally collecting on a prepaid…

The fight against Hilary and Donald If Hilary wins a door to women's rights will be opened and if Donald Trump won the there won't be anyone to open that door

One good thing about Hilary as president. One good thing about having Hilary as president is that we wouldn't have to pay her as much.

What's the only thing that doesn't make Hilary suck? Bill

Oprah and Hilary have a backup plan if trump wins The catcher in the rye is going to be featured in Oprah's book club

Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania? Because all his other wives support Hilary

Politics now a days.... On my college campus people write ""feel the bern"" everywhere so i decided to give Hilary some love and wrote ""feel the clit"" everywhere! I don't see the problem

Trump wants to make America great again, Hilary wants to make America whole again. Together, they can make America a great hole.

So Hilary, what are your plans for economic development and beating ISIS if you ever win the election? ""I have a boyfriend""

Hillary Clinton goes jogging [long] Hillary Clinton was out jogging one morning along the parkway when she tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the river below. Before anyone else could get to her, 3 kids who were fishing pulled her out of the water. She was so grateful she offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid says, ""I want to go to Disneyland."" Hilary says, ""No problem, I'll take you there on my campaign airplane"". The second kid says, ""I want a new pair of N…

A few years after he became an ex-President, Bill and Hilary are driving around Arkansas and stop for gas. The guy operating the pump is about their age. When it's done and they're driving away, Hilary chuckles and says ""The guy at the gas station? My mom wanted me to marry him."" Bill gives her a big grin and says ""Can you imagine where you'd be now, if you'd married him instead of me?"" She gives him a cold stare and says ""Yeah, I'd be driving around with an former President of the United S…

HILARY AND THE TRUTH Hilary Clinton saying she is going to tell the truth is like an atheist saying 'God bless you.'

Chelsea asks Hilary to dinner 100k for a meet-and-greet, 250 to say hello and 400,000 for dinner.

Hillary clinton was driving past the whitehouse and ran over obamas dog. She pops out of the car and holding her face says: what ever am I going to do? Just then she notices a golden lamp on the ground near the dog and gives it a rub. The genie jump out and says thanks for freeing me! You get one free wish. She says- ok, I want this dog to be back alive! The genie looks at the dogs smashed head under her tire and says Whew, that dog is too far gone to save. Do you have another wish? Hillary clin…

Students taking English Literature at a local college were assigned to read two books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. He got an A+. Titanic: cost - $29.99 Clinton: cost - $29.99 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Titanic: Over 3 hours to read Clinton: Over 3 hours to read ---------------------------------------------------------------------…